POOR SCRIBES

Oh, the poor, downtrodden scribes! Pity the souls of thee who embark on such a wretched journey, with pen or laptop in hand, strolling unwittingly to their own execution!

90% of writers come at me with this crap, lol.

I've learned five different professions in my life, not including all the trades that I know one helluva lot about, and could easily hang tough with some of the best in, like drywalling (which translated means "torture".) In all my trials and tribulations of learning and working in these occupations, I never once heard so many negative things as I have from writers.

"Hollywood is...", "oh, but don't be fooled, executives don't...", etc., and what was your point? Oh, that succeeding in something is difficult? I'd agree. Ohhh, no, you mean -- succeeding in screenwriting is real difficult, like ueber-extraordinary-difficult, like the toughest, most grueling, pitiful, and damning thing that the world can offer?

I doubt it. No, correction, I know for a fact it's not true.

Really difficult, for example, is the life of a roofer. I have very limited experience in the sector, but I have stood on a wet roof long enough to know that what stands between a roofer and death is a slip on rain-soaked tarpaper, and a fifteen foot fall. Don't believe me? Google "roofer died", and you'll have a new appreciation for whatever your job is, unless you're an iron-worker, up on a beam.

But the scribes would say that's the life of a roofer. To which I reply that rejection and lack of success are part of being a writer -- get over it, and quit whining and telling us how hard it is, we don't care.

But I don't feel like stopping there, I want to give the scribes the old "one-two", I'm going to knock them in their whiny egos --

"You're all judgmental".

Hehe, yep, writers are judgmental, they stereotype like living hell, they have to, it's demanded in their trade. For the unfamiliar, there are these things called "character traits" that a writer must adhere to. These will reflect how your character walks, talks, where they vacation -- so the audience can judge how the character will react.

"That's out of character" means that you created a roofer, who might look and talk the way you think a roofer looks and talks like, but he's smarter than his client character who is a screenwriter.

I know what you're thinking: if he's so smart he wouldn't be a roofer. Therein lies your bad judgment.

To you, dear writer, a roofer is just like a doorman or any other stereotype you write into a script. And you and Hollywood can help reinforce this attitude with the way you write and cast for different nationalities, because we all know the stereotypical tactics you'll use. You'll either go along with the judgmental values, or try to make the character the exact opposite of what is considered the "norm" for their race.

So, scribes, try getting over that. You tried ruining my week with your bull of apathetic funk, I saved it all up and gave you a "whippen" to think about.

Have a good weekend!

FADE OUT