Wednesday, December 30, 2009

2010 "CLUNKER" SCRIPT LAUNCH

Launching into 2010, I figured it's time to finally unleash the campaign for my "CLUNKER" movie script. Here's what it entails --

*Script -- 110 pages of rom-com funniness that might bring a tear to your eye, or so I hope!
*Inktip -- a listing on inktip.com, which I'm not so enthusiastic about right now, but it's worth a shot for the price.
*Video -- which depicts the opening scene and my mission -- to get "CLUNKER" recognized through every alternative method possible.
*Facebook -- a "fan" page for the script / movie, complete with videos, graphics, my fake posters for the film, a "Discussions" tab where fans can cast their favorite actors for roles in the film, and a chance for FANS to win a three-night trip to Mexico if the screenplay is ever produced.
*Movieset -- yep, we're on Movieset.com, too!
*Networking -- with actors and other industry types, which is going surprisingly well.

It's all worth a shot, and doing more for my screenplay than it would sitting in a dark drawer. Check out the vid for a laugh!





If you enjoyed that, PLEASE become a Facebook FAN on this page, you just have to click at the top of the page, and it makes you eligible for the FREE TRIP TO MEXICO!

IF you want a copy of the script for your own reading pleasure, just go to Facebook, sign up as a FAN, and then also FAN on Movieset (links below), contact me at BrianBurkeB@gmail.com and I will send you your very own copy! It's that easy!

Thanks all, wishing you and yours the best in 2010!---Brian Burke
CLICK HERE FOR OUR "CLUNKER" FB page! WE NEED YOU AS A FAN!!!
CLICK HERE FOR OUR "MOVIESET" PAGE!

Monday, December 28, 2009

SLEEP DEPRIVED ACTORS

Marketing my script lately, I've run across a lot of actors. Ironically enough, when you look at the film industry and the entire process -- to get a film from an idea, to screenplay, to greenlight, filming, post, and then distribution -- it all has very little to do with actors.

In the "pre" process, the only attention an actor will get is if they are tagged as an "element", meaning they are slated to be in the film, passionate about the script, owe a production company or writer a favor. Getting an actor as an element is one way to set the wheels in motion, and a surefire way for a screenwriter to have better hopes at being produced.

But back to the poor actors. Yes, I said "poor actors". They get no attention, when they do, it's in the form of an unpaid audition that surely eats up their day. Should they be one of the lucky few, they arrive early on set, often in a foreign land, desert, whatever location is essential to the shoot. They often work long hours in terribly hot or cold conditions, relegated to the situation by an often crabby director, who might care less about acting and more about a shooting schedule.

It seems actors don't get much sleep. If they have a name it's not uncommon that they shoot all day or night, only to get off work and buzz off to a charity event or obligatory social situation. Ever hear of a big-name actor not showing for an event?

FADE IN:

EXT. HOLLYWOOD - RED CARPET - NIGHT

JOHN TESH strokes the airwaves as an announcer for this televised event. MARY HART keeps her vaseline-toothed smile locked on John as he introduces guests.

JOHN TESH
And what a lovely night for such a gala.

MARY HART
Lovely night!

JOHN TESH
Aww, and who's this? None other than Angelina Jolie, in a lovely Marchesa gown, at that!

MARY HART
Angelina, lovely, Marchesa--

JOHN TESH
And I'm sure we'll see Brad Pitt bring up the rear--

John stops mid-sentence. Cupping his ear monitor, he wrinkles his forehead.

JOHN TESH
What's that? Folks, we regret to inform you that Brad Pitt has taken the night off... okay, yes... seems he had a long day at the studio, and... "Noxzema", their latest adopted child, has an earache... yes, he's taking a personal day off.

MARY HART
Oh, that Noxzema, such a sweet child! Best wishes Brad, if you're watching!

FADE OUT

Wouldn't make sense, would it? Well, this holiday, here's a shout out to actors, I hope you're getting plenty of sleep!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

X-MAS X 2?

We should do Christmas more often. I'm not one for out of season, pre-Christmas sales, I still don't understand where it became "law" to announce all the deals and start decorating on Thanksgiving, but to those who enjoy it, fine. And by every New Year's, I'm quite over Christmas, "out with the old, in with the new", we need to move on.

But as for Christmas eve, and the day itself, I'm all for it. People slow down and think, for once. They take inventory of what's important or special. Many reach out and do kind acts. Volunteers across the country feed the homeless, donate gifts and goods to needy children.

I'm all for Hannukah, Kwanzaa, Ramadan -- anything in the season with people celebrating, making a sacrifice, reflecting on things -- it's just plain good for the human spirit, and I hope other rites and religions continue to gain exposure as time goes by, it's interesting, and we can always stand to learn from others.

Christmas is film day! That means "Up in the Air" goes nationwide! I've never spent Christmas in the theater, so this will be a first. It's been a long wait, and the film has gotten several nominations and rave reviews. Clooney will definitely be enjoying his Christmas, if he celebrates.

Whatever you celebrate, whatever you do, I wish you a "merry" moment... let's maybe schedule one of these next summer as well?
;-)== "Ho-ho-ho!"

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

HOW PRESIDENT OBAMA STOLE MY SUGGESTION - PART II

As explained in THIS POST, I wrote a letter asking government officials to consider my ideas concerning a hiring incentive for employers in order to create new jobs.

Keep in mind, I'm non-partisan, I just want the right thing to be done, people need jobs. Nearly 80% of our government's money comes from our taxes, without workers, those numbers are fading.

Local SC congressmen and reps had responded within a month, a reasonable amount of time. Many of the republican reps pointed out that they had supported such a bill, but were shot down earlier this year. "The google" is not helping me find that fact anywhere.

In the end, EVERYONE responded, except for the office of GOP rep Michael Steele, a person who had, in fact, impressed me with his take on us needing to "create jobs, not just work." It's unfortunate that everyone else could respond, yet a "lesser known" type couldn't have an email auto-responder with a form letter.

At the beginning of October, nearly sixty days after my send, The Whitehouse responded. I was shocked, as I had given up hope by then. They sent their obvious form email letter, but I was impressed at how it included links to job resources. This simple act, what was available to every rep who responded, but eluded their thoughts, lent a more caring attitude to the form letter.

Now, the shocker.

A few days after receiving response from President Obama's team, my wife sent a link to this article, just announced, saying how the party was considering a tax incentive based on hiring. Did Obama steal my idea? Impossible, as the concept is not new, they had bounced around talk of lowering the payroll tax in pre-election euphoria.

BUT, imagine, writing on the topic, not hearing for sixty days, and when you do get contacted, a few days later the party is holding court and announcing their grand ideas, specific to your topic?

Maybe it's a coincidence, or maybe their email to me was a small suggestion of a "thanks for writing", or bringing up this subject?

The point I'm making here -- every bit counts, the slightest bit of activism can help change the course. If you, or a friend or family member, has lost a job, are suffering economically from the recession, have gotten a new job but work for way less than you did before, then you should speak up. We're on the front lines here, it makes sense for us to be reporting on it.

Things are NOT changing, the "good old days" are not creeping in without reason, it's not going to happen. Every service and sales business has suffered, along with their employees, largely due to the housing market hoax that made for a blissful part of 2000 that we are all now paying hell for.

Every employer is looking to reduce costs, nobody with common sense would hire without dire need, it's all about strapping down. Unless the gov comes through with a great plan, this situation will hold pattern, for years, maybe even a decade.

Please take a minute of your time and write The Whitehouse like I did. Tell them, from the heart, what you are dealing with, your fears, what you, friends, and family are going through because there isn't a single person unaffected by this situation.

You matter! Thanks!
CLICK HERE TO WRITE TO PRESIDENT OBAMA

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

HOW PRESIDENT OBAMA STOLE MY SUGGESTION

Dear readers, as explained in previous posts, part of my "job" is that of a political columnist for local papers. Below is a letter that I wrote, in early August of 2009, concerning unemployment, and urging our government to create incentives for employers to hire. This was sent to SC reps, as well as Congress, the Senate, GOP rep Michael Steele -- any email address I could find which seemed applicable -- and finally, to the Whitehouse, to President Barack Obama.

What will follow in further posts is shocking, if not unbelievable, or cynically, all too believable. Giving all parties involved almost five months to act was my gift of the benefit of doubt, now it's time to "out" it. Stay tuned!


Dear (applicable title and name),

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, job losses from April to June of 2009 averaged 436,000 per month. Their website also explains that payroll employment has fallen 6.5 million since December 2007.

The Tax Policy Center (taxpolicycenter.org) shows that in the 2008 fiscal year 45% of the government's revenue came from the individual income tax and an additional 36%was derived from payroll taxes. That is a stunning 81% of our country's revenue at least somewhat related to employment.

The only way to increase revenue is to raise taxes or create more jobs. Unemployment is putting a big dent in the retail sales and housing market. Without expendable cash, and people saving more than ever due to the recession, sales are down. Manufacturers and other business owners are losing their customers, in turn reducing costs by downsizing their work force or closing, creating more job losses. Employers are simply not hiring.

Unemployment also affects contributions into Social Security. I have yet hear hear how the severe job losses will affect this program.

There is currently no government incentive for a business to retain or hire an employee. The employers cover wages, salaries, and their part in the payroll tax as well as any additional benefits offered. With every job loss we are missing government revenue and the possibility to boost retail sales and business growth. Better sales and growth usually creates new jobs.

In pre-election debates there was a mention of the possibility of lowering the payroll tax. It could be one of the best incentives for employers to hire or retain workers. If we were to lower the tax by "x" amount for each employed individual, it would, of course, mean lost revenue for the government during that limited time period. In contrast, if we do nothing, we will continue to miss out on the potential taxes that the unemployed workforce could be supplying.

In our nearby city of Greenville, 12,000 applicants showed up last month for a job fair at the Haywood Mall. There were only 500 positions available.

Doing nothing gives us a surefire loss. A cut in taxes or a new incentive for employers might motivate them to retain or hire, put a few dollars extra into the benefactor's pocket, possibly increasing business sales and profits.

It's our choice. We can sit and do nothing and take the losses, or we can introduce a chance. I ask you to please start a dialogue in Washington concerning a "hiring incentive" program for employers.

Kind regards,
Brian Burke

Sunday, December 20, 2009

UPDATE -- 2010 KNOCKS ON THE DOOR!

2010 is coming up fast, time for a new set of screenwriting goals. It's been a productive year -- learning the craft, completing and marketing my first screenplay, my "How to Write a Script / Screenplay" being posted and twittered by several visitors who I am more than grateful for.

I've learned a lot about the industry in a short amount of time, it's been the most productive period of unemployment in my life. Which is just another reason for you to write your own screenplay, when times are slow, staring at the clock does no good.

So, without further delay, here's the 2010 goals --
*"How to Write a Screenplay" series -- reformat, polish, and upload as a PDF, making it easier for visitors to access and use.
*"CLUNKER" -- this is the current script I'm marketing. I set heights very high by wanting to have it in production before 2011. It's a lotto and a crapshoot, wish me luck!
*Second and third scripts -- second is in a rewrite / polish, third is a treatment right now. Both need to be finished before spring, I can do that.
*Nicholl Awards -- I'll be entering at least one screenplay by the deadline, and maybe "Blue Cat" competition as well.
*Move -- we have to get out of this place, for several reasons, most are on the sidebar at right. Possibilities are Charleston, Atlanta, Houston, or L.A.
*Job -- I need one. Should you be interested in hiring, here's what I offer --

*instruction in decorative artistry (faux finishes, murals, special plasters) and how to establish and operate your own small business. In the realm of small business and marketing, I specialize in training people to run their business on a budget directed towards a target audience that wants your product or service.

*web design -- websites, blogs, Facebook, domains, visitor analytics, search engine optimization, graphics, logos, html, flash, animations, video. Whether you need to get your product or service on the internet, or have an existing site that needs more traffic, I can design something that is easy to navigate and loads quick.

*writing -- articles about specific issues or products, proofreading of material, web moderation about any topic mentioned above, notes on your script - screenplay, script development of an idea you have.

As a whole, I'm a very disciplined and dedicated individual who can be passionate and communicative about your project, whatever it may be. I can give you a "flat rate" on anything, meaning you know how much you will be paying, up front.

Now that pitch is over, maybe you're motivated to write your own goals for 2010? Feel free to share in our comments section!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

READY FOR LAUNCH

Before I fully unleash my guerilla marketing campaign for my script, there are a few things I would like to explain, for myself, and for anyone in doubt.

I recently posted on the fact that screenwriters need to brand themselves, it's unfortunate, but good writing alone doesn't cut it. Of course, the brand itself will not sell a script, but it does make you memorable should your black and white copy get into the hands of "someone important". This is a fast moving business where someone is all too quickly forgotten.

Screenwriters seem to get obsessed with the thought that someone is going to steal their idea. It's almost a form of self-flattery to think that our idea is so great that people will be going to such great lengths and risk to steal it. The fact is that cases involving copyright infringement are usually that of professionals stealing on their level, not delving into the unkown resources of spec script writers. If you want to steal, you take the risk by stealing from someone sucsessful, you knock off the biggest bank, not the small, unkown, town bank with no security guards and little money.

Reading a recent article of how screenwriters "made it", one common factor was apparent -- a person was met, by chance, and months or years later there was another chance meeting with the same, and this evolved into a solid contact with someone else. What does this mean? In my book, "be seen twice", and it doesn't even have to be in person. Get noticed, twice, in whatever way possible, and then cultivate that. For me, the campaign I am executing relies on that factor -- branding and visibility.

My screenplay is accessible online, and I have no fear of anyone stealing it (see the reasons above). I'm not putting it on "triggerstreet.com" or "simplyscripts.com" because that's not my target audience -- hobby readers and writers, at least for the moment. It is available on two "reputable" sites of the profession. Currently, it's hard enough to get someone to read your logline or synopsis, let alone the whole script.

Query letters are sad, a lot end up in the can, the response is very slow, and when you do get the greenlight to send in a script it gets in the hands of an all too commonly untrusted reader. I think there are lots of "good" readers out there, but what may satisfy the reader is not always what satisfies a prodco and vice-versa. It's time for change.

Still, it seems the best shot at getting noticed is being branded and by winning a reputable screenwriting competition. A sure way to waste your time and money is by entering the majority of unreputable screenwriting competitions that make a profit off of the entries. There are six or less very reputable contests.

Blogs -- are good to have, especially for branding and visibility. It's one of the ways to showcase your voice and discipline. But, all too many of these electronic diaries spewing with filth and bad attitudes are a dead giveaway that the author is not someone that professionals would want to work with in the industry. It's proven that you have to be a professional -- punctual, concise, diplomatic, and trustworthy, to make it in this industry.

I welcome your thoughts.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

KITTY RESCUE PART 3

Last night Caesar the dog and I drove in an hour of fog in hopes of rescuing the third and last kitty. We did it! "Blitzen", "lightning" in German, is aptly named because he or she was the hardest catch. But, within thirty minutes, this solid black kitty was in the live trap and on the way to reuniting with the siblings in our lower level.




All three are resting comfortably, eating well, using the litter box. This morning during feeding they came right out in front of me and ate. Eventually I'll just put the food in my lap and they'll have to come and get it.


I thought Blitzen was the leader, turns out it's the runt, smaller than the other two, most talkative, and even approached and smelled my hand. What a cutie!

All in all it cost me a tank of gas, nerves, some time -- and I feel like it was the best thing I've done in 2009. I thank my Lovely Wife, blog friends, and best friend Dave for their support; the posts, calls, texts, and emails really gave me great confidence during the adventure. And Caesar the dog, of course. My buddy is always by my side and he's a rescue dog that rescues!

This holiday month I ask you to please help an animal in need. These kittens are happy now, they're not struggling in the cold, searching for food, dodging cars in a drive-thru. Cats and dogs are domesticated animals not indigenous to this country.

PLEASE help a little friend in need this month, they will appreciate it. Here are some suggestions, every little bit counts!

*Donate dog or cat food to a local animal shelter (they usually prefer basic dry food, tan in color). Call your ASPCA, Humane Society, or other shelter and ask what they are in need of.

*Visit a shelter and walk a pet, give them a good "scratchy", just talk to them.

*Adopt a pet. A dog is a big responsibility, especially if it is a puppy. Cats are very self-sufficient. Please only adopt if you can have the pet inside and have the time and money to care for it.

*Feed a stray. If you know of an area where stray pets gather and need food, please leave some for them. If you do this over time they will befriend you.

*Defend a suffering pet. Is there a person on your street who is not feeding or housing a pet properly? You can make an anonymous call to authorities and they will act. You might be the only voice for this suffering animal, please stand up for their rights!

*Donate, online or in person. Most shelters are in need.

There is a concern about donating to "kill" shelters. Last year this area alone put down 5000 animals because they do not have the room to house them. It's ashame, worse maybe, is the suffering these pets endure in improper environments. The best way to prevent this is through spaying and neutering. If you or a friend have been putting this off, please act this month!

Somewhere out there is a little buddy who wants and appreciates your help. Please don't leave it up to others -- ACT NOW!

PLEASE forward this to a friend, every bit counts! THANKS!

Monday, December 14, 2009

KITTY RESCUE PART 2

So, as described yesterday, three black kitties, maybe ten weeks old, were living around a McDonald's trash dumpster an hour away from here. This morning I headed out with all my cat-trapping gear and faithful rescue dog, Caesar, at my side.

I was nervous on the drive up. I feared seeing three black spots on the highway upon arrival. Not the case, thank god. But, my jitters were more justifified than I knew -- I had just hopped out of the van, searching for the kittens, and low and behold a fat guy, 30's, crewcut, comes up to me. Here it is in script form --

Brian scouts the dumpster area of McD's and a place called "Clock" or something, whose drive-thru is adjacent to all of this. A fat guy approaches, apparently annoyed.

FAT GUY
What are you doing?

BRIAN
(easy-going)
Oh, hi there, seen any kittens running around here?

FAT GUY
(still with his asshole tone)
Yeah, why?

BRIAN
Well, I uhh, we noticed them the other day, looked like they would be run over, so I brought my stuff to catch them and give them a good home and all.

FAT GUY
Cats been here for years, we like them. You're not taking all of them. You need to come back at night anyway.

BRIAN
Well, I uhh... I live far away, drove over an hour to get here--

FAT GUY
No, you need to come back at night, we want the cats here anyway.

BRIAN
Oh yeah, cats are good, they kill the rats.

FAT GUY
(super-wide eyed)
Rats? Oh no, no rats here, we don't have rats.

At which point I just figured out that numb-nuts here is a cook, and I'm implying they have rats, beyond the fact that they are facilitating having wild animals on the property, etc.

I acted as if I was leaving, he went into the back door of the place, and I set up shop. Before I knew it, two black kitties were coming out of the bushes. I got them with the live trap, one at a time, had to string the door because they don't weigh enough to set off the trip plate.

The first one, "Donner" (thunder in German) was not happy at all when I went for the transfer to the kitty carrier. Thank god for thick gloves. This all took place in the back of my van, doors closed, smart move.

The next, "Comet", was more more calm, I figure it's a female. She did fine with the transfer.

And still, we had a third black kitty MIA. He's the smart one, the dodgy and conniving one, too smart for the trap it seems. I waited it out but he went to crash in the bushes, full. I have to wait until he's hungry again to trap him.

So, we headed back, just released the kitties into the basement. Wanted to get them into Caesar's big kennel but they had other plans. Next on the agenda is socializing them enough to get them checked for any diseases.

I'm heading back for the third one tonight or tomorrow.

Sunday, December 13, 2009

ATLANTA TRIP & KITTY RESCUE

The weekend was spent traveling to civilization -- Atlanta this time. Malls, bookstores, people -- wow. It didn't even dawn on us that the place would be nuts with Christmas shoppers.

Screenwriting related, the only thing "BORDERS" had was "Screenwriting for Dummies", and I'm beyond that by now, could have used it 100 days ago though, lol.

And, "BLOOMINGDALES" might want to take the security tag off Lovely Wife's cashmere sweater before they bag it and we find out 200 plus miles later. So, that saga will continue, not sure if a local store can undo that tag or what.

But the biggest news -- three kittens, black ones, running around a dumpster at McDonalds at "25" and the toll road, an hour from here. We pulled in for a pit stop and saw this black kitty looking up at us, next to a cinder block wall that encases the trash area. A lady and her five year old daughter, in a PT Cruiser, were chasing the cats around the structure, trying to catch them. On foot, not in the car, lol.

I told them to stop, there's tons of traffic in the area. I also said the lady should call the Humane Society, and she returned with a dummified look and left. Good. So I called Greenville H.S., and of course, they're closed on weekends. Huh? When do people adopt, or need a pet saved? Usually weekends.

We stopped by to check on the cats on the way back, I had left food and water, which was gone of course. Saw all three, left a ton of food, water, a box with a rag in it hidden in the hedges where they frolic.

Tomorrow, Caesar the dog and I will head up with the live trap, wet food, towels, rope -- all my cat-trapping gear and knowledge. I'm confident, but wild cats are smart, even when only eight weeks old. We'll give it our best shot, stay tuned!

Friday, December 11, 2009

SCREENWRITER BRAND

The odds have proven that you have to do more than write well to make it in the screenwriting business. Dustin Lance Black was a gay activist even before writing "MILK". Shane Black was an actor before even being considered as a writer. Diablo Cody was a stripper who published a blog about it, among other smart moves she made. Yes, most screenwriters in the past few years have had to invent ways to stand out, or at least use what they had to get their big break.

I don't suggest jumping off a building, we discussed that before. But, you have to brand yourself, maybe not through one simple act, but you have to create an enticing brand that will make people, especially prodcos, take notice.

Draw on your past -- what are you known for? What is your true profession? Do you excel at some odd interest, worthy of noting? Fact is, it's going to be easier to put a brand together based on existing qualities. If you are a bowler with a consistent 200-plus average, you need to include bowling in a script, that's catchy. Teacher? Then that should be in some aspect of your best script as well.

Don't just put the script in a drawer and send queries -- it's not enough, I'm sorry to say. Work on your brand and make it unique, make us take notice.

My brand? I'm an unemployed art instructor who was forced into a career change in a recession, just like the main character in my best script. I write about "real life", in specific, the recession and economy, because I live it, like so many. I coined the genre "e-comedy", meaning a comedy in which the poor economy takes a defining role. "Up in the Air", a recent release about a hatchet-man downsizing companies, could be defined as an "e-comedy".

I am a political columnist for a local paper. I started this career with a blog and a challenge to complete a screenplay in ninety days, having no knowledge of the craft (I completed two in the time frame). All of my training has been through online resources, I spent twelve hours a day, every day during those ninety days learning online and writing my scripts.

I am in the process of building and unleashing a campaign behind my script that has never been attempted. If it fails or not isn't the question, the point is that I'm doing it and that it's never been done.

Brand yourself, writers, work with what you have, set a goal for something new, and go for it!

FADE OUT

Thursday, December 10, 2009

ONE IN FIFTY-THOUSAND CHANCE

Hi screenwriters and fans thereof, let's talk about something -- the screenplay lotto. Yep, it's a lotto. Unconfirmed sources say that nearly fifty-thousand screenplays were sent to Hollywood last year. That would be 1000 for every state, figuring many come in from other countries, the estimates are not odd. Quite frankly, they suck!

And, being in or around the trade, you know that half of what is passed around or sent out is not in proper format or structure and maybe should not have been written in the first place. So, generously, let's cut our figure down -- our odds are 1 in 25,000 now. So chances are we can sell a screenplay before we will ever get hit by lightning or win the lotto. Good odds, eh? I know, not really.

We could start a blog, right? Well, yes, and no. Maybe there's a "one in how many" shot to get known through this. It is, however, a good place to practice writing, network so maybe you'll have a friend who can offer crash space when you get to L.A.?

There's guerilla tactics -- the naked cowboy screenwriter, maybe B.A.S.E. jumping with your script in hand, in front of news media... and the police. No thanks, I value my life, and lack of police record.

A novel, that's it! For some reason screenwriters don't write novels from their scripts, very rare. And weird, figuring self-publishing is basically free online now. I mean, if you have a great story, wouldn't you try every way possibly to convey it, including putting it into a novel?

Don't let it get you down. Pull up your script and re-read it for fun, damn you did good! Remember writing that line? Remember when a friend chuckled when you said you could write a screenplay? How about that "FADE OUT" at the end, now that was a moment you'll never forget!

You've got your script. You should frame the title, keep a copy on your desk, tag it in your posts, maybe spray-paint the title on a boxcar (umm, please reference that thing about the police first!).

Sure, send queries, do your blog thing, tell your friends, but most of all, never lose your love for your script, keep that sucker close to your heart. It's something you made, nobody can ever take it away and mess it up... unless you're "signed", and that's a good problem to have!

FADE OUT

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

SCRIPT COMPETITION

Julie Gray of "Just Effing Entertain Me" has another one-page script competition on her site. The three words that had to be used were -- Aztec, eggnog, and felicity (that was a fun google search, NOT!)

The story had to have a beginning, middle and end. Here's my entry.

"AZTEC ATHEIST" by Brian Burke

FADE IN:

INT. THIRD GRADE ART CLASS - DAY

Where you spent younger years -- round stools, tables. Senior substitute teacher, MR. MUDGE, holds court.

MR. MUDGE
...something out of clay, for Christmas, or Kwanzaa, or what.

No Kwanzaa projects here, looks pretty much W.A.S.P. -- except for JADE. She sports a goth look, black nails. Jade's hand shoots up, eager look in her eye, a smile.

JADE
What if you're an Aetheist?

Mr. Mudge loses color, clears his throat, fakes a smile.

MR. MUDGE
Umm-- then make a gift of no religious significance, okay?

She nods, satisfied with the P.C. answer.

DISSOLVE TO:

Jade forms the rim of a clay cup, indents a repeat pattern with a pen. Mr. Mudge gazes over her shoulder.

MR. MUDGE
Why that's a cup for your eggnog!

JADE
Nope, a gift for one of my dads.

MR. MUDGE
Dads?

JADE
Yep, he likes sangria.

MR. MUDGE
Oh. It looks very... Spanish!

JADE
Aztec. Pre-Columbian felicity.

MR. MUDGE
Aztec?? Ohhh, yes, the Aztec!!

Mr. Mudge sneaks to a shelf of encyclopedias. He spies the "A" book, peeks back to Jade. She quickly looks down, as if she didn't notice. Mudge snatches the book.

FADE OUT

Sunday, December 6, 2009

MOVIE REVIEW: THE ROCKER

THE ROCKER is about a middle-aged drummer who joins his nephew's band, living out his dream of rock stardom twenty years late.

RAINN WILSON, who you know as "Dwight" from "The Office", is great in this flick, coming across as a believable drummer who was kicked out of his 1980's hair band. Two decades later, on his last dime, he rooms up with his sister's family.

His nephew's band needs a drummer, of course, and when Wilson is unknowingly filmed drumming naked in a steamy cellar, the video goes viral on youtube and the band becomes an overnight sensation.

TEDDY GEIGER plays the lead singer and songwriter and in real life that's exactly what he is. Damn good actor too.

EMMA STONE is the bassist, she even learned to play the instrument for the part.

CHRISTINA APPLEGATE is Teddy's mom, perfectly cast.

Plenty of SNL alumni appear in bit parts.

This film got a bad rap, unfairly being compared to "School of Rock". Critics killed it at the box office, it ranked as one of the lowest for 2008.

Too bad, because it's a great work. It's funny, fast moving, kids as well as their parents can love it. It was never boring, out of context -- it is definitely "feel good" and nothing is wrong with that. Check the satellite, it's worth your time.

Check out RAINN WILSON'S "SOUL PANCAKE" WEBSITE!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

THE SOUND OF SILENCE

Psst! You hear that? No? Listen closely... you hear it, right? It's called "silence", screenwriters get very familiar with it. We usually crave it, especially when we're writing, or in a thought, it can be our best friend. Many of us seek it out, venturing to the basement, backyard, a shady hotel down the road -- anywhere we can get the peace and quiet to start tapping out "INT." and "EXT." in black fonts over white pages.

Then it turns into our worst enemy.

The last sound we hear is the "thud" of query letters dropping into the black hole of a mailbox. From that moment on, silence is no longer our friend. We check the mail everyday, keep looking at our cell phone, have friends call us back to see if it's working, email ourselves -- we're trying to watch a pot come to boil, and as we watch, it never will.

We can't avoid the madness.

In between, we delve into the next script, rewrite, or blog post like this, keeping one eye on the mail truck as it pulls up and stuffs the box with junk mail, bills, and anything else except a response from Hollywood.

The silent killer -- silence.

Friday, December 4, 2009

TRAVELING SCRIPT

Julie Gray, multi-talented scribe and reader, host of "JUST F*ING ENTERTAIN ME", had a recent post about her travels. She hit Israel, Egypt, Jordan, and Ecuador in one month, for different reasons. In Ecuador she taught a writing class to a group of students.

I can't put the story into a nutshell, it's a wonderfully inspiring post about seeing the world and how it opens a different set of eyes (read it at her link above).

What I would like to address is how travel and your life experiences fit into screenwriting. If you're age fifty or so, have grown up in a rural area, and are new to screenwriting, I wouldn't say you need to hit the road for the next few years to gather experiences. You know how people talk, what they do, the quirks -- write your story.

But if you're in the same situation and say, age 20, there's a "road less traveled" ahead, and you can take it, and gain a lot of experiences that will add more to your writing than you could ever learn from watching film or sitting in class.

A lot of kids in Europe are great at this -- they will live in other countries for a few months as exchange students, or go some place with a group of friends. Many hit the road for a year, "jobbing" where they can. It used to be an integral part of an apprenticeship -- as a "Wandergeselle" in Germany you would take to the road for a year, working for other companies within your trade, gathering experience.

As Julie mentions, the feeling of being at an actual armed checkpoint is moving. I can tell you firsthand that it's not as exciting as in the movies, yet so utterly surreal that it's hard to put into words. But if you live it, you'll have a different way to write about it in your film.

Here's to getting out there!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

UPDATE

Hello folks, I've been out of this loop a bit and fully absorbed in promoting my script. I've spent every day and night since Thankgiving on a guerilla campaign to get this script on the big screen.

As reported earlier, I'm up on inktip.com and prodcos are pulling up my logline in their searches. Thought: I need to shorten my logline. 2nd Thought: when you press "info" on your T.V. the logline is right before your eyes, so I've been channel surfing to check them out, good excercise.

Someone said writing the script is only 1/3 the battle, the rest is promoting it. I can firmly say that writing it turns out to be maybe ten percent of the work, because the rest of this makes writing look easy! I'm game though, I'll do everything it takes.

On the agenda: some query letters -- hey, if you happen to work for FOX SEARCHLIGHT, need any favors? Can I wash your car, paint a room or something? LOL?

AND, my guerilla campaign, which is so innovative and top secret, I can't share it until it is unleashed. It's one of a kind, never been done, and I've been meticulously planning the method since my intro to screenwriting.

Stay tuned because I promise it will deliver! It's on a thirty day plan, soon to be released!