HOW TO WRITE A SCREENPLAY
First on the agenda is to help you get motivated about writing your own screenplay. No, I am not an expert, but plenty of other screenwriters are, and I have read much of their posted material and tips on what, and more importantly, what not to do when it comes to writing and selling a spec script.
As of this post, I've only been familiar with the screenwriting "craft" for just over sixty days, and I have two nearly completed scripts. You can do the same. It is said that "everyone has at least one story in them". That might be true, but it needs to be a story worth hearing. You don't need to spend four years and over $100K at a university to find out whether or not you can write a script that contains interesting content. In fact many have, and they still have not written a screenplay, and are drained with paying off their student loans. Test yourself now, see if you have the passion, then lay down some hard cash at UCLA or pay for some screenwriting workshops. But if you don't have the will or discipline it takes, no amount of money will secure a spec script sale in the trade.
I scour the web daily for bits of information that will further my goal of seeing my own name on the screen, and if you stick around, I will help you in the right direction. Promise. One of my talents as an art and business instructor is knowing how to condense material and focus on what is important. Theoretically, how long would you have really needed, given the right info and training, to complete high school? I mean the essential, important stuff. If you're thinking one year, you're right. One very disciplined and stressful year of being completely absorbed in four years of material, but nevertheless, one year.
Within sixty days, if you follow my advice, you will know whether or not you can be a contender for scripting. In fact, you'll know it within thirty days, so give it a shot, you might surprise yourself. With me? Good, now onto step one:
READ SCRIPTS
Before you dive into screenwriting, professionals across the board agree that it is a good idea to read a few scripts. Well, actually more than a few, so I'll link some resources to screenplays. Doing this will save you a lot of trouble in the long-run. By reading a script you will start to get a feel for the format, lingo, timing, and everything that is important about a screenplay. There's more to it than that, but don't worry about the details, just get a couple "reads" under your belt.
WHAT TO READ?
Something you like, of course! Start off with a film that you enjoyed, one that you can mostly remember. Different genres, or types of films, have different writing styles. Comedies are often fast moving and snappy, while a drama may want to slow you down, in deep thought.
How long a script should be can be a heated debate, but almost everyone agrees that 120 pages or less are best. Reading a script that length will only take you about two hours- one minute per page. Don't worry, script pages are really short and full of white spaces, it goes quickly.
WHICH DRAFT?
Also noteworthy: scripts posted on the web are not always the final draft. Typically in the industry there is a first draft, rewrite (2nd draft), and a polish... although this is changing in our current economic times. I often read a draft instead of the final just to see how the script was changed.
Yes, scripts get changed, all the time, sad but true. Once you write the script your job is fighting all the people who want to change it, should you be so lucky or talented as to get that far. It's a good problem to have.
To read scripts, most of the time you will need the free Adobe Acrobat PDF Reader. This is very convenient, as it allows you to save the script on your computer for your own reading and reference pleasure.
HERE is a link to the reader.
Now, onto some script resources. My first read was "Juno", an easy read, lots of fun. This seems to be the "final draft" and "production script" with scene numbers. DO NOT include scene numbers in your script, production handles that. Compliments of Scribd.com, you don't need the reader for this.
JUNO SCRIPT
My next read was "Devil Wears Prada". This is a draft and you will notice slight changes from the actual film. Compliments of Simplyscripts.com, PDF file.
DEVIL WEARS PRADA SCRIPT
And finally, "Sideways", a very funny film that everyone can relate to, courtesy of Awesomefilm.com
SIDEWAYS SCRIPT
Again, read the type of films that you enjoy. If you're into sci-fi or thrillers, look up "Star Wars" or "Body Heat" at my listed resources above.
Showing posts with label Scripts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Scripts. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
FULL CIRCLE DOUGHNUT
INT. SCREENED PORCH - MORNING
Caesar the Dog has a round loop of rawhide in his mouth, a section chewed out, representing the letter "C". It's known as the "doughnut". Chewing voraciously, he steps just within Brian's reach, tempting him to take the bait.
BRIAN
You giving me that doughnut, Caesar? Good boy!
BRIAN (V.O.)
Nothing like a doughnut in the morning, a leather one at that.
(beat)
Several months ago, we bought a little rawhide pack full of different shapes and sizes. There was this small ring in there, and that was Caesar's favorite: the doughnut. It was neat to see him so thrilled over such a simple thing. It's really just another piece of rawhide but the shape is very unique. In no time he figured out how to remove the tab that binds both ends; he could have the doughnut ripped apart in one hour.
We pick these up on our Friday night grocery trip. Yes, we shop on Friday night, because we're married and like going into the weekend with a full "frig". Plus, there's not a lot else to do in this town except eat and go to the occasional movie.
We started a ritual with Caesar, telling him to "be good" while we're gone and we'll bring him a doughnut. He clearly understands, going to his kennel and waiting. When we get back he's really excited, sitting perfectly in front of my Lovely Wife so she can unpack the doughnut and hand it over. It's his thrill of the week.
On one grocery run we were disappointed to see that they were out of the doughnuts. I searched through several packs and found one inside, but it was a very small version, a mini-doughnut if you will. Unveiled at home, Caesar could have cared less, it was round and made of rawhide, all the same to him, he ran off with it in his mouth, ecstatic as ever.
Lately, we've been able to get the full-sized version again. He's changed his habit: instead of tearing it up in one hour he stretches it over a week. Just when you think it is gone he appears with a half-chewed shape from his secret hiding place, like he did this morning.
In relation to screenwriting, our scripts are like the doughnut. Sometimes we spill out a scene as fast as Caesar eats one. Other times, we play with it a bit, then pull it out later, getting enthused again. And like the dog, we have some hidden, unfinished pieces laying around that only need a few more bites to complete. We ought to try to finish the leftovers, coming full circle, otherwise they might end up in a box, in the trash, like several of Caesar's small, unfinished tidbits of leather.
Good luck in your writing.
Caesar the Dog has a round loop of rawhide in his mouth, a section chewed out, representing the letter "C". It's known as the "doughnut". Chewing voraciously, he steps just within Brian's reach, tempting him to take the bait.
BRIAN
You giving me that doughnut, Caesar? Good boy!
BRIAN (V.O.)
Nothing like a doughnut in the morning, a leather one at that.
(beat)
Several months ago, we bought a little rawhide pack full of different shapes and sizes. There was this small ring in there, and that was Caesar's favorite: the doughnut. It was neat to see him so thrilled over such a simple thing. It's really just another piece of rawhide but the shape is very unique. In no time he figured out how to remove the tab that binds both ends; he could have the doughnut ripped apart in one hour.
We pick these up on our Friday night grocery trip. Yes, we shop on Friday night, because we're married and like going into the weekend with a full "frig". Plus, there's not a lot else to do in this town except eat and go to the occasional movie.
We started a ritual with Caesar, telling him to "be good" while we're gone and we'll bring him a doughnut. He clearly understands, going to his kennel and waiting. When we get back he's really excited, sitting perfectly in front of my Lovely Wife so she can unpack the doughnut and hand it over. It's his thrill of the week.
On one grocery run we were disappointed to see that they were out of the doughnuts. I searched through several packs and found one inside, but it was a very small version, a mini-doughnut if you will. Unveiled at home, Caesar could have cared less, it was round and made of rawhide, all the same to him, he ran off with it in his mouth, ecstatic as ever.
Lately, we've been able to get the full-sized version again. He's changed his habit: instead of tearing it up in one hour he stretches it over a week. Just when you think it is gone he appears with a half-chewed shape from his secret hiding place, like he did this morning.
In relation to screenwriting, our scripts are like the doughnut. Sometimes we spill out a scene as fast as Caesar eats one. Other times, we play with it a bit, then pull it out later, getting enthused again. And like the dog, we have some hidden, unfinished pieces laying around that only need a few more bites to complete. We ought to try to finish the leftovers, coming full circle, otherwise they might end up in a box, in the trash, like several of Caesar's small, unfinished tidbits of leather.
Good luck in your writing.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
SCREENWRITING COMPETITIONS
INT. SCREENED PORCH - MORNING
We see Brian with his legs kicked up on the wicker table, Dell in his lap, typing away. Maus the cat is snuggled into a tight, white, fluffy ball in a chair, a sign that autumn will soon be here.
BRIAN (V.O.)
Ahh, crisp, cool, air at sixty six degrees, what a welcome surprise.
(beat)
This morning I read a blog post concerning a friend's screenwriting competition entry. She got the standard "thanks but no thanks" line concerning her script. Bummer.
A lot of "organizations" have jumped onto the competition bandwagon, hell, I even hosted several annual art competitions on my DECORATIVE ARTS CENTER FAUX FINISHING SCHOOL website. I had several reasons for doing this: as a reward to students and a chance for them to gain recognition and win a cash prize, to show potential students that we had successful graduates, and to put myself ahead of competitors, who offered nothing.
In no time entries were piling up, it was quite a task picking winners of categories, writing checks, notifying everyone, posting all the results and images on the web. It became so consuming that I discontinued the event.
So, why do production companies or organizations host so many screenplay competitions? My guess is that they are looking to tag themselves onto the best script. Not only that, if the writer has any sort of connections, any elements, they hope to feed on it. Also, just securing the info of the entries i.e. name, address, email, is money. They can use your info to sell to mailing lists to SPAMMERS, trying to direct sell you on a trade-related product. Plus, of course, there's income from entry fees.
Not to say this is every company's motivation, I stated several other reasons to host. And entering a competition is a good exercise, let alone the thrill if you can be a finalist. It's such an opportunity that it would almost be foolish not to enter. But I can't say it is a complete gauge of whether or not someone is a great writer.
INT. SCREENPLAY COMPETITION OFFICE - DAY
The hacks sit among stacks of script entries in a small room. Light barely passes through a window, obscured by reams of processed pulp, spiky brads protruding.
HACK #1
(angrily)
NOW what do we do??
HACK #2
(laughing)
Call a recycling company?
HACK #1
(cynically)
This was your idea, now look, it would take weeks just to enter all of their emails into a SPAM program, it's not worth it.
HACK #2
(resigning)
I know. Do you think anyone will be able to tell that we haven't read a single one of these?
HACK #1
There's no law against it. How much did we get in entry fees?
HACK #2
Well, five thousand entries, thirty a wack, that's fifteen thousand bucks! And not a single read!!
HACK #1
Okay, we DO have to pick a winner though, to make it legit.
HACK #2
Ach, just pick one out of the pile, we'll notify them, and just like "Rock of Love", we'll give it a consider but never marry it!
HACK #1
(elated)
Then we'll have another competition!
HACK #2
EXACTLY!!
FADE OUT
We see Brian with his legs kicked up on the wicker table, Dell in his lap, typing away. Maus the cat is snuggled into a tight, white, fluffy ball in a chair, a sign that autumn will soon be here.
BRIAN (V.O.)
Ahh, crisp, cool, air at sixty six degrees, what a welcome surprise.
(beat)
This morning I read a blog post concerning a friend's screenwriting competition entry. She got the standard "thanks but no thanks" line concerning her script. Bummer.
A lot of "organizations" have jumped onto the competition bandwagon, hell, I even hosted several annual art competitions on my DECORATIVE ARTS CENTER FAUX FINISHING SCHOOL website. I had several reasons for doing this: as a reward to students and a chance for them to gain recognition and win a cash prize, to show potential students that we had successful graduates, and to put myself ahead of competitors, who offered nothing.
In no time entries were piling up, it was quite a task picking winners of categories, writing checks, notifying everyone, posting all the results and images on the web. It became so consuming that I discontinued the event.
So, why do production companies or organizations host so many screenplay competitions? My guess is that they are looking to tag themselves onto the best script. Not only that, if the writer has any sort of connections, any elements, they hope to feed on it. Also, just securing the info of the entries i.e. name, address, email, is money. They can use your info to sell to mailing lists to SPAMMERS, trying to direct sell you on a trade-related product. Plus, of course, there's income from entry fees.
Not to say this is every company's motivation, I stated several other reasons to host. And entering a competition is a good exercise, let alone the thrill if you can be a finalist. It's such an opportunity that it would almost be foolish not to enter. But I can't say it is a complete gauge of whether or not someone is a great writer.
INT. SCREENPLAY COMPETITION OFFICE - DAY
The hacks sit among stacks of script entries in a small room. Light barely passes through a window, obscured by reams of processed pulp, spiky brads protruding.
HACK #1
(angrily)
NOW what do we do??
HACK #2
(laughing)
Call a recycling company?
HACK #1
(cynically)
This was your idea, now look, it would take weeks just to enter all of their emails into a SPAM program, it's not worth it.
HACK #2
(resigning)
I know. Do you think anyone will be able to tell that we haven't read a single one of these?
HACK #1
There's no law against it. How much did we get in entry fees?
HACK #2
Well, five thousand entries, thirty a wack, that's fifteen thousand bucks! And not a single read!!
HACK #1
Okay, we DO have to pick a winner though, to make it legit.
HACK #2
Ach, just pick one out of the pile, we'll notify them, and just like "Rock of Love", we'll give it a consider but never marry it!
HACK #1
(elated)
Then we'll have another competition!
HACK #2
EXACTLY!!
FADE OUT
Friday, August 28, 2009
DRILL-DOWN
INT. KITCHEN - MORNING
We see Brian installing a DEADBOLT LOCK. He removes a PLASTIC JIG from its packaging, then slides it to fit on the edge of the WOODEN DOOR.
He attaches a large, circular BIT to the DRILL, triggering it once to watch it SPIN.
BRIAN (V.O.)
Ready.
On his target, the drill BITES into the wood, firmly in his GRIP. An eery SCREECH warns that it will soon come to a halt. Sawdust takes flight and powders the floor. Just then the bit PUNCHES through to the other side.
Brian pulls the drill back and removes the bit with a wrench. A small disc of wood fills the hollow cylinder. He takes a screwdriver, prying, and the disc POPS out, HITTING the floor, and rolling.
CUT TO:
INT. WOODEN DISK - DAY
We are at ground level, right behind the rolling disc, the grooves of the oak wood floor coming towards us from the perspective, as it were taxiing down a runway.
The disc goes through the opening to the dining room, gaining momentum. It's headed toward Maus, the white, furry, now Godzilla-sized cat, who is bent down in stalking position in the distant living room.
CUT TO:
CAESAR THE DOG
Caesar lies in his kennel, raising one ear as he hears the oncoming disk. He sits up quickly, head jutting out as the disk approaches.
CUT TO:
Caesar's giant, tan paw with long, black nails CRASHES down on the disk. He leans forward curiously, sniffs it, then reveals his large, pearly canines.
CRUNCH!
FADE OUT
BRIAN (V.O.)
This was just a writing exercise for me, trying to take the uneventful, mundane task of installing a door lock and turning it into something hopefully thrilling.
(beat)
It needs work, I know, that why I practice.
We see Brian installing a DEADBOLT LOCK. He removes a PLASTIC JIG from its packaging, then slides it to fit on the edge of the WOODEN DOOR.
He attaches a large, circular BIT to the DRILL, triggering it once to watch it SPIN.
BRIAN (V.O.)
Ready.
On his target, the drill BITES into the wood, firmly in his GRIP. An eery SCREECH warns that it will soon come to a halt. Sawdust takes flight and powders the floor. Just then the bit PUNCHES through to the other side.
Brian pulls the drill back and removes the bit with a wrench. A small disc of wood fills the hollow cylinder. He takes a screwdriver, prying, and the disc POPS out, HITTING the floor, and rolling.
CUT TO:
INT. WOODEN DISK - DAY
We are at ground level, right behind the rolling disc, the grooves of the oak wood floor coming towards us from the perspective, as it were taxiing down a runway.
The disc goes through the opening to the dining room, gaining momentum. It's headed toward Maus, the white, furry, now Godzilla-sized cat, who is bent down in stalking position in the distant living room.
CUT TO:
CAESAR THE DOG
Caesar lies in his kennel, raising one ear as he hears the oncoming disk. He sits up quickly, head jutting out as the disk approaches.
CUT TO:
Caesar's giant, tan paw with long, black nails CRASHES down on the disk. He leans forward curiously, sniffs it, then reveals his large, pearly canines.
CRUNCH!
FADE OUT
BRIAN (V.O.)
This was just a writing exercise for me, trying to take the uneventful, mundane task of installing a door lock and turning it into something hopefully thrilling.
(beat)
It needs work, I know, that why I practice.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
THE GREEN CRABGRASS OF HOME
INT. SCREENED PORCH - MORNING
The HUMMING of the air conditioning unit is hypnotizing.
The sun, having just risen, is scorching.
The mosquito bite on Brian's wrist, still itching.
The crabgrass, still growing.
BRIAN (V.O.)
It's a once-weekly, ceremonious day here on the self-dubbed "Plantation".
MAUS
(silently)
Friday?
BRIAN (V.O.)
Yes, but more specifically, the "Cutting of the Crabgrass" day.
MAUS
(silently)
Oh.
CUT TO:
INT. GARAGE - DAY
We see a small tire, as we zoom out there is the faint outline of a riding lawn mower in the dark garage. We can barely make out the letters on the Sears Craftsman decal.
CUT TO:
INT. RACETRACK PIT ROW - DAY
We pan across several stalls, crews working furiously on NASCAR vehicles. A mechanic mounts a tire using an air gun. In the next stall a man cleans the windshield. At the last stall we see Brian working on his lawnmower, filling the right front tire using a can of "Fix a Flat".
BRIAN
C'mon, there has to be more in this can!
LOUDSPEAKER
(filtered)
Five minutes, racers, five minutes and counting.
BRIAN
Shit!
Brian pulls the hose off the tire nipple, throwing the can in the corner. He dons his professional full-faced helmet and leather racing gloves. On the back of his white leathers, the sponsor reads "SEARS", as he climbs onto the seat.
BRIAN
CONTACT!!
He turns the key and the engine fires.
CUT TO:
EXT. GRANDSTAND - DAY
We see the cars emerging from their boxes in disarray, all taxiing to the track line. And then one small vehicle, Brian on the mower.
ANNOUNCER
(filtered)
..and a new racer today, rookie Brian Bullard, on the Sears Craftsman mower!
CROWD
BOO!!
CUT TO:
EXT PIT ROW - DAY
We are in Brian's seat as Jeff Gordon pulls in front of him sideways, blocking his path. Gordon looks out the window.
JEFF GORDON
Haa! Your blades sharpened up, lil' buddy?
Our glove rises in a one finger salute.
Gordon burns out, leaving a cloud of smoke.
BRIAN
(coughing)
-!
DISSOLVE TO:
MONTAGE:
A) Brian is at the starting line, racers revving.
B) We see Brian riding in a turn at five miles per hour, racers passing at one hundred fifty miles per hour on the outside.
C) The grandstand crowd is mocking Brian as he passes slowly.
D) We see him pulling into the pits with a flat right front tire.
E) Brian is sitting, moping in the box. A monitor shows the cars crossing the line with the checkered flag, Jeff Gordon winning.
CUT TO:
INT. PIT BOX - DAY
Brian sits on the mower, silently, helmet in his lap, red locks drenched.
Jeff Gordon appears, standing behind him.
JEFF GORDON
Brian?
BRIAN
(defeated)
Yeah?
JEFF GORDON
Better luck next time!
BRIAN
Yep.
JEFF GORDON
We still on for tomorrow?
BRIAN
If you're weed whacking.
JEFF GORDON
Can you cut it to three inches this time? Like to leave it longer in late summer.
BRIAN
No prob.
JEFF GORDON
Thanks man!
BRIAN
See ya, Jeff.
FADE OUT
The HUMMING of the air conditioning unit is hypnotizing.
The sun, having just risen, is scorching.
The mosquito bite on Brian's wrist, still itching.
The crabgrass, still growing.
BRIAN (V.O.)
It's a once-weekly, ceremonious day here on the self-dubbed "Plantation".
MAUS
(silently)
Friday?
BRIAN (V.O.)
Yes, but more specifically, the "Cutting of the Crabgrass" day.
MAUS
(silently)
Oh.
CUT TO:
INT. GARAGE - DAY
We see a small tire, as we zoom out there is the faint outline of a riding lawn mower in the dark garage. We can barely make out the letters on the Sears Craftsman decal.
CUT TO:
INT. RACETRACK PIT ROW - DAY
We pan across several stalls, crews working furiously on NASCAR vehicles. A mechanic mounts a tire using an air gun. In the next stall a man cleans the windshield. At the last stall we see Brian working on his lawnmower, filling the right front tire using a can of "Fix a Flat".
BRIAN
C'mon, there has to be more in this can!
LOUDSPEAKER
(filtered)
Five minutes, racers, five minutes and counting.
BRIAN
Shit!
Brian pulls the hose off the tire nipple, throwing the can in the corner. He dons his professional full-faced helmet and leather racing gloves. On the back of his white leathers, the sponsor reads "SEARS", as he climbs onto the seat.
BRIAN
CONTACT!!
He turns the key and the engine fires.
CUT TO:
EXT. GRANDSTAND - DAY
We see the cars emerging from their boxes in disarray, all taxiing to the track line. And then one small vehicle, Brian on the mower.
ANNOUNCER
(filtered)
..and a new racer today, rookie Brian Bullard, on the Sears Craftsman mower!
CROWD
BOO!!
CUT TO:
EXT PIT ROW - DAY
We are in Brian's seat as Jeff Gordon pulls in front of him sideways, blocking his path. Gordon looks out the window.
JEFF GORDON
Haa! Your blades sharpened up, lil' buddy?
Our glove rises in a one finger salute.
Gordon burns out, leaving a cloud of smoke.
BRIAN
(coughing)
-!
DISSOLVE TO:
MONTAGE:
A) Brian is at the starting line, racers revving.
B) We see Brian riding in a turn at five miles per hour, racers passing at one hundred fifty miles per hour on the outside.
C) The grandstand crowd is mocking Brian as he passes slowly.
D) We see him pulling into the pits with a flat right front tire.
E) Brian is sitting, moping in the box. A monitor shows the cars crossing the line with the checkered flag, Jeff Gordon winning.
CUT TO:
INT. PIT BOX - DAY
Brian sits on the mower, silently, helmet in his lap, red locks drenched.
Jeff Gordon appears, standing behind him.
JEFF GORDON
Brian?
BRIAN
(defeated)
Yeah?
JEFF GORDON
Better luck next time!
BRIAN
Yep.
JEFF GORDON
We still on for tomorrow?
BRIAN
If you're weed whacking.
JEFF GORDON
Can you cut it to three inches this time? Like to leave it longer in late summer.
BRIAN
No prob.
JEFF GORDON
Thanks man!
BRIAN
See ya, Jeff.
FADE OUT
Friday, August 21, 2009
SEED MONEY
INT. SCREENED PORCH - MORNING
A bluejay lands on the dogwood tree outside the screen. He sqwawks about the lack of seed in the empty feeders. He rotates his head, almost robotically, emitting sounds after each move.
BLUEJAY
(angrily)
Gimme some damn seed!!
BRIAN
Well, hello, little guy, can I interest you in a health care program?
BLUEJAY
What? I said seed!! Gimme some seed!!
BRIAN
One moment, I have here a report from the Bureau of Labor Statistics. It shows that we're not losing as much seed as we have in previous months.
BLUEJAY
(pissed)
Because they're none left to eat, you dumbass!! Fill the feeder, I want some seed!
BRIAN
In fact, we're saving seed by not refilling feeders.
BLUEJAY
(cynically)
No shit? Then where do I eat? Where do I get seed?
BRIAN
Well, we have incorporated a new program: instead of wasting seeding by simply feeding it to birds, we will plant the seed, providing crops, which will produce more seed.
BLUEJAY
And when will the crops be good for harvest?
BRIAN
By two-thousand-eleven, I believe.
BLUEJAY
WHAT??
BRIAN
Yes, isn't it amazing? It's also a sustainable, a green technology at its best. And, we're providing work for those who plant seeds!
BLUEJAY
I'm a freaking bluejay, I don't plant seed, I eat it!
BRIAN
New seed planting jobs rose by one percent last quarter.
BLUEJAY
Look dude, that's neat and all, I guess that is some positive news. The problem is that I do what I do, you can't simply retrain a bird to plant seed, I would starve in the process. It's my job just to find the seed and eat it, I've done that all of my life.
BRIAN
Studies show that new baby birds are interested in seed technology..
BLUEJAY
WHAT?? They're interested in eating it, that's about it.
BRIAN
..and that the seed program will result in more nests built.
BLUEJAY
Don't get me started on nests, I damn near lost my nest this year! In fact, I had a cowbird in there, ever have to raise a cowbird? It cost me a lot of seed, seed I didn't have to spend!
BRIAN
Trends show that nest losses have nearly bottomed out..
BLUEJAY
Yeah, like seed losses? Get the correlation there? No new nests, less seed being eaten? That makes for a lot of starving, homeless birds.
BRIAN
..and we are optimistic about next quarter's...
BLUEJAY
I've had it! You know, if I were an eagle, or some other big-assed bird, I'd fly to some other country. I'd fly there and get some seed from people that understand that birds need to be fed, not trained to plant seed.
BRIAN
..and like our foreign friends, we're looking to implement a health care program for..
BLUEJAY
You're gonna need it with all these starving, homeless birds flying around!
The bluejay flies off in his fruitless search for seed. Brian goes back to typing his script, confident that the bird will one day "get it".
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. BLUE SKY - MORNING
A thick, swirling mass appears overhead, like tiny synchronized dots in motion. It's thousands of birds, it appears they are headed in Brian's direction.
BRIAN
(scared)
HOLY...
BIRDS
(loudly)
SEED! We're coming to get our seed, you bastard!!
FADE OUT
A bluejay lands on the dogwood tree outside the screen. He sqwawks about the lack of seed in the empty feeders. He rotates his head, almost robotically, emitting sounds after each move.
BLUEJAY
(angrily)
Gimme some damn seed!!
BRIAN
Well, hello, little guy, can I interest you in a health care program?
BLUEJAY
What? I said seed!! Gimme some seed!!
BRIAN
One moment, I have here a report from the Bureau of Labor Statistics. It shows that we're not losing as much seed as we have in previous months.
BLUEJAY
(pissed)
Because they're none left to eat, you dumbass!! Fill the feeder, I want some seed!
BRIAN
In fact, we're saving seed by not refilling feeders.
BLUEJAY
(cynically)
No shit? Then where do I eat? Where do I get seed?
BRIAN
Well, we have incorporated a new program: instead of wasting seeding by simply feeding it to birds, we will plant the seed, providing crops, which will produce more seed.
BLUEJAY
And when will the crops be good for harvest?
BRIAN
By two-thousand-eleven, I believe.
BLUEJAY
WHAT??
BRIAN
Yes, isn't it amazing? It's also a sustainable, a green technology at its best. And, we're providing work for those who plant seeds!
BLUEJAY
I'm a freaking bluejay, I don't plant seed, I eat it!
BRIAN
New seed planting jobs rose by one percent last quarter.
BLUEJAY
Look dude, that's neat and all, I guess that is some positive news. The problem is that I do what I do, you can't simply retrain a bird to plant seed, I would starve in the process. It's my job just to find the seed and eat it, I've done that all of my life.
BRIAN
Studies show that new baby birds are interested in seed technology..
BLUEJAY
WHAT?? They're interested in eating it, that's about it.
BRIAN
..and that the seed program will result in more nests built.
BLUEJAY
Don't get me started on nests, I damn near lost my nest this year! In fact, I had a cowbird in there, ever have to raise a cowbird? It cost me a lot of seed, seed I didn't have to spend!
BRIAN
Trends show that nest losses have nearly bottomed out..
BLUEJAY
Yeah, like seed losses? Get the correlation there? No new nests, less seed being eaten? That makes for a lot of starving, homeless birds.
BRIAN
..and we are optimistic about next quarter's...
BLUEJAY
I've had it! You know, if I were an eagle, or some other big-assed bird, I'd fly to some other country. I'd fly there and get some seed from people that understand that birds need to be fed, not trained to plant seed.
BRIAN
..and like our foreign friends, we're looking to implement a health care program for..
BLUEJAY
You're gonna need it with all these starving, homeless birds flying around!
The bluejay flies off in his fruitless search for seed. Brian goes back to typing his script, confident that the bird will one day "get it".
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. BLUE SKY - MORNING
A thick, swirling mass appears overhead, like tiny synchronized dots in motion. It's thousands of birds, it appears they are headed in Brian's direction.
BRIAN
(scared)
HOLY...
BIRDS
(loudly)
SEED! We're coming to get our seed, you bastard!!
FADE OUT
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY
INT. SCREENED PORCH - MORNING
Rays of SUNLIGHT illuminate two cylindrical BIRD FEEDERS.
A green garden HOSE snakes through the CRABGRASS, nurturing a small CRABTREE on a dirt MOUND.
BRIAN (V.O.)
We could use some rain. As much as I'd like to deprive every blade of crabgrass its moisture, the plants and trees need water. What a by-product of this cycle, that damned grass.
(beat)
Which is much like writing: sometimes strange little by-products grow out during my typing journey, and if they're interesting I can feed them. A lot are just pegged for a big squirt of "Round-Up", there are some ideas that shouldn't be allowed to grow.
EXT. CORN FIELD - DAY
From between rows of CORN we see the front of a low, incoming, WHITE PLANE, light REFLECTING off the COCKPIT. It BUZZES over our heads, leaving a thick WAFT of WIND and SPRAY, sending the CROP HEADS waving.
CUT TO:
INT. CROP DUSTER - DAY
We see the pilot, it's Brian, he pulls hard back on the STICK, sending the plane straight UP. He applies RUDDER and spins 180 degrees on axis, DIVING back down in perfect line with the CORNROWS.
BRIAN
(loudly)
YEAH! Textbook IMMELMAN maneuver!!
As he comes down for another run, he spots the SILHOUETTE of an approaching AIRCRAFT, directly out of the sun.
BRIAN
(surprised)
BOGEY? What the..
Following BOELCKE'S DICTA, he chooses to face the oncoming craft HEAD ON, giving full throttle.
BRIAN
(determined)
Come on, mother..
CUT TO:
EXT. VILLAIN'S BI-PLANE - DAY
We zoom in on the aged BI-PLANE. It's a SPUTTERING matte-black bird, patched with silver DUCT TAPE. In bright yellow-green script the moniker "CRABGRASS" is painted on its dented sides.
The planes pass at TOP SPEED in a NEAR COLLISION.
CUT TO:
INT. CROP DUSTER - DAY
BRIAN
(pissed)
F'n CRABGRASS!!
Brian pulls another IMMELMAN, setting him directly on the TAIL of the AGRESSOR, who is dropping a LARGE load of CRABGRASS seed into the CORNROWS. The CESSNA easily catches up to the ragged BI-PLANE.
BRIAN
(angrily)
In my sights now you..
The CESSNA BARREL ROLLS, releasing a thick MIST of ROUND-UP, enveloping the BI-PLANE. The AGGRESSOR'S craft coughs and SPUTTERS, quickly TURNING AWAY from the fight. It LIMPS away in DEFEAT.
BRIAN
There's more where that came from, buddy!
The alabaster CESSNA RISES in VICTORY, spiraling straight up in a CORKSCREW, a symbolic, aerodynamic FIST PUMP!
Just then there is a DEAD SILENCE, the ENGINE HAS CUT OUT! Brian FIGHTS to maintain CONTROL.
BRIAN
(worried)
HOLY!!..
WIth the CRAFT righted and GLIDING, Brian seeks out a LANDING SPOT among the geometrical forms of EARTH, chosing a BRIGHT green, small square near a FARMHOUSE.
BRIAN
(clenching)
This is it, c'mon baby..
The plane DIVES for the PATCH, Brian releasing the FLAPS to slow descent in the last possible second.
FWOOSH!!! The plane's landing is PADDED by the thick, lush green VEGETATION.
BRIAN
(relieved)
Oh man, thank god for this...
He peers out the window to see what SAVED him from the POTENTIALLY FATAL CRASH.
BRIAN
(pissed)
CRABGRASS???
FADE OUT!
Rays of SUNLIGHT illuminate two cylindrical BIRD FEEDERS.
A green garden HOSE snakes through the CRABGRASS, nurturing a small CRABTREE on a dirt MOUND.
BRIAN (V.O.)
We could use some rain. As much as I'd like to deprive every blade of crabgrass its moisture, the plants and trees need water. What a by-product of this cycle, that damned grass.
(beat)
Which is much like writing: sometimes strange little by-products grow out during my typing journey, and if they're interesting I can feed them. A lot are just pegged for a big squirt of "Round-Up", there are some ideas that shouldn't be allowed to grow.
EXT. CORN FIELD - DAY
From between rows of CORN we see the front of a low, incoming, WHITE PLANE, light REFLECTING off the COCKPIT. It BUZZES over our heads, leaving a thick WAFT of WIND and SPRAY, sending the CROP HEADS waving.
CUT TO:
INT. CROP DUSTER - DAY
We see the pilot, it's Brian, he pulls hard back on the STICK, sending the plane straight UP. He applies RUDDER and spins 180 degrees on axis, DIVING back down in perfect line with the CORNROWS.
BRIAN
(loudly)
YEAH! Textbook IMMELMAN maneuver!!
As he comes down for another run, he spots the SILHOUETTE of an approaching AIRCRAFT, directly out of the sun.
BRIAN
(surprised)
BOGEY? What the..
Following BOELCKE'S DICTA, he chooses to face the oncoming craft HEAD ON, giving full throttle.
BRIAN
(determined)
Come on, mother..
CUT TO:
EXT. VILLAIN'S BI-PLANE - DAY
We zoom in on the aged BI-PLANE. It's a SPUTTERING matte-black bird, patched with silver DUCT TAPE. In bright yellow-green script the moniker "CRABGRASS" is painted on its dented sides.
The planes pass at TOP SPEED in a NEAR COLLISION.
CUT TO:
INT. CROP DUSTER - DAY
BRIAN
(pissed)
F'n CRABGRASS!!
Brian pulls another IMMELMAN, setting him directly on the TAIL of the AGRESSOR, who is dropping a LARGE load of CRABGRASS seed into the CORNROWS. The CESSNA easily catches up to the ragged BI-PLANE.
BRIAN
(angrily)
In my sights now you..
The CESSNA BARREL ROLLS, releasing a thick MIST of ROUND-UP, enveloping the BI-PLANE. The AGGRESSOR'S craft coughs and SPUTTERS, quickly TURNING AWAY from the fight. It LIMPS away in DEFEAT.
BRIAN
There's more where that came from, buddy!
The alabaster CESSNA RISES in VICTORY, spiraling straight up in a CORKSCREW, a symbolic, aerodynamic FIST PUMP!
Just then there is a DEAD SILENCE, the ENGINE HAS CUT OUT! Brian FIGHTS to maintain CONTROL.
BRIAN
(worried)
HOLY!!..
WIth the CRAFT righted and GLIDING, Brian seeks out a LANDING SPOT among the geometrical forms of EARTH, chosing a BRIGHT green, small square near a FARMHOUSE.
BRIAN
(clenching)
This is it, c'mon baby..
The plane DIVES for the PATCH, Brian releasing the FLAPS to slow descent in the last possible second.
FWOOSH!!! The plane's landing is PADDED by the thick, lush green VEGETATION.
BRIAN
(relieved)
Oh man, thank god for this...
He peers out the window to see what SAVED him from the POTENTIALLY FATAL CRASH.
BRIAN
(pissed)
CRABGRASS???
FADE OUT!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
I LOVE COLLEGE!
INT. LIVING ROOM - MORNING
We see a FLAT SCREEN TV above a MANTLE.
SMOOTH JAZZ is piped therough its SPEAKERS.
The small BLUE RECTANGLE on the Sirius SCREEN bounces like an ATARI in SLO-MO.
BRIAN (V.O.)
Yes, we're inside this morning, couldn't take the heat, literally.
(beat)
It's ashame, now that the crabgrass has been sliced down to an appropriate height. I could be sitting out there enjoying it. But I'd be cooking alright.
Cat #2 is perched on the ARMREST of the COUCH.
Maus seems to ENJOY the cool drafts of the AC.
BRIAN (V.O.)
In my second week of screenwriting "on the job training" , I decide it's time for more training. The script is rolling, the blog is up, now I need to work towards my "online degree". No, it's not a formal degree, per se, no paid courses from unaccredited, online schools. To me, "formal training" for my "online degree" means pulling up a site like WORDPLAYER.COM to read something from Terri Rossio. The guy has an amazing body of work, DISNEY seems to love him.
We see a WEBSITE, with FIFTY-TWO ARTICLES written by Rossi.
Brian SCANS the list and CLICKS on COLUMN number TWO, titled "STRANGE ATTRACTOR".
BRIAN (V.O.)
The article is about creating an intriguing concept for your script. There seems to be a lot of important factors in doing that.
Brian drinks a SIP of COFFEE from an oversized MUG.
He READS the article, hoping that his SCREENPLAY checks out with the advice.
BRIAN (V.O.)
I'm doing a bit of this in reverse order, as you might notice, meaning that instead of reading all I can about the process, I just keep writing my script and periodically checking it against such articles. If it checks out, I pass that phase of testing. If I get a low grade, I need to refine something. If I fail a test, I need some serious remedial work or to get out of this scriptwriting thing alltogether. That hasn't happened yet, thank god.
INT. BLOG READER OFFICE - DAY
Blog Reader #1 is READING the SCREENWRITES OF PASSION blog.
He SHAKES his HEAD, as if what he is READING is ALL WRONG.
BLOG READER #1
(smartassed)
That's not the way you do it, KID. To be a pro screenwriter you need years of training at a university, exposure to thousands of films.
Then you need CONTACTS, lots of 'em.
INT. LIVING ROOM - MORNING
Brian keeps checking the COLUMN, while working on his BLOG.
BRIAN (V.O.)
I'm not going to cover all he says in the article, no "spoilers", check out the story yourself at this LINK.
(beat)
The jist of it is, your story, your concept, it has to be special in a lot of ways. You have to create a hunger in the producer, actors, director, the audience; people have to want to invest in what you deem to be so special.
(beat)
So far, my script is passing this test, it has that "Strange Attractor", or so I believe. I'm not a film buff, in fact, I'm hesitant to go to the movies, ever. I've been disappointed so many times that it just doesn't always seem worth the risk. My "movie" is something I would go see, even if I didn't write it, so that says a lot in my book. It's funny, sometimes serious, it will be familiar to people yet bring the unexpected. It deals with challenges, learning, experiencing, overcoming.
INT. BLOG READER OFFICE - DAY
BLOG READER #1
(apathetically)
Ach, KID! You don't have the SLIGHTEST IDEA! Antagonist, protagonist, a paradigm, genre...THAT'S what this craft is about!
BRIAN (V.O.)
To satisfy a CERTAIN BLOG READER, we will also be testing those parts of the concept as well, in the future.
INT. LIVING ROOM - MORNING
Brian stands and STRETCHES, his left SCIATIC NERVE is TIGHT again, it aches.
BRIAN (V.O.)
My main character is young, full of interest and curiosity. He means well, but things don't always work out, no matter how well he meant. He's naive, making us laugh along at his predicaments, yet mature enough to take his hard knocks and move on, we hope. The audience will like this kid, be pulling for him. Parents will wish him as a son, girls will want him as their boyfriend, boys will want to be him. People of all ages will relate, yes, it could be classifed as a "coming of age" thing.
(beat)
Has it been done? Yes. In my way? No, not just yet.
(beat)
I won't go into the whole concept, that's just a descrip on the main character, I'm not trying to sell anyone on the thing right now (except for my lovely wife).
(beat)
So, I just passed my "online test" in "screenwriting concept". I'll give myself, or the script, a B+ right now, because I'm modest and the ENTIRE concept has not been fully worked out yet.
(beat)
Class dismissed.
(beat)
Man, I love "college"!
We see a FLAT SCREEN TV above a MANTLE.
SMOOTH JAZZ is piped therough its SPEAKERS.
The small BLUE RECTANGLE on the Sirius SCREEN bounces like an ATARI in SLO-MO.
BRIAN (V.O.)
Yes, we're inside this morning, couldn't take the heat, literally.
(beat)
It's ashame, now that the crabgrass has been sliced down to an appropriate height. I could be sitting out there enjoying it. But I'd be cooking alright.
Cat #2 is perched on the ARMREST of the COUCH.
Maus seems to ENJOY the cool drafts of the AC.
BRIAN (V.O.)
In my second week of screenwriting "on the job training" , I decide it's time for more training. The script is rolling, the blog is up, now I need to work towards my "online degree". No, it's not a formal degree, per se, no paid courses from unaccredited, online schools. To me, "formal training" for my "online degree" means pulling up a site like WORDPLAYER.COM to read something from Terri Rossio. The guy has an amazing body of work, DISNEY seems to love him.
We see a WEBSITE, with FIFTY-TWO ARTICLES written by Rossi.
Brian SCANS the list and CLICKS on COLUMN number TWO, titled "STRANGE ATTRACTOR".
BRIAN (V.O.)
The article is about creating an intriguing concept for your script. There seems to be a lot of important factors in doing that.
Brian drinks a SIP of COFFEE from an oversized MUG.
He READS the article, hoping that his SCREENPLAY checks out with the advice.
BRIAN (V.O.)
I'm doing a bit of this in reverse order, as you might notice, meaning that instead of reading all I can about the process, I just keep writing my script and periodically checking it against such articles. If it checks out, I pass that phase of testing. If I get a low grade, I need to refine something. If I fail a test, I need some serious remedial work or to get out of this scriptwriting thing alltogether. That hasn't happened yet, thank god.
INT. BLOG READER OFFICE - DAY
Blog Reader #1 is READING the SCREENWRITES OF PASSION blog.
He SHAKES his HEAD, as if what he is READING is ALL WRONG.
BLOG READER #1
(smartassed)
That's not the way you do it, KID. To be a pro screenwriter you need years of training at a university, exposure to thousands of films.
Then you need CONTACTS, lots of 'em.
INT. LIVING ROOM - MORNING
Brian keeps checking the COLUMN, while working on his BLOG.
BRIAN (V.O.)
I'm not going to cover all he says in the article, no "spoilers", check out the story yourself at this LINK.
(beat)
The jist of it is, your story, your concept, it has to be special in a lot of ways. You have to create a hunger in the producer, actors, director, the audience; people have to want to invest in what you deem to be so special.
(beat)
So far, my script is passing this test, it has that "Strange Attractor", or so I believe. I'm not a film buff, in fact, I'm hesitant to go to the movies, ever. I've been disappointed so many times that it just doesn't always seem worth the risk. My "movie" is something I would go see, even if I didn't write it, so that says a lot in my book. It's funny, sometimes serious, it will be familiar to people yet bring the unexpected. It deals with challenges, learning, experiencing, overcoming.
INT. BLOG READER OFFICE - DAY
BLOG READER #1
(apathetically)
Ach, KID! You don't have the SLIGHTEST IDEA! Antagonist, protagonist, a paradigm, genre...THAT'S what this craft is about!
BRIAN (V.O.)
To satisfy a CERTAIN BLOG READER, we will also be testing those parts of the concept as well, in the future.
INT. LIVING ROOM - MORNING
Brian stands and STRETCHES, his left SCIATIC NERVE is TIGHT again, it aches.
BRIAN (V.O.)
My main character is young, full of interest and curiosity. He means well, but things don't always work out, no matter how well he meant. He's naive, making us laugh along at his predicaments, yet mature enough to take his hard knocks and move on, we hope. The audience will like this kid, be pulling for him. Parents will wish him as a son, girls will want him as their boyfriend, boys will want to be him. People of all ages will relate, yes, it could be classifed as a "coming of age" thing.
(beat)
Has it been done? Yes. In my way? No, not just yet.
(beat)
I won't go into the whole concept, that's just a descrip on the main character, I'm not trying to sell anyone on the thing right now (except for my lovely wife).
(beat)
So, I just passed my "online test" in "screenwriting concept". I'll give myself, or the script, a B+ right now, because I'm modest and the ENTIRE concept has not been fully worked out yet.
(beat)
Class dismissed.
(beat)
Man, I love "college"!
Sunday, August 9, 2009
PITCH OFF A PIC
The "SCREENWRITING FOR HOLLYWOOD" blog posts a inspirational picture and I wrote the beginning of a pitch off of it. To view the image, CLICK HERE.
Mid-day in a German S-Bahn commuter train. Two boys, JUSTIN and MICHAEL, peer out the window excitedly, the electric engines drone to a halt. An elevated station, their first view of Berlin.
Their father, NICK SKULSKI, puts his thumb over the white "open door" button, mounted on the post. A vet and former "Checkpoint Charlie" M.P., he opens the future, and his past, with just one click.
Unexpectedly, the boys dart out of the opening doors and to the wall of windows. Skulski exits slowly, resists the temptation to call out. He's the model of composure.
Just then - a blinding flash from outside, a percussion so strong it sends the glass flying like a thousand needles. Bodies fly, the train lifts from the track.
Skulski lies in the ICU, covered in salve and a myriad of tubes. He wonders the obvious, seeing the doctor's grim face lets him know the answer: the boys didn't make it.
He digs deep; he could give in, leave in one piece, skip this town as he did twenty years before, when the wall came down.
But it's too late, Skulsky is in the mix again, full on, and this time it cost him more than his rank, his pride, someone took his own flesh and blood. A vow to himself, a promise never to leave Berlin again on someone else's terms.
An image in his mind: his thumb, pressing the white button, the switch, to the--
"OPEN DOOR"
Mid-day in a German S-Bahn commuter train. Two boys, JUSTIN and MICHAEL, peer out the window excitedly, the electric engines drone to a halt. An elevated station, their first view of Berlin.
Their father, NICK SKULSKI, puts his thumb over the white "open door" button, mounted on the post. A vet and former "Checkpoint Charlie" M.P., he opens the future, and his past, with just one click.
Unexpectedly, the boys dart out of the opening doors and to the wall of windows. Skulski exits slowly, resists the temptation to call out. He's the model of composure.
Just then - a blinding flash from outside, a percussion so strong it sends the glass flying like a thousand needles. Bodies fly, the train lifts from the track.
Skulski lies in the ICU, covered in salve and a myriad of tubes. He wonders the obvious, seeing the doctor's grim face lets him know the answer: the boys didn't make it.
He digs deep; he could give in, leave in one piece, skip this town as he did twenty years before, when the wall came down.
But it's too late, Skulsky is in the mix again, full on, and this time it cost him more than his rank, his pride, someone took his own flesh and blood. A vow to himself, a promise never to leave Berlin again on someone else's terms.
An image in his mind: his thumb, pressing the white button, the switch, to the--
"OPEN DOOR"
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