FRIEND, FAN, OR AUDIENCE?

With the evolution of "social networking" and changes in very traditional protocols, I feel it is necessary to outline some of the distortion of roles in this phenomenon. In plain english, I'm going to call "bullshit" on a bunch of it, with help from an online dictionary.

FRIEND -- "A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts".
To disappoint Facebook, and many of its users, their term for "friend" does not meet this definition. Most of us do not "know" our Facebook "friends". If you don't "know" someone, it would be strange to "trust" them, you may however "like" something they do or say, and that might make you a...

FAN -- "An ardent devotee; an enthusiast".
Definitely a case of "liking" someone or something without having the comittment of friendship. I'm a "fan" of Jason Reitman's work, such as "Juno" or "Up in the Air", but he's not my "friend", and I don't even "like" him personally since the "Turner - Reitman Stolen Screenwriting Credit Debacle", but I'm a "fan" of his work, which makes me part of his...

AUDIENCE -- "The devotees or followers of a public entertainer, lecturer, etc.; regular public"
In Reitman's case, I'm paying and investing time to be part of his "audience", as I trust his work and that it will be satisfying. There seems to be an agenda connected to "audience" -- one is either trying to sell something, promote an idealism, market their abilities, share their story. There is usually a form of self-gratification involved for the person taking center stage -- the desire to be applauded, recognized for their efforts, or the feeling that they have helped others.

My point in all of this -- "friends" should not have to serve as an "audience". If you invite your true friends to your recital, that is different, and fine in my book. "Fans" are not "friends", they can become friends if you get to know them and gain their trust, but it's a two-way street, it takes an investment on your part too.

This observation comes from a "friend" thinking I've become an "audience" or "fan", which is not true, so I've notified them that there's no redeeming quality to their one-sided communications, I have other things to do than root for them (so weird because they're not even promoting a product or anything worthwhile, they seem to need a fanbase for their life).

Likewise, to every clerk at Starbucks trying to push their instant "VIA" product on me, explaining I could save a trip by making my own at home -- I go there because my dog likes to sit outside and meet people. I'm not a "friend, fan, or audience" of Starbucks, my dog likes your patio, and you could be selling mud, for all he cares.

To a few blogs I've followed for almost a year -- somehow I could show up and post and you couldn't take the time to post on mine, which is just common courtesy. It shows that you think I'm a "fan" and there's no reason to respond or trade the gesture. Good luck with that.

Shout out to Sarah Z., who not only has provided meaningful blog content, but has exchanged posts with mine, and through our online work together has definitely gained my trust and let me get to know her, meeting the definition of "friend". I'm also a "fan" of her work, and I hope to be in the "audience" when her film makes the cut.

I'm taking inventory, looking out for any "friends" who think I'm their "audience", I really don't have the need for it, you shouldn't either.

WTF?

Is it complacency going down here, or just a state of mind, or age? Do people actually stand up for what they believe in anymore, or just what is profitable? Do people care, or just care about what affects them? Do you give a fuck anymore, or is this my own, middle-aged state of mind as everyone goes through, questioning the midst of a journey?

A combination thereof, I assume.

In the 1980's, we bit our nails over the cold war, while enjoying excess in one of the worst mortgage circumstances ever. Nobody pulled together, we weren't out there for a cause... compared to today, we sucked more then than ever. X-S, that was it -- if you were there, try to get it, and all you could of it.

Not much has changed in 30 years.

Or maybe 3000 plus years, because Anthony and Cleopatra didn't do it much different, and they learned from their ancestors.

Maybe it's the thing of friends dropping like flies, which is weird, because flies stay around until you swat them, and even then, you miss. "Friends" are like that, you usually can't run them off -- unless you move on, then they're gone, quick. I hear a lot of that from blog friends these days -- they're astounded about the way friends come and go. I hear you, friends.

I've mailed daily with a friend for over nine years, we have seen each other only a handful of times -- actually the guy was a student in my art school and we bonded over life and business. In fact, he was here weeks ago, on his U.S. tour -- stayed a few nights, we downed wine, talked biz... a bit different than before but fine. Well, after he left we have mailed maybe twice. He's pretty bitter and "different" about life, the economy... I can relate but I can't, our lifestyles have grown apart. He'd rather spend time being hateful on Facebook than discussing new business ideas with me. See ya, bud.

Well, tomorrow the sun rises, and for some of you, that is right now. And like all the other times it has risen, it's another chance for us to do our thing. We're okay, we're still doing what we believe in, and we'll make it another day, whatever god you praise, willing.

Good luck out there, peeps!

FADE OUT!