Okay, into the second script and I have a few looming questions. So far I've written an outline, successfully pitched the story to my Lovely Wife, and have completed about eighty pages of what will (hopefully) be a one-hundred-twenty page script.
I'm using "CINERGY", by the way. Scoff if you will, but it works, and it's free! I can (hopefully) easily paste everything into "FINAL DRAFT" when completed, or I've got my work cut out. Owning Final Draft doesn't make you a screenwriter in my opinion, so before I shell out for it I will have to complete scripts, vindicating the cost.
It's a rom-com with two plots: attaining a love interest and a job, both of equal importance. I follow the ACT 1, 2a, 2b, 3 method that Terry Rossio describes in his Wordplayer columns. If you haven't read those I'd advise it, whether you're new to this profession or not.
At page thirty, end of Act One, I have the main character getting the job offer and securing the interest of his lovely future mate.
On page sixty, the all important "Two A to Two B" transition, he wins the job and the heart of little Miss Thing.
By page ninety, Act Three, I plan for him be a phenomenal success at his job, which he turns around and quits and moves away, because love interest loses her interest because he lied to her. Interesting?
And for the grand finale: they will cross paths and hook up again, or not.
For the above, what I'm wondering, is:
*How's the timing look?
*Any ideas / suggestions?
Now, for the technical, scripting stuff:
*Parentheticals: to, or not to. Quite honestly, what's the difference or harm in-
--------------------
MATILDA
(laughs)
You're an idiot!
VS
Matilda starts to laugh.
MATILDA
You're an idiot!
--------------------
The difference to me are a few needed lines, so I support the former, not the latter. Is this bad?
Also, I'm starting to think that leaving out parentheticals is a good idea for a spec script, but maybe not such a good idea for a screenwriting competition entry. Over-directing VS describing the scene, can actors, directors, and writers as well as their judges ever agree on anything? Opinions?
On dialogue cut in half by action descriptions, I'm leaving out the Character name and "cont.d" when they continue talking, saves "hella" space. But I want to do the right (write) thing, so tell me if you think differently.
Last but not least, I'm still deciding between a spiral bound script or using brads, and I still have to find an artist for the cover art.
Gotcha!!! Hehe, I may be new around here but I'm pretty up on things, lol.
SO, if you have an opinion, idea, criticism, rant, rave, philosophy, please post it!
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parentheticals blow. Nobody in the industry really respects them unless you're David Mamet and then you're just going to put them everywhere so people just get over it.
ReplyDeleteDirectors don't want you to direct their actors...even if you DO know better (which most good writers do). Just use your action and descriptive dialogue. They'll get it.
...Unless they're morons.
BRIAN
ReplyDelete(smiles)
Thanks!
oops.. I meant:
Brian smiles.
BRIAN
Thanks!
Yay for free screenwriting software! I use Celtx myself, but it might be time to bite the built and get Final Draft. Maybe I'll wait for the next upgrade.
ReplyDeleteMy biggest question about your structure/timing is where is your conflict coming from? Also, what's the difference between the end of Act 1 and Act 2b? Doesn't getting the job offer = winning the job and securing the interest of the lady = winning the heart of Miss Thing?
Also, is South Carolina a nice place to live? I'm always looking to change it up - that is, of course, until I get sucked into LA.
Thanks for stopping by, Amy.
ReplyDeleteI should re-word: at end of ACT 1, the M.C. gets a job offer he never expected, but can't accept it. He also confirms interest of Miss Thing, but doesn't secure it.
In the 2A to 2B trans, he takes the job, and secures the love interest.
The conflict is him getting exactly what he wanted but never expected, almost refusing it in denial, then figuring out how to deal with it. Comments?
As for SC vs MI, it's warmer here but don't be fooled, can get down to 12F in the winter! We're three hours from historic Charleston, amazing place, plenty of beaches here.
On the other side, it can be very rural, but that's anywhere. I am however amazed how many independent film artists are around here, probably because of our proximity to SCAD.
Amy Butler, I posted to your blog and got a "bounced mail" msg.
ReplyDeleteWeird, I didn't even know it could give "bounced" messages. I'm pretty technologically unsavvy, so I'm not sure what that means.
ReplyDeleteI get it now, the difference in the act breaks. I mean, it would be difficult to reflect too much on just the act breaks, and I myself am by no means a pro, but a lot of the structure of screenwriting is denying your protag what he wants. And internal struggle is the most difficult to articulate (I have fought with so many stories of internal struggle. I think that's why my most recent draft was straight up good v. evil). Of course it might all hinge on how your structure plays into your theme. Just because it's uncommon or difficult doesn't mean don't do it.
What if in your act I break he makes the decision to go for the job/girl, then spends act 2a attempting (maybe failing sometimes), achieves in at the midpoint, then ruins it in his self denial in act 2b? Then the question of act III is whether he can get over his self denial to recover the things he loves?
I mean - this is totally flying by the seat of my pants thoughts, so feel free to blatantly ignore me. :)
PS. You totally had me about the cover art. Nice.
Amy, apparently your blog sends posted comments to you directly via email, you might be able to change this is your blog settings.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your suggestions, totally, as I am running into probs with his job in 2b, obviously. Thanks.
John August, who I really respect, once posted that a character's internal struggle is not a story, blew me away. Several people posted links and comments to films demonstrating the counter.
Lately, I've been reading that lots of comedies and rom-coms can be or are less structured, but I'm trying to employ rules and still have an interesting story I can sell,, hopefully, lol.
Thanks for the ideas!