2010 "CLUNKER" SCRIPT LAUNCH

Launching into 2010, I figured it's time to finally unleash the campaign for my "CLUNKER" movie script. Here's what it entails --

*Script -- 110 pages of rom-com funniness that might bring a tear to your eye, or so I hope!
*Inktip -- a listing on inktip.com, which I'm not so enthusiastic about right now, but it's worth a shot for the price.
*Video -- which depicts the opening scene and my mission -- to get "CLUNKER" recognized through every alternative method possible.
*Facebook -- a "fan" page for the script / movie, complete with videos, graphics, my fake posters for the film, a "Discussions" tab where fans can cast their favorite actors for roles in the film, and a chance for FANS to win a three-night trip to Mexico if the screenplay is ever produced.
*Movieset -- yep, we're on Movieset.com, too!
*Networking -- with actors and other industry types, which is going surprisingly well.

It's all worth a shot, and doing more for my screenplay than it would sitting in a dark drawer. Check out the vid for a laugh!





If you enjoyed that, PLEASE become a Facebook FAN on this page, you just have to click at the top of the page, and it makes you eligible for the FREE TRIP TO MEXICO!

IF you want a copy of the script for your own reading pleasure, just go to Facebook, sign up as a FAN, and then also FAN on Movieset (links below), contact me at BrianBurkeB@gmail.com and I will send you your very own copy! It's that easy!

Thanks all, wishing you and yours the best in 2010!---Brian Burke
CLICK HERE FOR OUR "CLUNKER" FB page! WE NEED YOU AS A FAN!!!
CLICK HERE FOR OUR "MOVIESET" PAGE!

SLEEP DEPRIVED ACTORS

Marketing my script lately, I've run across a lot of actors. Ironically enough, when you look at the film industry and the entire process -- to get a film from an idea, to screenplay, to greenlight, filming, post, and then distribution -- it all has very little to do with actors.

In the "pre" process, the only attention an actor will get is if they are tagged as an "element", meaning they are slated to be in the film, passionate about the script, owe a production company or writer a favor. Getting an actor as an element is one way to set the wheels in motion, and a surefire way for a screenwriter to have better hopes at being produced.

But back to the poor actors. Yes, I said "poor actors". They get no attention, when they do, it's in the form of an unpaid audition that surely eats up their day. Should they be one of the lucky few, they arrive early on set, often in a foreign land, desert, whatever location is essential to the shoot. They often work long hours in terribly hot or cold conditions, relegated to the situation by an often crabby director, who might care less about acting and more about a shooting schedule.

It seems actors don't get much sleep. If they have a name it's not uncommon that they shoot all day or night, only to get off work and buzz off to a charity event or obligatory social situation. Ever hear of a big-name actor not showing for an event?

FADE IN:

EXT. HOLLYWOOD - RED CARPET - NIGHT

JOHN TESH strokes the airwaves as an announcer for this televised event. MARY HART keeps her vaseline-toothed smile locked on John as he introduces guests.

JOHN TESH
And what a lovely night for such a gala.

MARY HART
Lovely night!

JOHN TESH
Aww, and who's this? None other than Angelina Jolie, in a lovely Marchesa gown, at that!

MARY HART
Angelina, lovely, Marchesa--

JOHN TESH
And I'm sure we'll see Brad Pitt bring up the rear--

John stops mid-sentence. Cupping his ear monitor, he wrinkles his forehead.

JOHN TESH
What's that? Folks, we regret to inform you that Brad Pitt has taken the night off... okay, yes... seems he had a long day at the studio, and... "Noxzema", their latest adopted child, has an earache... yes, he's taking a personal day off.

MARY HART
Oh, that Noxzema, such a sweet child! Best wishes Brad, if you're watching!

FADE OUT

Wouldn't make sense, would it? Well, this holiday, here's a shout out to actors, I hope you're getting plenty of sleep!

X-MAS X 2?

We should do Christmas more often. I'm not one for out of season, pre-Christmas sales, I still don't understand where it became "law" to announce all the deals and start decorating on Thanksgiving, but to those who enjoy it, fine. And by every New Year's, I'm quite over Christmas, "out with the old, in with the new", we need to move on.

But as for Christmas eve, and the day itself, I'm all for it. People slow down and think, for once. They take inventory of what's important or special. Many reach out and do kind acts. Volunteers across the country feed the homeless, donate gifts and goods to needy children.

I'm all for Hannukah, Kwanzaa, Ramadan -- anything in the season with people celebrating, making a sacrifice, reflecting on things -- it's just plain good for the human spirit, and I hope other rites and religions continue to gain exposure as time goes by, it's interesting, and we can always stand to learn from others.

Christmas is film day! That means "Up in the Air" goes nationwide! I've never spent Christmas in the theater, so this will be a first. It's been a long wait, and the film has gotten several nominations and rave reviews. Clooney will definitely be enjoying his Christmas, if he celebrates.

Whatever you celebrate, whatever you do, I wish you a "merry" moment... let's maybe schedule one of these next summer as well?
;-)== "Ho-ho-ho!"

HOW PRESIDENT OBAMA STOLE MY SUGGESTION - PART II

As explained in THIS POST, I wrote a letter asking government officials to consider my ideas concerning a hiring incentive for employers in order to create new jobs.

Keep in mind, I'm non-partisan, I just want the right thing to be done, people need jobs. Nearly 80% of our government's money comes from our taxes, without workers, those numbers are fading.

Local SC congressmen and reps had responded within a month, a reasonable amount of time. Many of the republican reps pointed out that they had supported such a bill, but were shot down earlier this year. "The google" is not helping me find that fact anywhere.

In the end, EVERYONE responded, except for the office of GOP rep Michael Steele, a person who had, in fact, impressed me with his take on us needing to "create jobs, not just work." It's unfortunate that everyone else could respond, yet a "lesser known" type couldn't have an email auto-responder with a form letter.

At the beginning of October, nearly sixty days after my send, The Whitehouse responded. I was shocked, as I had given up hope by then. They sent their obvious form email letter, but I was impressed at how it included links to job resources. This simple act, what was available to every rep who responded, but eluded their thoughts, lent a more caring attitude to the form letter.

Now, the shocker.

A few days after receiving response from President Obama's team, my wife sent a link to this article, just announced, saying how the party was considering a tax incentive based on hiring. Did Obama steal my idea? Impossible, as the concept is not new, they had bounced around talk of lowering the payroll tax in pre-election euphoria.

BUT, imagine, writing on the topic, not hearing for sixty days, and when you do get contacted, a few days later the party is holding court and announcing their grand ideas, specific to your topic?

Maybe it's a coincidence, or maybe their email to me was a small suggestion of a "thanks for writing", or bringing up this subject?

The point I'm making here -- every bit counts, the slightest bit of activism can help change the course. If you, or a friend or family member, has lost a job, are suffering economically from the recession, have gotten a new job but work for way less than you did before, then you should speak up. We're on the front lines here, it makes sense for us to be reporting on it.

Things are NOT changing, the "good old days" are not creeping in without reason, it's not going to happen. Every service and sales business has suffered, along with their employees, largely due to the housing market hoax that made for a blissful part of 2000 that we are all now paying hell for.

Every employer is looking to reduce costs, nobody with common sense would hire without dire need, it's all about strapping down. Unless the gov comes through with a great plan, this situation will hold pattern, for years, maybe even a decade.

Please take a minute of your time and write The Whitehouse like I did. Tell them, from the heart, what you are dealing with, your fears, what you, friends, and family are going through because there isn't a single person unaffected by this situation.

You matter! Thanks!
CLICK HERE TO WRITE TO PRESIDENT OBAMA

HOW PRESIDENT OBAMA STOLE MY SUGGESTION

Dear readers, as explained in previous posts, part of my "job" is that of a political columnist for local papers. Below is a letter that I wrote, in early August of 2009, concerning unemployment, and urging our government to create incentives for employers to hire. This was sent to SC reps, as well as Congress, the Senate, GOP rep Michael Steele -- any email address I could find which seemed applicable -- and finally, to the Whitehouse, to President Barack Obama.

What will follow in further posts is shocking, if not unbelievable, or cynically, all too believable. Giving all parties involved almost five months to act was my gift of the benefit of doubt, now it's time to "out" it. Stay tuned!

Dear (applicable title and name),

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, job losses from April to June of 2009 averaged 436,000 per month. Their website also explains that payroll employment has fallen 6.5 million since December 2007.

The Tax Policy Center (taxpolicycenter.org) shows that in the 2008 fiscal year 45% of the government's revenue came from the individual income tax and an additional 36%was derived from payroll taxes. That is a stunning 81% of our country's revenue at least somewhat related to employment.

The only way to increase revenue is to raise taxes or create more jobs. Unemployment is putting a big dent in the retail sales and housing market. Without expendable cash, and people saving more than ever due to the recession, sales are down. Manufacturers and other business owners are losing their customers, in turn reducing costs by downsizing their work force or closing, creating more job losses. Employers are simply not hiring.

Unemployment also affects contributions into Social Security. I have yet hear hear how the severe job losses will affect this program.

There is currently no government incentive for a business to retain or hire an employee. The employers cover wages, salaries, and their part in the payroll tax as well as any additional benefits offered. With every job loss we are missing government revenue and the possibility to boost retail sales and business growth. Better sales and growth usually creates new jobs.

In pre-election debates there was a mention of the possibility of lowering the payroll tax. It could be one of the best incentives for employers to hire or retain workers. If we were to lower the tax by "x" amount for each employed individual, it would, of course, mean lost revenue for the government during that limited time period. In contrast, if we do nothing, we will continue to miss out on the potential taxes that the unemployed workforce could be supplying.

In our nearby city of Greenville, 12,000 applicants showed up last month for a job fair at the Haywood Mall. There were only 500 positions available.

Doing nothing gives us a surefire loss. A cut in taxes or a new incentive for employers might motivate them to retain or hire, put a few dollars extra into the benefactor's pocket, possibly increasing business sales and profits.

It's our choice. We can sit and do nothing and take the losses, or we can introduce a chance. I ask you to please start a dialogue in Washington concerning a "hiring incentive" program for employers.

Kind regards,
Brian Burke

UPDATE -- 2010 KNOCKS ON THE DOOR!

2010 is coming up fast, time for a new set of screenwriting goals. It's been a productive year -- learning the craft, completing and marketing my first screenplay, my "How to Write a Script / Screenplay" being posted and twittered by several visitors who I am more than grateful for.

I've learned a lot about the industry in a short amount of time, it's been the most productive period of unemployment in my life. Which is just another reason for you to write your own screenplay, when times are slow, staring at the clock does no good.

So, without further delay, here's the 2010 goals --
*"How to Write a Screenplay" series -- reformat, polish, and upload as a PDF, making it easier for visitors to access and use.
*"CLUNKER" -- this is the current script I'm marketing. I set heights very high by wanting to have it in production before 2011. It's a lotto and a crapshoot, wish me luck!
*Second and third scripts -- second is in a rewrite / polish, third is a treatment right now. Both need to be finished before spring, I can do that.
*Nicholl Awards -- I'll be entering at least one screenplay by the deadline, and maybe "Blue Cat" competition as well.
*Move -- we have to get out of this place, for several reasons, most are on the sidebar at right. Possibilities are Charleston, Atlanta, Houston, or L.A.
*Job -- I need one. Should you be interested in hiring, here's what I offer --

*instruction in decorative artistry (faux finishes, murals, special plasters) and how to establish and operate your own small business. In the realm of small business and marketing, I specialize in training people to run their business on a budget directed towards a target audience that wants your product or service.

*web design -- websites, blogs, Facebook, domains, visitor analytics, search engine optimization, graphics, logos, html, flash, animations, video. Whether you need to get your product or service on the internet, or have an existing site that needs more traffic, I can design something that is easy to navigate and loads quick.

*writing -- articles about specific issues or products, proofreading of material, web moderation about any topic mentioned above, notes on your script - screenplay, script development of an idea you have.

As a whole, I'm a very disciplined and dedicated individual who can be passionate and communicative about your project, whatever it may be. I can give you a "flat rate" on anything, meaning you know how much you will be paying, up front.

Now that pitch is over, maybe you're motivated to write your own goals for 2010? Feel free to share in our comments section!

READY FOR LAUNCH

Before I fully unleash my guerilla marketing campaign for my script, there are a few things I would like to explain, for myself, and for anyone in doubt.

I recently posted on the fact that screenwriters need to brand themselves, it's unfortunate, but good writing alone doesn't cut it. Of course, the brand itself will not sell a script, but it does make you memorable should your black and white copy get into the hands of "someone important". This is a fast moving business where someone is all too quickly forgotten.

Screenwriters seem to get obsessed with the thought that someone is going to steal their idea. It's almost a form of self-flattery to think that our idea is so great that people will be going to such great lengths and risk to steal it. The fact is that cases involving copyright infringement are usually that of professionals stealing on their level, not delving into the unkown resources of spec script writers. If you want to steal, you take the risk by stealing from someone sucsessful, you knock off the biggest bank, not the small, unkown, town bank with no security guards and little money.

Reading a recent article of how screenwriters "made it", one common factor was apparent -- a person was met, by chance, and months or years later there was another chance meeting with the same, and this evolved into a solid contact with someone else. What does this mean? In my book, "be seen twice", and it doesn't even have to be in person. Get noticed, twice, in whatever way possible, and then cultivate that. For me, the campaign I am executing relies on that factor -- branding and visibility.

My screenplay is accessible online, and I have no fear of anyone stealing it (see the reasons above). I'm not putting it on "triggerstreet.com" or "simplyscripts.com" because that's not my target audience -- hobby readers and writers, at least for the moment. It is available on two "reputable" sites of the profession. Currently, it's hard enough to get someone to read your logline or synopsis, let alone the whole script.

Query letters are sad, a lot end up in the can, the response is very slow, and when you do get the greenlight to send in a script it gets in the hands of an all too commonly untrusted reader. I think there are lots of "good" readers out there, but what may satisfy the reader is not always what satisfies a prodco and vice-versa. It's time for change.

Still, it seems the best shot at getting noticed is being branded and by winning a reputable screenwriting competition. A sure way to waste your time and money is by entering the majority of unreputable screenwriting competitions that make a profit off of the entries. There are six or less very reputable contests.

Blogs -- are good to have, especially for branding and visibility. It's one of the ways to showcase your voice and discipline. But, all too many of these electronic diaries spewing with filth and bad attitudes are a dead giveaway that the author is not someone that professionals would want to work with in the industry. It's proven that you have to be a professional -- punctual, concise, diplomatic, and trustworthy, to make it in this industry.

I welcome your thoughts.

KITTY RESCUE PART 3

Last night Caesar the dog and I drove in an hour of fog in hopes of rescuing the third and last kitty. We did it! "Blitzen", "lightning" in German, is aptly named because he or she was the hardest catch. But, within thirty minutes, this solid black kitty was in the live trap and on the way to reuniting with the siblings in our lower level.




All three are resting comfortably, eating well, using the litter box. This morning during feeding they came right out in front of me and ate. Eventually I'll just put the food in my lap and they'll have to come and get it.


I thought Blitzen was the leader, turns out it's the runt, smaller than the other two, most talkative, and even approached and smelled my hand. What a cutie!

All in all it cost me a tank of gas, nerves, some time -- and I feel like it was the best thing I've done in 2009. I thank my Lovely Wife, blog friends, and best friend Dave for their support; the posts, calls, texts, and emails really gave me great confidence during the adventure. And Caesar the dog, of course. My buddy is always by my side and he's a rescue dog that rescues!

This holiday month I ask you to please help an animal in need. These kittens are happy now, they're not struggling in the cold, searching for food, dodging cars in a drive-thru. Cats and dogs are domesticated animals not indigenous to this country.

PLEASE help a little friend in need this month, they will appreciate it. Here are some suggestions, every little bit counts!

*Donate dog or cat food to a local animal shelter (they usually prefer basic dry food, tan in color). Call your ASPCA, Humane Society, or other shelter and ask what they are in need of.

*Visit a shelter and walk a pet, give them a good "scratchy", just talk to them.

*Adopt a pet. A dog is a big responsibility, especially if it is a puppy. Cats are very self-sufficient. Please only adopt if you can have the pet inside and have the time and money to care for it.

*Feed a stray. If you know of an area where stray pets gather and need food, please leave some for them. If you do this over time they will befriend you.

*Defend a suffering pet. Is there a person on your street who is not feeding or housing a pet properly? You can make an anonymous call to authorities and they will act. You might be the only voice for this suffering animal, please stand up for their rights!

*Donate, online or in person. Most shelters are in need.

There is a concern about donating to "kill" shelters. Last year this area alone put down 5000 animals because they do not have the room to house them. It's ashame, worse maybe, is the suffering these pets endure in improper environments. The best way to prevent this is through spaying and neutering. If you or a friend have been putting this off, please act this month!

Somewhere out there is a little buddy who wants and appreciates your help. Please don't leave it up to others -- ACT NOW!

PLEASE forward this to a friend, every bit counts! THANKS!

KITTY RESCUE PART 2

So, as described yesterday, three black kitties, maybe ten weeks old, were living around a McDonald's trash dumpster an hour away from here. This morning I headed out with all my cat-trapping gear and faithful rescue dog, Caesar, at my side.

I was nervous on the drive up. I feared seeing three black spots on the highway upon arrival. Not the case, thank god. But, my jitters were more justifified than I knew -- I had just hopped out of the van, searching for the kittens, and low and behold a fat guy, 30's, crewcut, comes up to me. Here it is in script form --

Brian scouts the dumpster area of McD's and a place called "Clock" or something, whose drive-thru is adjacent to all of this. A fat guy approaches, apparently annoyed.

FAT GUY
What are you doing?

BRIAN
(easy-going)
Oh, hi there, seen any kittens running around here?

FAT GUY
(still with his asshole tone)
Yeah, why?

BRIAN
Well, I uhh, we noticed them the other day, looked like they would be run over, so I brought my stuff to catch them and give them a good home and all.

FAT GUY
Cats been here for years, we like them. You're not taking all of them. You need to come back at night anyway.

BRIAN
Well, I uhh... I live far away, drove over an hour to get here--

FAT GUY
No, you need to come back at night, we want the cats here anyway.

BRIAN
Oh yeah, cats are good, they kill the rats.

FAT GUY
(super-wide eyed)
Rats? Oh no, no rats here, we don't have rats.

At which point I just figured out that numb-nuts here is a cook, and I'm implying they have rats, beyond the fact that they are facilitating having wild animals on the property, etc.

I acted as if I was leaving, he went into the back door of the place, and I set up shop. Before I knew it, two black kitties were coming out of the bushes. I got them with the live trap, one at a time, had to string the door because they don't weigh enough to set off the trip plate.

The first one, "Donner" (thunder in German) was not happy at all when I went for the transfer to the kitty carrier. Thank god for thick gloves. This all took place in the back of my van, doors closed, smart move.

The next, "Comet", was more more calm, I figure it's a female. She did fine with the transfer.

And still, we had a third black kitty MIA. He's the smart one, the dodgy and conniving one, too smart for the trap it seems. I waited it out but he went to crash in the bushes, full. I have to wait until he's hungry again to trap him.

So, we headed back, just released the kitties into the basement. Wanted to get them into Caesar's big kennel but they had other plans. Next on the agenda is socializing them enough to get them checked for any diseases.

I'm heading back for the third one tonight or tomorrow.

ATLANTA TRIP & KITTY RESCUE

The weekend was spent traveling to civilization -- Atlanta this time. Malls, bookstores, people -- wow. It didn't even dawn on us that the place would be nuts with Christmas shoppers.

Screenwriting related, the only thing "BORDERS" had was "Screenwriting for Dummies", and I'm beyond that by now, could have used it 100 days ago though, lol.

And, "BLOOMINGDALES" might want to take the security tag off Lovely Wife's cashmere sweater before they bag it and we find out 200 plus miles later. So, that saga will continue, not sure if a local store can undo that tag or what.

But the biggest news -- three kittens, black ones, running around a dumpster at McDonalds at "25" and the toll road, an hour from here. We pulled in for a pit stop and saw this black kitty looking up at us, next to a cinder block wall that encases the trash area. A lady and her five year old daughter, in a PT Cruiser, were chasing the cats around the structure, trying to catch them. On foot, not in the car, lol.

I told them to stop, there's tons of traffic in the area. I also said the lady should call the Humane Society, and she returned with a dummified look and left. Good. So I called Greenville H.S., and of course, they're closed on weekends. Huh? When do people adopt, or need a pet saved? Usually weekends.

We stopped by to check on the cats on the way back, I had left food and water, which was gone of course. Saw all three, left a ton of food, water, a box with a rag in it hidden in the hedges where they frolic.

Tomorrow, Caesar the dog and I will head up with the live trap, wet food, towels, rope -- all my cat-trapping gear and knowledge. I'm confident, but wild cats are smart, even when only eight weeks old. We'll give it our best shot, stay tuned!

SCREENWRITER BRAND

The odds have proven that you have to do more than write well to make it in the screenwriting business. Dustin Lance Black was a gay activist even before writing "MILK". Shane Black was an actor before even being considered as a writer. Diablo Cody was a stripper who published a blog about it, among other smart moves she made. Yes, most screenwriters in the past few years have had to invent ways to stand out, or at least use what they had to get their big break.

I don't suggest jumping off a building, we discussed that before. But, you have to brand yourself, maybe not through one simple act, but you have to create an enticing brand that will make people, especially prodcos, take notice.

Draw on your past -- what are you known for? What is your true profession? Do you excel at some odd interest, worthy of noting? Fact is, it's going to be easier to put a brand together based on existing qualities. If you are a bowler with a consistent 200-plus average, you need to include bowling in a script, that's catchy. Teacher? Then that should be in some aspect of your best script as well.

Don't just put the script in a drawer and send queries -- it's not enough, I'm sorry to say. Work on your brand and make it unique, make us take notice.

My brand? I'm an unemployed art instructor who was forced into a career change in a recession, just like the main character in my best script. I write about "real life", in specific, the recession and economy, because I live it, like so many. I coined the genre "e-comedy", meaning a comedy in which the poor economy takes a defining role. "Up in the Air", a recent release about a hatchet-man downsizing companies, could be defined as an "e-comedy".

I am a political columnist for a local paper. I started this career with a blog and a challenge to complete a screenplay in ninety days, having no knowledge of the craft (I completed two in the time frame). All of my training has been through online resources, I spent twelve hours a day, every day during those ninety days learning online and writing my scripts.

I am in the process of building and unleashing a campaign behind my script that has never been attempted. If it fails or not isn't the question, the point is that I'm doing it and that it's never been done.

Brand yourself, writers, work with what you have, set a goal for something new, and go for it!

FADE OUT

ONE IN FIFTY-THOUSAND CHANCE

Hi screenwriters and fans thereof, let's talk about something -- the screenplay lotto. Yep, it's a lotto. Unconfirmed sources say that nearly fifty-thousand screenplays were sent to Hollywood last year. That would be 1000 for every state, figuring many come in from other countries, the estimates are not odd. Quite frankly, they suck!

And, being in or around the trade, you know that half of what is passed around or sent out is not in proper format or structure and maybe should not have been written in the first place. So, generously, let's cut our figure down -- our odds are 1 in 25,000 now. So chances are we can sell a screenplay before we will ever get hit by lightning or win the lotto. Good odds, eh? I know, not really.

We could start a blog, right? Well, yes, and no. Maybe there's a "one in how many" shot to get known through this. It is, however, a good place to practice writing, network so maybe you'll have a friend who can offer crash space when you get to L.A.?

There's guerilla tactics -- the naked cowboy screenwriter, maybe B.A.S.E. jumping with your script in hand, in front of news media... and the police. No thanks, I value my life, and lack of police record.

A novel, that's it! For some reason screenwriters don't write novels from their scripts, very rare. And weird, figuring self-publishing is basically free online now. I mean, if you have a great story, wouldn't you try every way possibly to convey it, including putting it into a novel?

Don't let it get you down. Pull up your script and re-read it for fun, damn you did good! Remember writing that line? Remember when a friend chuckled when you said you could write a screenplay? How about that "FADE OUT" at the end, now that was a moment you'll never forget!

You've got your script. You should frame the title, keep a copy on your desk, tag it in your posts, maybe spray-paint the title on a boxcar (umm, please reference that thing about the police first!).

Sure, send queries, do your blog thing, tell your friends, but most of all, never lose your love for your script, keep that sucker close to your heart. It's something you made, nobody can ever take it away and mess it up... unless you're "signed", and that's a good problem to have!

FADE OUT

SCRIPT COMPETITION

Julie Gray of "Just Effing Entertain Me" has another one-page script competition on her site. The three words that had to be used were -- Aztec, eggnog, and felicity (that was a fun google search, NOT!)

The story had to have a beginning, middle and end. Here's my entry.

"AZTEC ATHEIST" by Brian Burke

FADE IN:

INT. THIRD GRADE ART CLASS - DAY

Where you spent younger years -- round stools, tables. Senior substitute teacher, MR. MUDGE, holds court.

MR. MUDGE
...something out of clay, for Christmas, or Kwanzaa, or what.

No Kwanzaa projects here, looks pretty much W.A.S.P. -- except for JADE. She sports a goth look, black nails. Jade's hand shoots up, eager look in her eye, a smile.

JADE
What if you're an Aetheist?

Mr. Mudge loses color, clears his throat, fakes a smile.

MR. MUDGE
Umm-- then make a gift of no religious significance, okay?

She nods, satisfied with the P.C. answer.

DISSOLVE TO:

Jade forms the rim of a clay cup, indents a repeat pattern with a pen. Mr. Mudge gazes over her shoulder.

MR. MUDGE
Why that's a cup for your eggnog!

JADE
Nope, a gift for one of my dads.

MR. MUDGE
Dads?

JADE
Yep, he likes sangria.

MR. MUDGE
Oh. It looks very... Spanish!

JADE
Aztec. Pre-Columbian felicity.

MR. MUDGE
Aztec?? Ohhh, yes, the Aztec!!

Mr. Mudge sneaks to a shelf of encyclopedias. He spies the "A" book, peeks back to Jade. She quickly looks down, as if she didn't notice. Mudge snatches the book.

FADE OUT

MOVIE REVIEW: THE ROCKER

THE ROCKER is about a middle-aged drummer who joins his nephew's band, living out his dream of rock stardom twenty years late.

RAINN WILSON, who you know as "Dwight" from "The Office", is great in this flick, coming across as a believable drummer who was kicked out of his 1980's hair band. Two decades later, on his last dime, he rooms up with his sister's family.

His nephew's band needs a drummer, of course, and when Wilson is unknowingly filmed drumming naked in a steamy cellar, the video goes viral on youtube and the band becomes an overnight sensation.

TEDDY GEIGER plays the lead singer and songwriter and in real life that's exactly what he is. Damn good actor too.

EMMA STONE is the bassist, she even learned to play the instrument for the part.

CHRISTINA APPLEGATE is Teddy's mom, perfectly cast.

Plenty of SNL alumni appear in bit parts.

This film got a bad rap, unfairly being compared to "School of Rock". Critics killed it at the box office, it ranked as one of the lowest for 2008.

Too bad, because it's a great work. It's funny, fast moving, kids as well as their parents can love it. It was never boring, out of context -- it is definitely "feel good" and nothing is wrong with that. Check the satellite, it's worth your time.

Check out RAINN WILSON'S "SOUL PANCAKE" WEBSITE!

THE SOUND OF SILENCE

Psst! You hear that? No? Listen closely... you hear it, right? It's called "silence", screenwriters get very familiar with it. We usually crave it, especially when we're writing, or in a thought, it can be our best friend. Many of us seek it out, venturing to the basement, backyard, a shady hotel down the road -- anywhere we can get the peace and quiet to start tapping out "INT." and "EXT." in black fonts over white pages.

Then it turns into our worst enemy.

The last sound we hear is the "thud" of query letters dropping into the black hole of a mailbox. From that moment on, silence is no longer our friend. We check the mail everyday, keep looking at our cell phone, have friends call us back to see if it's working, email ourselves -- we're trying to watch a pot come to boil, and as we watch, it never will.

We can't avoid the madness.

In between, we delve into the next script, rewrite, or blog post like this, keeping one eye on the mail truck as it pulls up and stuffs the box with junk mail, bills, and anything else except a response from Hollywood.

The silent killer -- silence.

TRAVELING SCRIPT

Julie Gray, multi-talented scribe and reader, host of "JUST F*ING ENTERTAIN ME", had a recent post about her travels. She hit Israel, Egypt, Jordan, and Ecuador in one month, for different reasons. In Ecuador she taught a writing class to a group of students.

I can't put the story into a nutshell, it's a wonderfully inspiring post about seeing the world and how it opens a different set of eyes (read it at her link above).

What I would like to address is how travel and your life experiences fit into screenwriting. If you're age fifty or so, have grown up in a rural area, and are new to screenwriting, I wouldn't say you need to hit the road for the next few years to gather experiences. You know how people talk, what they do, the quirks -- write your story.

But if you're in the same situation and say, age 20, there's a "road less traveled" ahead, and you can take it, and gain a lot of experiences that will add more to your writing than you could ever learn from watching film or sitting in class.

A lot of kids in Europe are great at this -- they will live in other countries for a few months as exchange students, or go some place with a group of friends. Many hit the road for a year, "jobbing" where they can. It used to be an integral part of an apprenticeship -- as a "Wandergeselle" in Germany you would take to the road for a year, working for other companies within your trade, gathering experience.

As Julie mentions, the feeling of being at an actual armed checkpoint is moving. I can tell you firsthand that it's not as exciting as in the movies, yet so utterly surreal that it's hard to put into words. But if you live it, you'll have a different way to write about it in your film.

Here's to getting out there!

UPDATE

Hello folks, I've been out of this loop a bit and fully absorbed in promoting my script. I've spent every day and night since Thankgiving on a guerilla campaign to get this script on the big screen.

As reported earlier, I'm up on inktip.com and prodcos are pulling up my logline in their searches. Thought: I need to shorten my logline. 2nd Thought: when you press "info" on your T.V. the logline is right before your eyes, so I've been channel surfing to check them out, good excercise.

Someone said writing the script is only 1/3 the battle, the rest is promoting it. I can firmly say that writing it turns out to be maybe ten percent of the work, because the rest of this makes writing look easy! I'm game though, I'll do everything it takes.

On the agenda: some query letters -- hey, if you happen to work for FOX SEARCHLIGHT, need any favors? Can I wash your car, paint a room or something? LOL?

AND, my guerilla campaign, which is so innovative and top secret, I can't share it until it is unleashed. It's one of a kind, never been done, and I've been meticulously planning the method since my intro to screenwriting.

Stay tuned because I promise it will deliver! It's on a thirty day plan, soon to be released!

MOVIE REVIEW: 40 YEAR OLD VIRGIN

Another one you have probably seen but we had to revisit it on the satellite last night. I've read the script a few times, there are some minor changes in the actual movie, mostly for the sake of expediting things or increasing drama, like main character Andy's bicycle accident at the end.

The film is sweet and has a good moral value to it, Steve Carell is fantastic in the role, of course. A Judd Apatow classic including the usuals Seth Rogen, Paul Rudd, and Jud's wife Leslie Mann, who pulls off quite a drunk chick. Romany Malco is the ultimate "playa".

NBC really cut this to pieces, and the whole "safe sex clinic" scene was chopped out, voiding Carell's wife, Nancy Walls, spot.

If you've denied yourself the pleasure, let me help unbunk a few myths -- no, it's not childish, full of poop jokes, or void of storyline. With almost 180 million dollars grossed it earns a respected slot in the annals of Hollywood film, and in your video cabinet or wherever you stash your guilty pleasures.

FORTY YEAR OLD VIRGIN ON WIKI
FORTY YEAR OLD VIRGIN SCRIPT

MOVIE REVIEW: MILK

You've probably seen MILK, being awarded best screenplay and all. I had read the script but saw the film for the first time, last night. Moving picture, it is.

As for structure, the film was so interesting I found myself not even trying to count the changes in acts, I didn't care. Sean Penn does such an amazing job portraying Harvey Milk that I really felt like I was there, no distractions.

Emile Hirsch does an amazing job as well, full into his method. It's one of those movies you google afterwards to read all about, and we did.

Unfortunate is the relatively small box office returns for such an amazing film. Few will have the incentive to shoot something worth the while if this keeps up. It grossed about 60 mill total with DVD sales. Just counting the number of homosexuals in this world one would figure the numbers would be much higher. It's a must see, especially if you are from the G&L community.

By the end my feeling was that Harvey Milk is to the gay community as MLK is to african americans and the civil rights movement. Only the letter "i" separates MLK and Milk. Neither would sit idly by and tolerate ignorance, and they paid the ultimate price in the process.

A lot to be said for that.

INKTIP EXPERIENCE

Yesterday I took $60 and uploaded the script, logline, synopsis and a bio for six months on INKTIP.COM. For the price and length of exposure, I figure it's better than paying an entry fee for a writing contest or two where the odds are just the same.

Inktip now requires a hand-signed contract so I printed theirs and faxed it back. They were quick to approve everything, after my upload it was stamped "pending review" and that went just as quick.

Before I knew it, names of production companies were appearing in my "viewed by" section. But wait a minute, there's a catch -- this doesn't mean they READ your logline, it means that it appeared on a page when they did a search. The same goes for the synopsis, it was "made available", but you don't know if they read it. As for the script, IF there's a download, yes, that is logged, you know it.

Okay, fine, good and dandy, it's just exciting knowing the title appeared anywhere besides my laptop. And it's a lotto, come on, that's half the fun, anticipating hitting it big.

Inktip claims to do "background checks" on the production companies that are subscribers, and when you look at the list there are some big names, like every entity of "FOX". Very cool. Whenever a name appears on the list you naturally hit the Google and IMDB, I did. Within hours I had four names to research.

One prodco puts out a film every few years, had a respectable IMDB listing. One was definitely a brand new company. Another quite rocked, on an international level. And then appeared --

L.A. Feature Film Academy

Hmm. I googled to find it's a film school. They're looking for screenwriters to teach the craft, so maybe that is why they have access? It didn't take long before I was reading very negative posts about this "academy", from their lack of professionalism to their exorbitant class costs and how graduates felt they had been cheated.

For the moment, I'll hold off on contacting inktip to ask about this company and why they are allowed to troll the site. BUT, dare I get one offer, one email, snail-mail brochure about a film school, and I'm going off. I didn't pay $60 to give up my contact for a dubious fake school.

Other than that, my inktip experience is what I expected, so I would endorse it.

CINERGY ERROR

There seems to be a bug in the "Cinergy" program, at least occasionally. When I enter "project setup" and put my contact info in for the title page it repeats the last few letters or digits, such as

555-123-1234 234

Yep, that's the extra "234" up there.

I updated, rebooted, tried it all yet it keeps coming back. If I keep it down to four lines and leave the email address out it works fine though.

A nifty panel popped up when I went to "help" and I entered my email and asked a question. It said that during the week and regular hours my question might be answered within an hour. "Right", I thought.

Low and behold, in an hour I had a response, with the person offering to do a custom page for me from their system. I passed, not wanting to send my script, but Cinergy has impressed me, moreso than maybe Microsoft lately.

For that, they get another link, here CINERGY.

UPDATE: 111 DAYS IN

Hello everybody, just the latest update here, 111 days into screenwriting.

I spent a week on the synopsis for the completed screenplay, which I did the last checks on last night. Hopefully I'll get that on inktip.com before Thanksgiving day, who knows, maybe an exec will get loaded on the holiday and decide to call? LOL.

In other news, I cut off about six inches from my hair, which hadn't been cut since March. No longer will I have to put up with a waiter, approaching from behind, who says "so ladies...umm...and gentleman". Three times. Can you believe it?? You'd think they'd learn to just come up and say "good evening".

And women, you've sure gained some respect about the hair thing, it's hot, hard to wash, hangs in the eyes... most men have no idea.

Since we gave up meat in April (yes that means fish too, can't believe how many people think fish is not meat, it's a protein that reacts to pain, it has a mind) we're going to make a fake "meatloaf" for Thanksgiving using all the usual ingredients and our soy-based meat substitute. Somewhere out there is a lucky turkey thanking us.

The same can't be said for what our dog and cats eat, but hey, we're trying.

Last but not least, my article about the new town slogan of "The Right Size" kicked off massive debate, with a Chamber of Commerce member being quoted as saying "it doesn't matter what people think." The uproar has been amazing.

If you're turkey's not thawing right now, give up, it takes three days!

GEORGE CLOONEY

I mentioned the film "Up in the Air" in THIS POST. Set for a December release, they just started airing the T.V. ads for it this weekend. It was either reviewed or mentioned in my copy of "TIME" magazine, as well as Lovely Wife's "Elle."

Of course the coverage is standard for any upcoming film, whether it's good or not. The difference is this time I'm really taking notice, chomping at the bit to see this movie.

There's Oscar buzz for Clooney, many coming out of the woodwork to say it's his best acting ever. I was never a fan, probably put off by the "E.R." craze that made his name common in every household. I guess I first started taking to him with the "Ocean's" series, then I read a magazine interview with him that made me realize he's quite an "okay" guy -- never condescending to those around him and honestly tries to be his best.

Having watched him in a few more films, he might be great in "Up in the Air" because the writing is so damn good. Face it, if the writing is not moving then the actor's hands are tied.

I'm not taking away from George, nor glorifying the writers, but it's ashame he hasn't been offered better-written roles throughout his career. Sure, he has a long resume, but it will take even more to put his name in with Newman, Brando, and the bunch.

In any case, I'm dying to see it and hoping for a box office smash. If you believe there two kinds of bags for flying: carry-on, and lost, then this film might be for you.

REVIEW: BURN AFTER READING

BURN AFTER READING

Armed with a DVR remote on a Saturday night, Lovely Wife and I perused the latest to see what we could watch and settled on "Burn After Reading". After all, it was a Coen brothers flick with Clooney, Malkovich, Pitt... what could go wrong?

A lot.

I'm not against different formulas, we should all try something new, but this just doesn't work. Here we have an interesting plot, great character traits, unexpected twists, orchestrated in a brilliant little "POOF" of "who cares and why did I waste the time watching it?"

Lovely Wife, who will sit through any movie, she doesn't give up -- felt pretty ripped off by the last five minutes. It's not a matter of a "good" ending or not, or if you just don't understand the director's technique, there's absolutely no payoff and nobody cares, to wait for the end or through another Coen brothers film.

Too many different POV's, the only character we have a chance to get close too is Clooney, who plays "not such a nice guy". A senseless killing at the end tops it off.

To each his own. I'm not even going to google the box office numbers because just being a Coen film with Clooney and Malkovich influences the gross.

So, if you've got some time to waste, go ahead. If not, you might want to use this piece of advice --

"Burn Before Watching"...

Then read a book.

ONE-PAGE SYNOPSIS

I spent one week on one page. No, not one page of the script, that would be a bit much. It was my one page synopsis of the screenplay.

From the get-go I wasn't liking the concept of having to put 110 pages onto one page. Seems sort of, er, uh, degrading? Maybe not quite, but close.

Provided with an example of how this should look, I tore into it, keys blazing, then burned to a halt. Where was all the whitespace I needed? Do I have to use commas? They take up space too!

The more I snipped off words, the worse it got, and every one-page I sent the reader came back with questions all over it, such as "he, as in him, or the other guy?" Damn.

So, like a puzzle, I just shifted, things around, and snipped, but I don't think you're supposed to use scissors when puzzle pieces don't fit!

Frustrated after the fifth attempt, and wondering if the local "Waffle House" is hiring, I tore into a blank email page and wrote the sixth one-page, not caring how long or how many words, tossing all of my lines and notes from before, then hit "send". That's basically a writer's version of suicide, I don't even think I proof-read it I was so pissed off.

Hours later, I heard the email sound "ding" and wasn't sure what to do. In one way, knowing how this would crash, I just wanted to get get it over with. The other way, what if there was a miracle?

I opened, and there wasn't any writing, no corrections, I figured the copy bounced back or something. Then, one bit of bold type saying "this line is good but should be changed to make this clear". And that was it.

Wha? I did it? It's good? All week, and I wrote it in five minutes??

Granted, that was after a week of a lot of learning, what a curve. But that's all it took, one go for broke email, wow.

FADE OUT

EXPERIENCE VS SKILL

If you had to choose one as a screenwriter, which would it be? If you had to write a CSI script, would you rather be a writer that had never been on a crime scene but has research at hand, or a cop with twenty years of experience in smelling blood and covering up body parts with white sheets?

There's a lot to be said for both sides of that, without the knowledge of proper structure and a good story vast descriptions of crime scenes just become another version of "COPS", might as well just take the camera along, who needs a script?

And, staring at the black and white with plot in mind doesn't really give us the sense of what blood smells like on the crime scene, and if there's a way to put that smell into words it would be in our best interest to try to convey it.

Actors are known for their research, even more than writers, who probably do more of it, but we'd rather hear about Russell Crowe in a fight training camp learning moves for "Gladiator" than the writer who studied the romans to put this all in proper technical context.

There's a balance out there, and I believe everyone can use their life experience in their script.

In the end, it's up to us to decide what we write about.

BRASS BRADS

So, yesterday I went on a search for some brass brads since I'll be doing another round of printing scripts. My obvious choice was to go to "Office Depot", or is it "Office Max", because we only have one of the two and they start with the same name and look like twins. Whatever.

In I go and spot "fasteners" listed on one of the aisle boards, would have to be there, right? Staples, clips, key rings... anything but brads. I search every aisle.

Finally, a lady takes me back to the fastening aisle and shows be a small cylinder of brads, where usually there's a giant rivet head there was a small piece that looked the size of an eraser tip. Great, not.

I ended up online, you can forget the ACCO's in a smaller city. This town even has a Facebook page trying to urge Target to build here. Geesh.

Looks like I'll be getting most of my goods over the web, for scripts, and from Target.

WINGMAN

A bit shaken here, because someone didn't know what a "wingman" is, in the 21st century dating sense. I mean, I think it gets pretty common usage on T.V. and film, I've heard it a lot of times, what better way to decribe the relationship?

Therein lies my prob, because this is going on a "one-page", a synopis, and every word counts, the space runs out real quick. I can't really think of a term in one word that serves me better than wingman.

On the other hand, maybe people are sick of the term anyway, perhaps it's been overused?

Nope.

"MILF" gets old, "cougar" is making the rounds but still not fully accepted and is evolving into "puma". "Tool", has been recently challenged: although made of metal, dumber than a bucket of sand, or a rock, a tool, such as a wrench, is a very useful item, and that's not the intent of labeling someone as such.

Dating buddy? Nah... how about "partner in crime"? Kind of, but, no..."partner"? Nooo, "partner" when speaking of two males has a totally different meaning nowadays, which is good, and why we use "wingman".

Long live the wingman!

WGA REGISTRATION

Last night, after knowing my script would need only one more PDF proof-read, I went to the WGAW (Writer's Guild of America, West) site and registered my screenplay. Drum roll, please --

WGAW Registration# 1394440

Yep, for twenty bucks, I filed my screenplay in Hollywood, right over the internet. For an accomplished screenwriter this might be more of a nuisance than glory. But for me, and many other craft virgins, this marks a moment in time where we've created something worth protecting, and the WGA gives us the right to do so.

One-hundred and four days ago, I didn't know ANYTHING about screenwriting, zilch! That's when I thrust myself into training, spending every day and hour I could to learn the craft, mostly over the internet...no, I mean ALL of it over the internet, for free. I dug through all the good and the bad, at first not even knowing how to disseminate it.

But my online mentors have served me well. And, believe it not, be happy or snarky, but I've been asked for a hard copy of my script from "someone who matters". If all checks out, it goes on to their Hollywood agent. If not, there will be an edit, then onwards.

Donald Trump says "think big", and I did. I've gotten this far. My next goal is to have something in production by next year, and in this profession that just might be a longshot, but so far I've been beating some odds.

Get out there with me, "thinkin' big", the first hurdle to getting over this thing is yourself and completing that stack of script.

Good luck, and...

FADE OUT

CURBING SEINFELD

Last night, over red wine and T.V., I was pretty wowed by Larry David's "Curb Your Enthusiasm" episode of the "Seinfeld" reunion. Oh sure, it was funny, that's expected. What was truly interesting was watching the cast in rehearsal.

The first "read" was at an elongated rectangular table, with Jerry and "George" and the usual cast, surrounded by writers and producers. An A.D. or someone would call out, setting up the scene, and then off they would go, into the dialogue. They didn't skip a beat, and everyone felt free to laugh -- a lot of fun.

Next, they were on the set, which faithfully reproduced Jerry's familiar New York apartment. The actors went through the motions, script in hand, as positioning tweaks were worked out.

Later, Larry and Jerry are at a dry-erase board in an office, with an outline of the script, highlighting certain jokes and the action. It's pretty amazing to watch Jerry Seinfeld work, it's definitely his true calling. In fact, had they aired this as the final episode of "Seinfeld", the show would have went out on a much better note.

As a whole, it's just stunning how much work the actors put into their craft. I have to say they're under-rated, especially by some of us writers.

Catch it on HBO!

MAKE YOUR OWN FILM

Do you believe in your story? The script that you toiled over, day and night, or maybe just on weekends because you're paying the bills with that full-time job? How far will you go to see it on the screen? I know, completing it is task enough, and printing that much paper and drilling holes can be a daunting duty, but is that enough?

And then there's the query letter -- face it, you could spend hundreds and hundreds of hard-earned dollars in SASE's and envelopes alone, there's postage, the cost to print them. Easily they come out to one dollar per, but where do they go, in a producer's trash can (we hope they're recycling all that paper!)?

I've decided to give this script one year after launch, meaning, if it's not picked up by then I'm filming it myself. Yes, suddenly the "hotel" scene will be in my own backyard. Airport? No problem, the parking lot of a local terminal, I don't care, I'm shooting it. If I have to do the damn thing with an animation program or stick figures, whatever it is, the crude characters will be delivering my lines.

Then I'll "youtube" it, and pester whoever I can, face it, two stick figures with good action and dialogue beats most of what is uploaded into that cesspool on a daily basis anyway.

Maybe nobody will care, perhaps I'll get kicked off "youtube" for using a U-2 album as the soundtrack. But I'll make that film, that's the goal here, and anything else is icing on the cake.

But it wouldn't hurt if Fox Searchlight picked it up!

HANGOVER

No, I don't have one, lol, I was talking about the movie. It had a $40 million budget and current returns are $460 million. That's half a billion! That's enough, probably to buy Michigan, well, not all of it, but at least the city of Detroit, and then you'd have to spend another half-billion to "flip" it. Good problem to have I guess, spending that kind of money.

I haven't seen "Hangover", that's not what the post is about. What interests me moreso, are the numbers. It had a June release date, that tells me it's a good date to go with: start of the summer, kids are out of school.

I can't find the rating, but I'm guessing PG-13? Kids know how to sneak around all of this, not a factor.

Ed Helms and that asian guy from "Community" are actors in it, that would have some draw. But c'mon, Meryl Streep has a big fan base, face it -- they could have had a street performer act some of this out.

The name doesn't hurt, everyone knows what a hangover feels like, it's short and catchy. Generally, a hangover is not perceived as good, so name your screenplay something like "Nauseous" and you might have a chance.

In any case, the DVD has not released yet, so be prepared to double their take. AND -- guess what? Hangover II is scheduled to shoot October, 2010, for a Memorial Day 2011 release.

Looks like Warner Brothers will be buying Detroit and the rest of the state, and with California's problems, they might be moving the studios there too.

Prepared to be hungover.

FADE OUT

POOR SCRIBES

Oh, the poor, downtrodden scribes! Pity the souls of thee who embark on such a wretched journey, with pen or laptop in hand, strolling unwittingly to their own execution!

90% of writers come at me with this crap, lol.

I've learned five different professions in my life, not including all the trades that I know one helluva lot about, and could easily hang tough with some of the best in, like drywalling (which translated means "torture".) In all my trials and tribulations of learning and working in these occupations, I never once heard so many negative things as I have from writers.

"Hollywood is...", "oh, but don't be fooled, executives don't...", etc., and what was your point? Oh, that succeeding in something is difficult? I'd agree. Ohhh, no, you mean -- succeeding in screenwriting is real difficult, like ueber-extraordinary-difficult, like the toughest, most grueling, pitiful, and damning thing that the world can offer?

I doubt it. No, correction, I know for a fact it's not true.

Really difficult, for example, is the life of a roofer. I have very limited experience in the sector, but I have stood on a wet roof long enough to know that what stands between a roofer and death is a slip on rain-soaked tarpaper, and a fifteen foot fall. Don't believe me? Google "roofer died", and you'll have a new appreciation for whatever your job is, unless you're an iron-worker, up on a beam.

But the scribes would say that's the life of a roofer. To which I reply that rejection and lack of success are part of being a writer -- get over it, and quit whining and telling us how hard it is, we don't care.

But I don't feel like stopping there, I want to give the scribes the old "one-two", I'm going to knock them in their whiny egos --

"You're all judgmental".

Hehe, yep, writers are judgmental, they stereotype like living hell, they have to, it's demanded in their trade. For the unfamiliar, there are these things called "character traits" that a writer must adhere to. These will reflect how your character walks, talks, where they vacation -- so the audience can judge how the character will react.

"That's out of character" means that you created a roofer, who might look and talk the way you think a roofer looks and talks like, but he's smarter than his client character who is a screenwriter.

I know what you're thinking: if he's so smart he wouldn't be a roofer. Therein lies your bad judgment.

To you, dear writer, a roofer is just like a doorman or any other stereotype you write into a script. And you and Hollywood can help reinforce this attitude with the way you write and cast for different nationalities, because we all know the stereotypical tactics you'll use. You'll either go along with the judgmental values, or try to make the character the exact opposite of what is considered the "norm" for their race.

So, scribes, try getting over that. You tried ruining my week with your bull of apathetic funk, I saved it all up and gave you a "whippen" to think about.

Have a good weekend!

FADE OUT

SOUNDS IN A SCRIPT

Hey y'all, (so they say down here) just a note to tell you that I'm in the process of diving into a serious marketing campaign. Stay tuned.

Meanwhile feast your eyes on produced screenwriter Esther Luttrell's great tips on whether or not to capitalize SOUNDS in your script!

http://www.estherluttrell.net/Sound-in-a-script.html

ACTION!

I just took a journey through the unexplained, or moreso, explained for the first time. Nobody explained it, maybe I'm still trying to figure it out --

Action - Description lines.

Sure, I was describing the action, no prob there, and in the least amount of words possible, as advised by the pro-readers. The problem is, that is choppy, clinical -- there's nothing artistic or creative about it at all. I was moving my mannequins around the room.

Crack open a produced script and you'll see some awfully strange yet interesting action lines, such as:

He exhaled, as if to say "you bet your ass."

What? That's allowed?

Apparently so, and better than the way I put it:

He exhaled.

CHARACTER
You bet your ass.

There's the mannequin in me, I guess.

What ensued was a total rewrite of overthinking the game, I started using adverbs and other things I hadn't introduced before. Didn't help.

A mentor suggested "just write your story", actually two of them said that. Well, I've done that, and it is a very strong structure and plot, all the other things I hear writers battling with came out really good for me.

Except action lines, I guess, like now --

He types away - quick to finish.
He's typing as fast as he can.
He's typing his post, but thinking about breakfast.

Something like that.

FADE OUT

NEXT FLOOR: DOUBT

INT. ELEVATOR - DAY

Crowded, elbow to elbow. "Packed like sardines" becomes a term you can empathize with. A short REDHEADED FEMALE, in a doorman's cap and jacket, pokes a button on the panel -- it lights up.

The slight g-force jerks the box upwards, suddenly the thought of the floor dropping out becomes a welcome idea -- at least you'd be out of this hell-hole of breathy passengers, who are probably transmitting the flu to you at this very moment.

Kill me or set me free -- just get it f'n over!

Our capped guide turns her head -- it's KATHY GRIFFIN. We feel the urge to call her Kathy Griffith, just to watch her flip-out.

KATHY GRIFFIN
Next floor: "Doubt."

WTF? "Doubt" is a floor, you're thinking? Can't wait to see this.
Gravity halts us, the doors WHIRR open, robotically.

We see several SCRIBES of all genders and colors -- a BLACK MAN does a good Eddy Murphy imitation while pitching to a fat, condescending PRODUCER.

BLACK MAN
How was that one?

PRODUCER
Hmm, no, show me something else, something good -- flesh it out, like Eddy Murphy is doing Madea, but she's sexy, not fat, but kind of sounds like Whitney Houston.

BLACK MAN
What the f--

They're interrupted by a writer dressed like William Shakespeare -- no, that's actually WILLIAM F'N SHAKESPEARE!! He goes up to the producer, gets in his face, pretty aggressive for a guy who's so well-respected.

SHAKESPEARE
You, my friend, whilst in the process of judging others, in all thine--

Thank god he's interrupted, because even though you're supposed to love his work, fact is, you just can't stand all that "whilst" and "thine" crap, fess up.

Oh, almost forgot to mention that he's been interrupted by KIM, of the Real Housewives of Atlanta, who is being chased by Ne Ne, both on hooker-heels and doused in that glitter-crap, that only a hooker or cougar would have on.

KIM
(off key)
Tardy-for-the party, oh, uh-uh, ohhh, don't be...

NE NE
C'mere, Ki-yam, I'ma throw you some shade -- and a left hook, ya biy-otch.

Nobody dares step off the elevator's abyss.

KATHY GRIFFIN
Anyone want off? Nobody?? Hey folks, I've been there, it's not that bad, Lindsay Lohan f'n LIVES here -- shop around, check it out!

BRIAN
Umm, what other floors are there?

KATHY GRIFFIN
Lemme see, this is "Doubt", other choices would be "Sacrifice", top floor is "Arrogance", down in the basement we have "Self-Loathing" -- did you know that Courtney Love hangs down there quite a bit?

BRIAN
Got anything good, like "Success"?

KATHY GRIFFIN
Ha!! You're in the wrong place, buddy -- Trump Tower is miles from here, and I wouldn't head down there unless you've got a producer!

BRIAN
(sighs)
Any leads?

KATHY GRIFFIN
I hear Mark Burnett is up on the "Arrogance" floor today.

BRIAN
Seems I have no choice.

Kathy presses the "Arrogance" button, the doors start to close. Brian sticks his hand out, halting the gates.

BRIAN
Shakespeare, get in here, I'll be needing your services!

FADE OUT

OP-ED: BRANDING A CITY PT. 2

On Sunday, Lovely Wife showed me the front of the local newspaper with the headline of "City Approves New Slogan."

I hadn't even opened the paper - I was still on the laptop trying to decipher mysterious sluglines in produced scripts, such as --

SECURITY CHECKPOINT - SAME

Thanks Jason Reitman, for that confusing scene heading.

Back to the newspaper -- the other day I wrote an op-ed and sent it in, concerning the proposed city slogan of "The Right Size."

CLICK HERE FOR MY OP-ED

An assistant to the editor said it could be weeks before it was printed. Imagine my surprise when I opened the paper, and there it was already, with my pic, as usual.

Not only that, but the entire page was themed around the "Right Size" slogan. A big political cartoon at the top had a hillbilly-looking fellow nailing a banner, that said "size matters", to a city entrance sign.

On the left column -- the official paper editorial spoke of the possible perils in using such a slogan.

At the bottom -- Editor Rich Whiting charged others to come up with a slogan, but a good one.

In all, seems my column was word-porn for the local newspaper, and they went nuts, rightfully so. I guess I said what they had been thinking -- just had to open the door for them.

Three neighbors have walked past my screened porch since, none acknowledging my presence. Who knows, maybe they didn't see me, but when you write an op-ed about a dumb idea in a southern city, a lot of people "don't take too kindly to it" --

especially when you're a "yankee" who has only lived here for a year.

MY FRIEND, ESTHER LUTTRELL

Imagine my surprise when my friend -- who works in screenwriting, production, and many others sectors of the craft and profession -- shared this bit of information concerning scene headings (sluglines) --

INT. JOHNSON HOUSE - LORI'S BEDROOM - NIGHT

A Slug Line gives information to 4 members of the production team: The lst Assistant Director, the Location Manager, the Set Decorator, and the Lighting Technician. In truth, it gives information to a multitude of crew members, but if you'll just remember the significance to these four key positions, you will never again write an incorrect Slug Line.

lst Assistant Director looks at the first piece of information in your Slug Line to see if this scene is to be shot INT. (interior) or EXT. (exterior). The lst A.D. does the scheduling.

The Location Manager looks at the second piece of information to determine what site must be secured for this scene.

The Set Decorator looks at the third piece of information to determine what room or area must be decorated ("dressed") by the time the crew arrives for filming.

The Lighting Technician looks at the last piece of information to know whether to set the scene for Day for for Night.

If you are among the, maybe majority, of screenwriters misled to the idea that a slugline is to give the reader -- the one that stands between you and Hollywood -- a vision as to where the scene is taking place, then you're only half misled, but still picking your jaw up off the floor.

Esther Luttrell is an accomplished screenwriter, director, producer, speaker, and author. She has worked for MGM and has a professional resume' that would make any scribe's mouth water. If you have ever watched T.V. or film, her name has crossed your line of sight.

What I most appreciate about Esther is her practical teaching methods and candid, yet sweet, way to deliver constructive criticism. After all, if you are paying someone for a read, coaching, advice, etc., you want them to tell the truth, not sugarcoat it.

I've spent a lot of time scouring the web for screenwriting info and writing -- in fact, it is my full time, unpaid job. In all of my online searches I could still not get to the true root of the slugline and Esther set me straight.

If your time is money and you want your script and skills to reach maximum potential, I'm more than proud to refer you to Esther Luttrell.

Learn more at her websites at the following link:

http://www.estherluttrell.net/home.html

UP IN THE AIR - SCRIPT & TRAILER

UP IN THE AIR

Adapted & Directed by JASON REITMAN
Starring GEORGE CLOONEY

I just read the script for "Up in the Air", which is available at a link on Simply Scripts (click on the title at the beginning of the paragraph, PDF).

GO TO AND DOWNLOAD "UP IN THE AIR" SCRIPT

WATCH "UP IN THE AIR" TRAILER ON YOUTUBE

It's the story of a hatchet-man who terminates employees by contract, collecting frequent flyer miles all the way. It's a drama, not a horror-flick, he doesn't actually kill the people, he just fires them -- same thing, kinda.

Most of this was filmed in St. Louis, and much of that in my old stomping grounds of Maplewood, Missouri. The midwest offers a lot for a shoot -- it's economical, has diverse architecture, trees, rolling hills -- the only thing you won't find there is a desert, or an ocean, the latter being one of the reasons I moved away.

Main character Ryan is an interesting fellow. He doesn't talk, he "quips", and he "lives" in airports and planes. Ryan avoids relationships on every level, this frequent flyer could write a manual on the best techniques to use when speaking to an adjacent passenger on a flight -- keep it to small talk, then depart quickly.

Love interest Alex lives the same lifestyle, and when they cross paths it just might be a deal made in heaven -- which to them is Homestead Suites, a competitor to the Courtyard Marriot hotel chain. Observe --

INT. - HOTEL - BAR - NIGHT

Ryan and Alex have taken over a couch and have the contents of their wallets spread out - ALL MEMBERSHIP CARDS.

RYAN
Courtyard Marriott card? How dare you bring that into this palace.

ALEX
Homestead Suites offers equal value and better food - But the Marriott gives out warm cookies at check in.

RYAN
They got you with the cookies?

ALEX
I'm a sucker for simulated hospitality.

The script is a terrific read, plenty of sub-plot, twists. Clocks in at about 124 pages, it's a PDF scan so I can't be exact.

One of the basic themes is unemployment, or people just about to join the breadline when they get the news of being fired. With the economy the way it is, Clooney's appeal, Reitmann calling the shots, and people flying less these days therefore wanting to feel like they are, I predict a blockbuster sellout, put me on record for --

199 million dollars.

Could go higher, "Hangover" did the upper 200's, but I'll keep it modest.

Please support this film, there's a real story here and it reflects the times we're going through, it's deserving.

"UP IN THE AIR" OFFICIAL WEBSITE, TRAILER, CLIPS

"UP IN THE AIR" ON IMDB

OP-ED: BRANDING A CITY

This is my latest op-ed column to be published in our local paper. In short, a branding firm decided that "The Right Size" would be our town's new moniker-- slaying ensues, lol...

Size Doesn't Matter

Greenwood's residents and businesses were no doubt excited to hear of a recent task force organized to "brand" the city. The brand is to "be conveyed in the signage throughout Greenwood and on literature and marketing material."

The branding-consulting firm of Arnett Muldrow and Associates was hired to achieve this goal, gathering feedback from the community, ultimately christening Greenwood with their new slogan:

"Greenwood - The Right Size"

Oh, my.

Three of seven proposed color logos and slogans adorning the morning paper had me doing a double-take. Was I being filmed by one of those spoof shows, with a camera in the bushes, waiting for my reaction?

First was "Greenwood - THE RIGHT SIZE", with "RIGHT" in glowing, bold emerald. The first thing that came to mind was the cliche', yet still funny, "Size doesn't matter." Looking at the word "RIGHT", it just reeked of a political ad: we're right, not on the left, not in between, this town knows its political orientation.

The next logo was "Uptown Greenwood - IT'S RIGHT UPTOWN." I know, I just take Grace Street and I'm right there. Oh, "RIGHT", as in "correct", or "in order". I agree, Uptown is in order, but outsiders would expect that -- a standard is something you adhere to, not brag about. Or did they mean that most of the business owners are Republicans?

The third one is "THE EMERALD TRIANGLE," which is eerie, in all capitals like that, and an elongated triangle that looks like a logo for a new hybrid vehicle. I can't help but associate anything with "triangle" in the name with the "Bermuda Triangle". To me it says "enter and you may never leave," which in itself is a great moniker for a city, unless you're planning a quick visit.

It's like a movie trailer: Grandma went shopping in Greenwood for the day, yet unbeknownst to her, between Thayer's and The Bootery, there exists a portal to the unknown, a place between space and time -- "THE EMERALD TRIANGLE."

I don't believe that one-line slogans work for any city, can you name one off the top of your head? Did you know that the City of Columbia, S.C., has the motto of "One Mission, One Message, One Columbia"? How about Charleston's "Where History Lives"?

Not saying that Greenwood should give up the idea of a label for the area with one dramatic line that will pull in new businesses, residents, and customers; that should be the goal of every community in the nation. Cities have to compete, states do, look at "Virgina is for Lovers," my favorite of all slogans.

After moving here last year, I took a visiting uncle to a local jewelry store because he wanted to buy an emerald ring. We met with local jeweler, Jeff, who showed us a velvet-lined case full of beautiful, loose gems. A discussion ensued about the stones, origins, and why the sign into Greenwood proclaimed it to be "The Emerald City".

He replied that it might have something to do with irish sailors that settled here, Ireland being the "Emerald Isle." I discarded that notion, not because it wasn't true, but I wanted to believe that it was dubbed so because of its beautiful green hues on surrounding golf courses, thick foliage growing in my backyard, and maybe that deep below the city there was an undiscovered vein of glowing, vitreous emeralds, waiting to be discovered.

Meanwhile, my uncle had a gold band on his finger, green gem propped atop, admiring it.

"Looks just the right size, Uncle Tom," I said.

"Size doesn't matter," he quipped.

CONFLICT OR CHALLENGE?

Is it a conflict, or a challenge?

CONFLICT:
1. A state of open, often prolonged fighting; a battle or war.
2. A state of disharmony between incompatible or antithetical persons, ideas, or interests; a clash.
3. A psychic struggle, often unconscious, resulting from the opposition or simultaneous functioning of mutually exclusive impulses, desires, or tendencies.
4. Opposition between characters or forces in a work of drama or fiction, especially opposition that motivates or shapes the action of the plot.

CHALLENGE
1.
a. A call to engage in a contest, fight, or competition.
b. An act or statement of defiance.
2. A demand for explanation or justification.
3. A sentry's call to an unknown party for proper identification.
4. A test of one's abilities or resources in a demanding but stimulating undertaking.
5. A claim that a vote is invalid or that a voter is unqualified.
6. A formal objection to the inclusion of a prospective juror in a jury.
7. The induction or evaluation of an immune response in an organism by administration of a specific antigen to which it has been sensitized.

All too often I hear the riddle behind a screenplay is the "conflict". I feel that is often too general of a categorization, especially across the board for all of the different genres.

I agree that conflict must be used, but challenge can be highly applicable, depending on who your antagonist is. I'm looking to explore a use of words specific to certain types of films.

For example: in a "coming of age" genre type film, depending on the antagonist, I might be more inclined to use the word "challenge" instead of "conflict".

Food for thought.

CASTING YOUR SCRIPT

Searching the web led me to SIMPLYSCRIPTS.COM, where I downloaded my earliest reads. There is also a section for "unproduced" scripts, as they put it.

Yes, aspiring screenwriters willingly upload their scripts to public access. This might make sense if production companies trolled the site-- fact is, they don't.

It might also be an option if the readers who downloaded were actual Hollywood readers-- they're not. Their feedback doesn't even start to touch on what real readers are looking for such as a story with a structure, character traits, timing, format-- as Rossio puts it, a "strange attractor" that makes the whole thing unique.

Here's the funny thing, damn funny, to me at least: usually the reader's first question, posted on the public message board, is "who do you see being cast in that part?" From there it leads to a discussion between the poster and scribe as to whether Katherine Heigl or Reese Witherspoon is better suited for the role.

Sorry folks, but I find this hilarious!!

Okay, if you're new to screenwriting, let me explain that the question is as far off topic as whether the chicken or the egg came first. We scribes, we're just looking for a read, and hoping one day an executive will have to sit through a pitch or meeting where the topic is our screenplay. Considering casting for the part is like an amateur, home-guitarist pondering how many of his concert tour dates he can fit into one year!

Hunky male wiseguy? How about Gerard Butler, he seems to be accepting any role lately, as the "flavor of the month".
Sex siren? Can someone tip off Megan Fox or Angelina Jolie? Watch out, Hollywood agents, our script is "out there" now!

I could fill the pages-- oh my, hilarious!!

One more thing: any script with a pregnant female will be likened to "Knocked Up", as in "you probably got passed on by execs because the film is a lot like Knocked Up". Never mind it had camera shots, incorrect format, no structure-- it's because it's kind of like "Knocked Up".

Yep, I'm sure they read it and that's why they passed-- better luck next time!!

Okay, now it's your turn: cast your role, go for it, it's free, goofy, and fun!

I'm taking Steve Carell for my rom-com, I called it first!!

HOW TO WASTE TIME

When someone offers to read your script, whether it's a professional reader or just a friend, you should be thankful. What that means is foresight, not hindsight. They're spending an hour or so of their time helping you, don't expect them to clean up your junk.

When your screenplay has typos and camera angles you're telling me one thing: you don't care, so why should I? If I can tell that you didn't proofread the damn thing then why should I? What, is your time more important than mine? Doubt it, at least to me.

Last night I finally downloaded a script that people, on a message board, had been raving about. It's an unproduced script by someone with obvious talent, or so it seemed as I was reading it.

At the end of 117 pages I had annotated all in my head so I could do this person a favor and post notes, a review, whatever you like.

*one character typo
*address "mom" as "Mom"
*kill the camera angles
*use "filtered" instead of "V.O." for phone conversations
*why did that character disappear and come back way late?
*get to the point quicker in the first ten pages
*check the ethics and morals of the one character, dangerous move, maybe

So, I go on, ready to post that and some good suggestions on how to resolve the problems. Paging through other's feedback, I see the scribe posted this:

"Oh, that's not my latest version, I changed that, and got rid of that character, and..."...."an email so I can send the revised script".

What did I WANT to post??
"YOU ARE A COMPLETE DUMBASS"

What DID I post?
Nothing.

As much as I feel like getting the "latest" version and posting notes, I won't do this person the favor and waste MORE of my time... except for in this post, ranting about it.

So, to you, yes, that promising screenwriter that wasted my time, you know what's wrong with your script? NOTHING, nothing I care to share with you, except this tip--

always post the most recent version of your script so you don't waste my time!

PUBLISH A BOOK

One of the ideas floating around the blogosphere is to self-publish a book in connection with your screenplay. Of course, techniques for writing novels are quite different than that of screenwriting, but if you have a good story it's not impossible.

LULU.COM has become one of the most popular sites and services to self-publish through. The size, format, and price is completely up to the author. Known as "pay per print", the book is published on demand, after each client order.

The advantage to having a book in print in connection with your script is multi-faceted: you can send it in with your script, possibly intriguing more interest; pester friends to buy copies online to increase sales; and who knows, maybe one of the big publishers will come at you with a book deal.

Or, a production company, who wants to do an adaptation, in which case you will whip out the script and say "got that too!"

INKTIP

Just checked out a site recently, inktip.com, where you can upload a bio, logline, query, treatment, and script for $60. They claim to background check the companies they give access to, in other words, it is not a free view for all out there.

They also claim over 53 production deals from the site, and a current record of approximately one deal a mo0nth. For the price, in comparison to the cost of sending queries, I think it is worth some strong consideration.

The other plus is being able to access a log which shows who has been reading your script. Post your thoughts.

SCREENWRITER'S UPDATE - EIGHTY SEVEN DAYS IN

Another week down and another update in. Breaking headline of the week:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LOVELY WIFE!

and

110 pages is the new 120!

What? Just when I honed the script to 120, omitting spaces and some lines in the process?? But we were told that whitespace in between action lines made it easier on the eyes, and an easy read. And I'm not bumping out the margins, or tightening the line spacing. But, I might have to if this keeps up.

Polishing continues, and I was able to spend an entire day on the topics of logline, query letter, and synopisis. A logline for a rom-com with several sub-plots is not an easy thing, in all of the above I don't want to give away the ending.

What do I really want to say in a query? Well, it's different from what I will send, but here's how I feel.

Bigass Productions
123 Hollywood Blvd.
Hollywood, CA
90210

Dear Director of Development,

I have busted my ass on a screenplay that I would like to submit for your consideration.

"TITLE HERE" is the story of "PROTAGONIST", a "BACKSTORY" and "OCCUPATION", who suffers from extreme "FIXATION" but ends up finding a way to use it to his advantage. It's never been done.<--(in edit, I wonder how many fools put that one on, OMG!)

I'm a full-time aspiring screenwriter and a published newspaper columnist. A devout follower of the teachings of Rossio and August, I follow strict protocol on screenwriting trends, which means there are no camera angles or parantheticals to bore you in the read. Action and description is cut to the minimum and spaced, and I actually follow a three-act structure. I'm sure you will enjoy it-- and make tons of money if you produce it.

Drop me a line and I'll fire this sucker to ya.

Peace out,
Brian Burke

WRITE A GOOD SCRIPT

Find something to write about, anything, just do it.

If it's humor, make it funny, with interesting characters that have quirky traits, a story that is going somewhere, give it a theme. A plot is good, essential, but give us a theme we're interested in, something we can relate to or admire.

Be the expert, in your area of expertise. You're probably more interesting than you think, but only in certain ways. If you're a stock clerk, I want to know what goes on between the aisles and behind that door that says "Staff Only". I really don't want to read your script or see your film about a guy who builds an incredible weapon we've never heard of before, because we probably heard of it before. And if you just have to write that thing, do your research, lots of it.

Keep the action and description short, I've got an imagination, you know? If I have to draw a diagram to figure out how the "x-machine" looks then you've lost the point of using that as a prop in the first place. Just make it look like an ordinary pen, and when you click it, you're transported in time, I can vision that, plus it's cost effective for production.

Give us some dialogue, meaningful stuff, don't just write it to fill pages, don't waste our time. If you're hurting for material just go somewhere and strike up conversation with a stranger, and annotate their traits, how they speak, what they talk about. People will usually try saying something important, or make an observation that is no new observation, and that alone is interesting or funny-- not in the way they think it is though. We like to poke fun at people in this manner, it's human nature.

Make it a good ending. Some people say that's the hardest thing to do but if you have a good outline you should know where it's going. If you don't know, then tell someone your logline and ask them how they think that would end, because people will usually tell you what they want to hear.

Enough? Good. It's not that hard, is it?

Now go write something, something good.

MOVING TO LA

Every screenwriter, at some point or another, faces one, perplexing, inevitable question:

"Should I move to LA?"

Check into any message board on the craft, google it, eavesdrop on a group of eccentric drama students at a coffee shop, and the topic will come up, more than a few times.

Successful screenwriters usually do live in LA, Terry Rossio lives up the hill from the studios because he often finds himself in pitches, in front of Spielberg and the like. He has a funny story of when he lived in Orange County and would have to drive over an hour to studio meetings. He, and writing partner Ted Elliot, came up with the whole treatment for "Godzilla" during these commutes. Eventually, he had to give in and make the move.

John August has a much different story, of how he arrived, unknown, with a dinged-up vehicle, feeling very unimportant and as if he didn't belong there. But, he felt he was a good writer, and as it turns out, he was.

Just the other day, on a message board, a lady was ranting along about how she is a screenwriter and lives in LA, and that the town isn't full of scribes, as she claimed people were being led to believe. In her words, she lived her whole life in LA and never met another screenwriter--

she should get out more.

So, apparently, living there, or in her case, being born and raised there, doesn't guarantee success, especially if you never get out, aren't invited for a pitch, don't send out tens of tons of query letters and scripts, like we all have to, in an attempt to get a foot in the studio door.

This lady might as well live in, well, anywhere else in the world, as most of us do.

So, for now, enjoy the mountains, if that is where you live. If your town has brick buildings and bookstores, according to Rossio, that's one up on LA. If there are seasons where you live, with trees that have actual leaves, changing color and falling to the ground, you're not in LA.

Enjoy it for now.

HOW TO WRITE A SCREENPLAY (SCRIPT) PT. 20

After printing your script, as I mentioned before, you will still finds things that you either need or want to change. Format, typos, grammar, and structure errors are a few obvious problems that will get attention.

I want to talk about repetition, specifically verbs. Many pro readers and screenwriters tell us we need to have the character moving, and to make that movement obvious, to take the reader along in the picture.

Naturally, in our present-tense sort of screenwriting style, a commonly used verb will be "goes".

He goes to the window.

And, it depends what is happening to and around our character, so we can use the proper verb to get him there.

If he heard a bomb go off, distant, outside, it might be:

He dashes to the window.
He darts to the window.
He speeds to the window.
He runs to the window.
He bolts to the window.

If he's depressed, on a gloomy day:

He trudges to the window.
He shuffles to the window.
He drags up to the window.
He wanders to the window.
He saunters to the window.

Try using different verbs for the same action, throughout your script, as one can only read "goes up" and "goes over to" so many times until it becomes boring.

At the same time, keep it easy, and sensible for the reader, it's not a novel, don't go into three line articulation for the simple process of a character going to the window.

Have a good write!

HOW TO WRITE A SCREENPLAY (SCRIPT) PT. 19

PRINTING YOUR SCRIPT
Mentor John August has THIS great post about the last steps he takes to proofread and prepare a script before sending it off. For some unknown reason, human eyes can see typos on paper that they failed to see on the computer, so it will be essential to print out your screenplay for a "fresh set of eyes" view. Speaking of which, get a friend or family member, or anyone else who is willing to read your script for errors. They might see a typo or something that doesn't add up.

Our teacher also has some good TIPS on how to avoid wasting too much paper.

The NICHOLL AWARDS site displays a list of formatting problems that might give a bad first impression to a reader, in other words, as quoted from the site, avoid:

1.Typo/misspelling on the title page.
2.Typo/misspelling in the first scene header.
3.Typos/misspellings in the first sentence or paragraph or page.
4.Triple/double spacing of every/many line(s) on first page.
5.Lack of spacing between scene header and description and/or between description and dialogue and/or between dialogue and dialogue.
6.Use of font other than Courier 12-point, ten-pitch, non-proportional.
7.Extensive use of bold print.
8.Dialogue that stretches from the left margin to the right margin.
9.Extra space between character name and dialogue.
10.Description and/or dialogue typed ALL CAPS.
11.Extremely narrow or extremely wide outside margins.
12.Long, long, long descriptive passages.
13.Handwritten or hand-printed script.
14.Other glaring, non-standard format usage.

If you're using a script-editing program, most of that should be taken care of, if you proofread, that is.

If you're using the free Cinergy Script Editor that I suggested and linked, there's one slight problem to work out concerning the TITLE of your script. Cinergy insists on printing your title on the upper left hand of every page, not just on the cover.

To avoid this, prior to printing, go to
file>project setup>project title
and leave it blank.

Print your full script, then create a new blank page, filling in the title and pertinent info at the same tab, then print out your title page and attach it to your script.

By the way, title pages are never numbered, just your title, your name, contact info, and revision date, which the program will take care of itself.

Happy printing, and have a good read!