Saturday, March 13, 2010

FRIEND, FAN, OR AUDIENCE?

With the evolution of "social networking" and changes in very traditional protocols, I feel it is necessary to outline some of the distortion of roles in this phenomenon. In plain english, I'm going to call "bullshit" on a bunch of it, with help from an online dictionary.

FRIEND -- "A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts".
To disappoint Facebook, and many of its users, their term for "friend" does not meet this definition. Most of us do not "know" our Facebook "friends". If you don't "know" someone, it would be strange to "trust" them, you may however "like" something they do or say, and that might make you a...

FAN -- "An ardent devotee; an enthusiast".
Definitely a case of "liking" someone or something without having the comittment of friendship. I'm a "fan" of Jason Reitman's work, such as "Juno" or "Up in the Air", but he's not my "friend", and I don't even "like" him personally since the "Turner - Reitman Stolen Screenwriting Credit Debacle", but I'm a "fan" of his work, which makes me part of his...

AUDIENCE -- "The devotees or followers of a public entertainer, lecturer, etc.; regular public"
In Reitman's case, I'm paying and investing time to be part of his "audience", as I trust his work and that it will be satisfying. There seems to be an agenda connected to "audience" -- one is either trying to sell something, promote an idealism, market their abilities, share their story. There is usually a form of self-gratification involved for the person taking center stage -- the desire to be applauded, recognized for their efforts, or the feeling that they have helped others.

My point in all of this -- "friends" should not have to serve as an "audience". If you invite your true friends to your recital, that is different, and fine in my book. "Fans" are not "friends", they can become friends if you get to know them and gain their trust, but it's a two-way street, it takes an investment on your part too.

This observation comes from a "friend" thinking I've become an "audience" or "fan", which is not true, so I've notified them that there's no redeeming quality to their one-sided communications, I have other things to do than root for them (so weird because they're not even promoting a product or anything worthwhile, they seem to need a fanbase for their life).

Likewise, to every clerk at Starbucks trying to push their instant "VIA" product on me, explaining I could save a trip by making my own at home -- I go there because my dog likes to sit outside and meet people. I'm not a "friend, fan, or audience" of Starbucks, my dog likes your patio, and you could be selling mud, for all he cares.

To a few blogs I've followed for almost a year -- somehow I could show up and post and you couldn't take the time to post on mine, which is just common courtesy. It shows that you think I'm a "fan" and there's no reason to respond or trade the gesture. Good luck with that.

Shout out to Sarah Z., who not only has provided meaningful blog content, but has exchanged posts with mine, and through our online work together has definitely gained my trust and let me get to know her, meeting the definition of "friend". I'm also a "fan" of her work, and I hope to be in the "audience" when her film makes the cut.

I'm taking inventory, looking out for any "friends" who think I'm their "audience", I really don't have the need for it, you shouldn't either.

3 comments:

  1. Thank you soooo much, Brian. :) I feel flattered. *blushes* ;)

    Good point you made there! I'm part of a social network named "StudiVZ". I have many "friends" listed who were my former classmates, but I think the word "friend" is totally overrated on the net.

    I think the first network making a difference is Twitter, calling them "followers".

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  2. This is SUCH a worthy topic for a blog post, because it is my observation that many many people seem to be confused. I almost lol'd at your facebook reference, because some of the people listed as my "friends" there are far from it. In fact, I have to monitor what I include on my facebook page in an effort to prevent those people from knowing too much about me.

    And isn't it weird when people you used to go to high school with try to "reconnect" when you were never even friends with them in the first place? I want to ask them exactly what it is they're trying to salvage, but then I'd sound incredibly snotty so I usually keep my thoughts to myself. Thanks for providing a safe place for me to vent. ;-)

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  3. Wow! Great post! Sorry to just now be getting around to reading it. Being a 24/7 caretaker has taken it's toll on my blogging.

    I actually just "de-friend-ed some people on facebook for some of the reasons you mentioned. ;-)

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