ACTION!

I just took a journey through the unexplained, or moreso, explained for the first time. Nobody explained it, maybe I'm still trying to figure it out --

Action - Description lines.

Sure, I was describing the action, no prob there, and in the least amount of words possible, as advised by the pro-readers. The problem is, that is choppy, clinical -- there's nothing artistic or creative about it at all. I was moving my mannequins around the room.

Crack open a produced script and you'll see some awfully strange yet interesting action lines, such as:

He exhaled, as if to say "you bet your ass."

What? That's allowed?

Apparently so, and better than the way I put it:

He exhaled.

CHARACTER
You bet your ass.

There's the mannequin in me, I guess.

What ensued was a total rewrite of overthinking the game, I started using adverbs and other things I hadn't introduced before. Didn't help.

A mentor suggested "just write your story", actually two of them said that. Well, I've done that, and it is a very strong structure and plot, all the other things I hear writers battling with came out really good for me.

Except action lines, I guess, like now --

He types away - quick to finish.
He's typing as fast as he can.
He's typing his post, but thinking about breakfast.

Something like that.

FADE OUT