BURN AFTER READING
Armed with a DVR remote on a Saturday night, Lovely Wife and I perused the latest to see what we could watch and settled on "Burn After Reading". After all, it was a Coen brothers flick with Clooney, Malkovich, Pitt... what could go wrong?
A lot.
I'm not against different formulas, we should all try something new, but this just doesn't work. Here we have an interesting plot, great character traits, unexpected twists, orchestrated in a brilliant little "POOF" of "who cares and why did I waste the time watching it?"
Lovely Wife, who will sit through any movie, she doesn't give up -- felt pretty ripped off by the last five minutes. It's not a matter of a "good" ending or not, or if you just don't understand the director's technique, there's absolutely no payoff and nobody cares, to wait for the end or through another Coen brothers film.
Too many different POV's, the only character we have a chance to get close too is Clooney, who plays "not such a nice guy". A senseless killing at the end tops it off.
To each his own. I'm not even going to google the box office numbers because just being a Coen film with Clooney and Malkovich influences the gross.
So, if you've got some time to waste, go ahead. If not, you might want to use this piece of advice --
"Burn Before Watching"...
Then read a book.
Showing posts with label How to Waste Time. Show all posts
Showing posts with label How to Waste Time. Show all posts
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
CASTING YOUR SCRIPT
Searching the web led me to SIMPLYSCRIPTS.COM, where I downloaded my earliest reads. There is also a section for "unproduced" scripts, as they put it.
Yes, aspiring screenwriters willingly upload their scripts to public access. This might make sense if production companies trolled the site-- fact is, they don't.
It might also be an option if the readers who downloaded were actual Hollywood readers-- they're not. Their feedback doesn't even start to touch on what real readers are looking for such as a story with a structure, character traits, timing, format-- as Rossio puts it, a "strange attractor" that makes the whole thing unique.
Here's the funny thing, damn funny, to me at least: usually the reader's first question, posted on the public message board, is "who do you see being cast in that part?" From there it leads to a discussion between the poster and scribe as to whether Katherine Heigl or Reese Witherspoon is better suited for the role.
Sorry folks, but I find this hilarious!!
Okay, if you're new to screenwriting, let me explain that the question is as far off topic as whether the chicken or the egg came first. We scribes, we're just looking for a read, and hoping one day an executive will have to sit through a pitch or meeting where the topic is our screenplay. Considering casting for the part is like an amateur, home-guitarist pondering how many of his concert tour dates he can fit into one year!
Hunky male wiseguy? How about Gerard Butler, he seems to be accepting any role lately, as the "flavor of the month".
Sex siren? Can someone tip off Megan Fox or Angelina Jolie? Watch out, Hollywood agents, our script is "out there" now!
I could fill the pages-- oh my, hilarious!!
One more thing: any script with a pregnant female will be likened to "Knocked Up", as in "you probably got passed on by execs because the film is a lot like Knocked Up". Never mind it had camera shots, incorrect format, no structure-- it's because it's kind of like "Knocked Up".
Yep, I'm sure they read it and that's why they passed-- better luck next time!!
Okay, now it's your turn: cast your role, go for it, it's free, goofy, and fun!
I'm taking Steve Carell for my rom-com, I called it first!!
Yes, aspiring screenwriters willingly upload their scripts to public access. This might make sense if production companies trolled the site-- fact is, they don't.
It might also be an option if the readers who downloaded were actual Hollywood readers-- they're not. Their feedback doesn't even start to touch on what real readers are looking for such as a story with a structure, character traits, timing, format-- as Rossio puts it, a "strange attractor" that makes the whole thing unique.
Here's the funny thing, damn funny, to me at least: usually the reader's first question, posted on the public message board, is "who do you see being cast in that part?" From there it leads to a discussion between the poster and scribe as to whether Katherine Heigl or Reese Witherspoon is better suited for the role.
Sorry folks, but I find this hilarious!!
Okay, if you're new to screenwriting, let me explain that the question is as far off topic as whether the chicken or the egg came first. We scribes, we're just looking for a read, and hoping one day an executive will have to sit through a pitch or meeting where the topic is our screenplay. Considering casting for the part is like an amateur, home-guitarist pondering how many of his concert tour dates he can fit into one year!
Hunky male wiseguy? How about Gerard Butler, he seems to be accepting any role lately, as the "flavor of the month".
Sex siren? Can someone tip off Megan Fox or Angelina Jolie? Watch out, Hollywood agents, our script is "out there" now!
I could fill the pages-- oh my, hilarious!!
One more thing: any script with a pregnant female will be likened to "Knocked Up", as in "you probably got passed on by execs because the film is a lot like Knocked Up". Never mind it had camera shots, incorrect format, no structure-- it's because it's kind of like "Knocked Up".
Yep, I'm sure they read it and that's why they passed-- better luck next time!!
Okay, now it's your turn: cast your role, go for it, it's free, goofy, and fun!
I'm taking Steve Carell for my rom-com, I called it first!!
Monday, November 2, 2009
HOW TO WASTE TIME
When someone offers to read your script, whether it's a professional reader or just a friend, you should be thankful. What that means is foresight, not hindsight. They're spending an hour or so of their time helping you, don't expect them to clean up your junk.
When your screenplay has typos and camera angles you're telling me one thing: you don't care, so why should I? If I can tell that you didn't proofread the damn thing then why should I? What, is your time more important than mine? Doubt it, at least to me.
Last night I finally downloaded a script that people, on a message board, had been raving about. It's an unproduced script by someone with obvious talent, or so it seemed as I was reading it.
At the end of 117 pages I had annotated all in my head so I could do this person a favor and post notes, a review, whatever you like.
*one character typo
*address "mom" as "Mom"
*kill the camera angles
*use "filtered" instead of "V.O." for phone conversations
*why did that character disappear and come back way late?
*get to the point quicker in the first ten pages
*check the ethics and morals of the one character, dangerous move, maybe
So, I go on, ready to post that and some good suggestions on how to resolve the problems. Paging through other's feedback, I see the scribe posted this:
"Oh, that's not my latest version, I changed that, and got rid of that character, and..."...."an email so I can send the revised script".
What did I WANT to post??
"YOU ARE A COMPLETE DUMBASS"
What DID I post?
Nothing.
As much as I feel like getting the "latest" version and posting notes, I won't do this person the favor and waste MORE of my time... except for in this post, ranting about it.
So, to you, yes, that promising screenwriter that wasted my time, you know what's wrong with your script? NOTHING, nothing I care to share with you, except this tip--
always post the most recent version of your script so you don't waste my time!
When your screenplay has typos and camera angles you're telling me one thing: you don't care, so why should I? If I can tell that you didn't proofread the damn thing then why should I? What, is your time more important than mine? Doubt it, at least to me.
Last night I finally downloaded a script that people, on a message board, had been raving about. It's an unproduced script by someone with obvious talent, or so it seemed as I was reading it.
At the end of 117 pages I had annotated all in my head so I could do this person a favor and post notes, a review, whatever you like.
*one character typo
*address "mom" as "Mom"
*kill the camera angles
*use "filtered" instead of "V.O." for phone conversations
*why did that character disappear and come back way late?
*get to the point quicker in the first ten pages
*check the ethics and morals of the one character, dangerous move, maybe
So, I go on, ready to post that and some good suggestions on how to resolve the problems. Paging through other's feedback, I see the scribe posted this:
"Oh, that's not my latest version, I changed that, and got rid of that character, and..."...."an email so I can send the revised script".
What did I WANT to post??
"YOU ARE A COMPLETE DUMBASS"
What DID I post?
Nothing.
As much as I feel like getting the "latest" version and posting notes, I won't do this person the favor and waste MORE of my time... except for in this post, ranting about it.
So, to you, yes, that promising screenwriter that wasted my time, you know what's wrong with your script? NOTHING, nothing I care to share with you, except this tip--
always post the most recent version of your script so you don't waste my time!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
