HOW TO WRITE A SCREENPLAY (SCRIPT) PT. 6

HOW TO WRITE A SCREENPLAY SCENE
Less than a week into it, and you know the format and vernacular of a screenplay, understand ACT structure, have an outline for your story and characters with traits. You understand that you're taking the audience for a ride, and it should be an interesting one or they'll get off at the next stop. That we have to keep everything moving forward in the story, and that every scene and word counts, there's only so much whitespace to work with. Our viewers want the protagonist that they love and the antagonist that they hate, and we're going to keep them on the edge of their seat until ACT III, right?

In one way, it's a lot to ask, in another way, it is so simple, don't overthink it.

Staring at a blank "Page One", even with an outline as your road map, can be daunting. Screenwriters often cite "writer's block" as the reason for not getting things done. I believe that if there's a road block, you should go around it, and that's the way I wrote my first screenplay: out of order.

I had certain scenes in my head and, even before I had a screenwriting program on my computer, I would jot down dialogue or notes in Wordpad. Writing out of order worked well for me, before I knew it, I had a lot of scenes to work with, and my screenplay was "talking" to me, meaning that my characters, traits, and storyline were becoming clearer.

Of course, this process involved a lot of rewriting and editing, pasting into the program once downloaded; it was tedious work. The key here is that it got the ball rolling; instead of staring at whitespace, fill it in with words. Many agree that half the success is just having the will to follow through and complete it. Use your inspiration and motivation to get somewhere.

In order to facilitate this, I want you to use a simple document such as Notepad or Wordpad to write a scene that you are hyped about writing. If it's not in your head, go to your outline and pick something out.

I'll use Monique, my main character who has moved fourteen times in a two year span. And I'll write the scene I mentioned yesterday, where she goes to work in her rubber boots, having forgotten her shoes. My example will have intentional errors that I will show you how to fix. Ready?

INT. COLLECTION AGENCY - MORNING

Monique is sitting in her cubicle at the agency, on the phone with a debtor who is going on about what she should get her grandson for a birthday present.

MONIQUE
Oh, you have a grandson?

DEBTOR
Yes, he'll be 16 in June.

MONIQUE
He'll be getting his license, what about buying him a car?

Monique's supervisor, HELGA, enters her cubicle.

HELGA
(angrily)
Miss Rosenzweig!!

Monique hangs up the phone and turns in her chair.

HELGA
Enough of these personal conversations! And don't we pay you enough to wear shoes instead of galoshes?

FADE OUT

Okay, it's not the worst, but not the best, by reading we can see what is going on here: Monique is sympathizing with another debtor while mean antagonist Helga is after her as usual. That fits our storyline and character traits. BUT, there are some technical errors, and the dialogue could be improved, a lot. My corrections are below, explanation in italics.

INT. COLLECTION AGENCY - MORNING
INT. COLLECTION AGENCY CUBICLE - DAY
This tells us exactly where in the agency, a cubicle, no need mentioning that in the action line, and when she gets pulled into Helga's office, we will state that in the scene as "OFFICE". As far as time, just use DAY or NIGHT, or SUNSET or SUNRISE if critical to the scene, like maybe a love scene.

Monique is sitting in her cubicle at the agency, on the phone with a debtor who is going on about what she should get her grandson for a birthday present.
Monique sits at her desk, on the phone, sympathizes with a GRANDMA in debt who is undecided on what to get her grandson for his birthday.
The present tense of "sits" and "sympathizes" is very present and implies simultaneous action, do this whenever possible. Instead of a DEBTOR, we now know it is a GRANDMA, and since this is her fist entry in our script, the character will be in ALL CAPS, even if we can't see her on the screen.

MONIQUE
Oh, you have a grandson?
Fine, with a paranthetical, it could be:

MONIQUE
(sympathetically)
Oh, you have a grandson?

DEBTOR
Yes, he'll be 16 in June.
GRANDMA
Yes, he'll be sixteen in June.
Most pro screenwriters suggest writing out words, it flows better in the read, and they say that actors can freak out over having to memorize written numbers.

MONIQUE
He'll be getting his license, what about buying him a car?
MONIQUE
Does he have his license? What about a car?
We know the discussion is about a purchase, no need for the word "buying". This flows better like real conversation between two people, and is shorter.

Monique's supervisor, HELGA, enters her cubicle.

HELGA
(angrily)
Miss Rosenzweig!!

Monique hangs up the phone and turns in her chair.
Monique THWACKS down the phone, spins around.
This action line implies urgency, she's busted! The sound effect, always capitalized, enhances this.

HELGA
Enough of these personal conversations! And don't we pay you enough to wear shoes instead of galoshes?
HELGA
What did I tell you?
Don't be "on the nose", the audience knows Monique has been warned before.

Helga looks down at the rubber boots.
The reader sees what Helga is doing in this action line.

HELGA
Is that the new uniform here?
Short, cynical, to the point, and not "on the nose".

FADE OUT

Your scene exercise doesn't have to be perfect, it will later be rewritten and "polished" as we have done here. One of my favorite lines about the craft is when a screenwriter said "it only took me one week to write the script, then a year to rewrite and polish it".

Write your scene, then pick it apart, you'll be amazed at how much you can improve it.

Have a good write!