MOVING TO HOUSTON - CRIME

I've spent the past few days not packing, not looking over the RELO package, not on completing home renovations... instead I've been researching Houston with a lot of help from "the Google", especially "Google Maps" with all of its satellite imagery.

Why? Because I don't want to "get my ass shot off", as we urbanites say in commonspeak. Like in St. Louis, my prior stomping grounds, "don't go north of Delmar (Avenue), might get your ass shot off!"

Well, Houston being the 4th largest U.S. city (as every damn Houston website touts, as if I could care!), I don't know where their "Delmar" is but I'm sure they have plenty of them, and it's my job to learn where that is and to keep my family away from it. Keywords which will help me:

"An up and coming neighborhood" -- this moniker is usually applied to an overpriced loft in a "shoot 'em up" part of town. It seems artsy, until you're on the phone with 911 constantly!

"Revitalized" -- same as above.

"Affordable housing" -- even in this down market, I see nothing good is affordable in Houston. As always in America, the level of cash you lay out is your ticket away from poverty, gunslingers, and late-night frat parties (just not cool once you're over 40 and married).

Other key signs --

Closely knitted new construction in a very old part of town, which usually means they bought a bunch of crackhouses, tore them down, and then built. That means your neighbors the next block over might be crackheads.

Cars parked in front and backyards, visible on satellite imagery from the google.

Bail Bond shops up and down the street -- another google shocker.

I'm a bit overboard about this but I always pride myself on learning a lot about a city before I move there. I have a trusty flood plain map (seems 80% of the town floods during hurricanes) and a crime map on a website (half as bad as the one I saw for L.A., so that calmed me a bit). My motto is "safety first", things can happen anywhere but it pays to be up on things.

FADE OUT... but not forever!