BURN AFTER READING
Armed with a DVR remote on a Saturday night, Lovely Wife and I perused the latest to see what we could watch and settled on "Burn After Reading". After all, it was a Coen brothers flick with Clooney, Malkovich, Pitt... what could go wrong?
A lot.
I'm not against different formulas, we should all try something new, but this just doesn't work. Here we have an interesting plot, great character traits, unexpected twists, orchestrated in a brilliant little "POOF" of "who cares and why did I waste the time watching it?"
Lovely Wife, who will sit through any movie, she doesn't give up -- felt pretty ripped off by the last five minutes. It's not a matter of a "good" ending or not, or if you just don't understand the director's technique, there's absolutely no payoff and nobody cares, to wait for the end or through another Coen brothers film.
Too many different POV's, the only character we have a chance to get close too is Clooney, who plays "not such a nice guy". A senseless killing at the end tops it off.
To each his own. I'm not even going to google the box office numbers because just being a Coen film with Clooney and Malkovich influences the gross.
So, if you've got some time to waste, go ahead. If not, you might want to use this piece of advice --
"Burn Before Watching"...
Then read a book.
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Saturday, November 21, 2009
ONE-PAGE SYNOPSIS
I spent one week on one page. No, not one page of the script, that would be a bit much. It was my one page synopsis of the screenplay.
From the get-go I wasn't liking the concept of having to put 110 pages onto one page. Seems sort of, er, uh, degrading? Maybe not quite, but close.
Provided with an example of how this should look, I tore into it, keys blazing, then burned to a halt. Where was all the whitespace I needed? Do I have to use commas? They take up space too!
The more I snipped off words, the worse it got, and every one-page I sent the reader came back with questions all over it, such as "he, as in him, or the other guy?" Damn.
So, like a puzzle, I just shifted, things around, and snipped, but I don't think you're supposed to use scissors when puzzle pieces don't fit!
Frustrated after the fifth attempt, and wondering if the local "Waffle House" is hiring, I tore into a blank email page and wrote the sixth one-page, not caring how long or how many words, tossing all of my lines and notes from before, then hit "send". That's basically a writer's version of suicide, I don't even think I proof-read it I was so pissed off.
Hours later, I heard the email sound "ding" and wasn't sure what to do. In one way, knowing how this would crash, I just wanted to get get it over with. The other way, what if there was a miracle?
I opened, and there wasn't any writing, no corrections, I figured the copy bounced back or something. Then, one bit of bold type saying "this line is good but should be changed to make this clear". And that was it.
Wha? I did it? It's good? All week, and I wrote it in five minutes??
Granted, that was after a week of a lot of learning, what a curve. But that's all it took, one go for broke email, wow.
FADE OUT
From the get-go I wasn't liking the concept of having to put 110 pages onto one page. Seems sort of, er, uh, degrading? Maybe not quite, but close.
Provided with an example of how this should look, I tore into it, keys blazing, then burned to a halt. Where was all the whitespace I needed? Do I have to use commas? They take up space too!
The more I snipped off words, the worse it got, and every one-page I sent the reader came back with questions all over it, such as "he, as in him, or the other guy?" Damn.
So, like a puzzle, I just shifted, things around, and snipped, but I don't think you're supposed to use scissors when puzzle pieces don't fit!
Frustrated after the fifth attempt, and wondering if the local "Waffle House" is hiring, I tore into a blank email page and wrote the sixth one-page, not caring how long or how many words, tossing all of my lines and notes from before, then hit "send". That's basically a writer's version of suicide, I don't even think I proof-read it I was so pissed off.
Hours later, I heard the email sound "ding" and wasn't sure what to do. In one way, knowing how this would crash, I just wanted to get get it over with. The other way, what if there was a miracle?
I opened, and there wasn't any writing, no corrections, I figured the copy bounced back or something. Then, one bit of bold type saying "this line is good but should be changed to make this clear". And that was it.
Wha? I did it? It's good? All week, and I wrote it in five minutes??
Granted, that was after a week of a lot of learning, what a curve. But that's all it took, one go for broke email, wow.
FADE OUT
Friday, November 20, 2009
EXPERIENCE VS SKILL
If you had to choose one as a screenwriter, which would it be? If you had to write a CSI script, would you rather be a writer that had never been on a crime scene but has research at hand, or a cop with twenty years of experience in smelling blood and covering up body parts with white sheets?
There's a lot to be said for both sides of that, without the knowledge of proper structure and a good story vast descriptions of crime scenes just become another version of "COPS", might as well just take the camera along, who needs a script?
And, staring at the black and white with plot in mind doesn't really give us the sense of what blood smells like on the crime scene, and if there's a way to put that smell into words it would be in our best interest to try to convey it.
Actors are known for their research, even more than writers, who probably do more of it, but we'd rather hear about Russell Crowe in a fight training camp learning moves for "Gladiator" than the writer who studied the romans to put this all in proper technical context.
There's a balance out there, and I believe everyone can use their life experience in their script.
In the end, it's up to us to decide what we write about.
There's a lot to be said for both sides of that, without the knowledge of proper structure and a good story vast descriptions of crime scenes just become another version of "COPS", might as well just take the camera along, who needs a script?
And, staring at the black and white with plot in mind doesn't really give us the sense of what blood smells like on the crime scene, and if there's a way to put that smell into words it would be in our best interest to try to convey it.
Actors are known for their research, even more than writers, who probably do more of it, but we'd rather hear about Russell Crowe in a fight training camp learning moves for "Gladiator" than the writer who studied the romans to put this all in proper technical context.
There's a balance out there, and I believe everyone can use their life experience in their script.
In the end, it's up to us to decide what we write about.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
BRASS BRADS
So, yesterday I went on a search for some brass brads since I'll be doing another round of printing scripts. My obvious choice was to go to "Office Depot", or is it "Office Max", because we only have one of the two and they start with the same name and look like twins. Whatever.
In I go and spot "fasteners" listed on one of the aisle boards, would have to be there, right? Staples, clips, key rings... anything but brads. I search every aisle.
Finally, a lady takes me back to the fastening aisle and shows be a small cylinder of brads, where usually there's a giant rivet head there was a small piece that looked the size of an eraser tip. Great, not.
I ended up online, you can forget the ACCO's in a smaller city. This town even has a Facebook page trying to urge Target to build here. Geesh.
Looks like I'll be getting most of my goods over the web, for scripts, and from Target.
In I go and spot "fasteners" listed on one of the aisle boards, would have to be there, right? Staples, clips, key rings... anything but brads. I search every aisle.
Finally, a lady takes me back to the fastening aisle and shows be a small cylinder of brads, where usually there's a giant rivet head there was a small piece that looked the size of an eraser tip. Great, not.
I ended up online, you can forget the ACCO's in a smaller city. This town even has a Facebook page trying to urge Target to build here. Geesh.
Looks like I'll be getting most of my goods over the web, for scripts, and from Target.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
WINGMAN
A bit shaken here, because someone didn't know what a "wingman" is, in the 21st century dating sense. I mean, I think it gets pretty common usage on T.V. and film, I've heard it a lot of times, what better way to decribe the relationship?
Therein lies my prob, because this is going on a "one-page", a synopis, and every word counts, the space runs out real quick. I can't really think of a term in one word that serves me better than wingman.
On the other hand, maybe people are sick of the term anyway, perhaps it's been overused?
Nope.
"MILF" gets old, "cougar" is making the rounds but still not fully accepted and is evolving into "puma". "Tool", has been recently challenged: although made of metal, dumber than a bucket of sand, or a rock, a tool, such as a wrench, is a very useful item, and that's not the intent of labeling someone as such.
Dating buddy? Nah... how about "partner in crime"? Kind of, but, no..."partner"? Nooo, "partner" when speaking of two males has a totally different meaning nowadays, which is good, and why we use "wingman".
Long live the wingman!
Therein lies my prob, because this is going on a "one-page", a synopis, and every word counts, the space runs out real quick. I can't really think of a term in one word that serves me better than wingman.
On the other hand, maybe people are sick of the term anyway, perhaps it's been overused?
Nope.
"MILF" gets old, "cougar" is making the rounds but still not fully accepted and is evolving into "puma". "Tool", has been recently challenged: although made of metal, dumber than a bucket of sand, or a rock, a tool, such as a wrench, is a very useful item, and that's not the intent of labeling someone as such.
Dating buddy? Nah... how about "partner in crime"? Kind of, but, no..."partner"? Nooo, "partner" when speaking of two males has a totally different meaning nowadays, which is good, and why we use "wingman".
Long live the wingman!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
WGA REGISTRATION
Last night, after knowing my script would need only one more PDF proof-read, I went to the WGAW (Writer's Guild of America, West) site and registered my screenplay. Drum roll, please --
WGAW Registration# 1394440
Yep, for twenty bucks, I filed my screenplay in Hollywood, right over the internet. For an accomplished screenwriter this might be more of a nuisance than glory. But for me, and many other craft virgins, this marks a moment in time where we've created something worth protecting, and the WGA gives us the right to do so.
One-hundred and four days ago, I didn't know ANYTHING about screenwriting, zilch! That's when I thrust myself into training, spending every day and hour I could to learn the craft, mostly over the internet...no, I mean ALL of it over the internet, for free. I dug through all the good and the bad, at first not even knowing how to disseminate it.
But my online mentors have served me well. And, believe it not, be happy or snarky, but I've been asked for a hard copy of my script from "someone who matters". If all checks out, it goes on to their Hollywood agent. If not, there will be an edit, then onwards.
Donald Trump says "think big", and I did. I've gotten this far. My next goal is to have something in production by next year, and in this profession that just might be a longshot, but so far I've been beating some odds.
Get out there with me, "thinkin' big", the first hurdle to getting over this thing is yourself and completing that stack of script.
Good luck, and...
FADE OUT
WGAW Registration# 1394440
Yep, for twenty bucks, I filed my screenplay in Hollywood, right over the internet. For an accomplished screenwriter this might be more of a nuisance than glory. But for me, and many other craft virgins, this marks a moment in time where we've created something worth protecting, and the WGA gives us the right to do so.
One-hundred and four days ago, I didn't know ANYTHING about screenwriting, zilch! That's when I thrust myself into training, spending every day and hour I could to learn the craft, mostly over the internet...no, I mean ALL of it over the internet, for free. I dug through all the good and the bad, at first not even knowing how to disseminate it.
But my online mentors have served me well. And, believe it not, be happy or snarky, but I've been asked for a hard copy of my script from "someone who matters". If all checks out, it goes on to their Hollywood agent. If not, there will be an edit, then onwards.
Donald Trump says "think big", and I did. I've gotten this far. My next goal is to have something in production by next year, and in this profession that just might be a longshot, but so far I've been beating some odds.
Get out there with me, "thinkin' big", the first hurdle to getting over this thing is yourself and completing that stack of script.
Good luck, and...
FADE OUT
Monday, November 16, 2009
CURBING SEINFELD
Last night, over red wine and T.V., I was pretty wowed by Larry David's "Curb Your Enthusiasm" episode of the "Seinfeld" reunion. Oh sure, it was funny, that's expected. What was truly interesting was watching the cast in rehearsal.
The first "read" was at an elongated rectangular table, with Jerry and "George" and the usual cast, surrounded by writers and producers. An A.D. or someone would call out, setting up the scene, and then off they would go, into the dialogue. They didn't skip a beat, and everyone felt free to laugh -- a lot of fun.
Next, they were on the set, which faithfully reproduced Jerry's familiar New York apartment. The actors went through the motions, script in hand, as positioning tweaks were worked out.
Later, Larry and Jerry are at a dry-erase board in an office, with an outline of the script, highlighting certain jokes and the action. It's pretty amazing to watch Jerry Seinfeld work, it's definitely his true calling. In fact, had they aired this as the final episode of "Seinfeld", the show would have went out on a much better note.
As a whole, it's just stunning how much work the actors put into their craft. I have to say they're under-rated, especially by some of us writers.
Catch it on HBO!
The first "read" was at an elongated rectangular table, with Jerry and "George" and the usual cast, surrounded by writers and producers. An A.D. or someone would call out, setting up the scene, and then off they would go, into the dialogue. They didn't skip a beat, and everyone felt free to laugh -- a lot of fun.
Next, they were on the set, which faithfully reproduced Jerry's familiar New York apartment. The actors went through the motions, script in hand, as positioning tweaks were worked out.
Later, Larry and Jerry are at a dry-erase board in an office, with an outline of the script, highlighting certain jokes and the action. It's pretty amazing to watch Jerry Seinfeld work, it's definitely his true calling. In fact, had they aired this as the final episode of "Seinfeld", the show would have went out on a much better note.
As a whole, it's just stunning how much work the actors put into their craft. I have to say they're under-rated, especially by some of us writers.
Catch it on HBO!
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