"REALITY" TV

You can tell a lot about a person by looking at their DVR menu. When you view the listings that me and my Lovely Wife share, you can figure out that we: would love to move out of country again (INTERNATIONAL HOUSE HUNTERS), enjoy viewing nice homes (FLIPPING OUT), keep up with style and fashion (RACHEL ZOE, WHAT NOT TO WEAR), own a dog (THE DOG WHISPERER), like celebrity spoofs (THE DISH, THE SOUP), and love the making of music (DIDDY in MAKING HIS BAND). Staples, when in season, are THE HILLS and THE CITY, because they employ all of the above, except pets, unless you want to count when LC and Lo got a dog, Lo dissing Audrina in the process. And as far as moving out of the country again, watch enough episodes of the aforementioned and you will soon be considering that action as well.

You won't find sports events on the list except for MOTO GP, that's my recording of super-fast international level motorcycle racing. And, you won't find anything like THE BACHELOR or MORE TO LOVE, but you will however see ROCK OF LOVE if they go for that again; it's a train wreck that has to be watched, shout out to Bret Michaels, lol!

Reality shows make up a big part of the list. Last night we watched GUILIANA AND BILL, the married couple comprised of E-NEWS hostess, DePandi, and the former Trump Apprentice, Rancic.

What does this all have to do with scripting? Everything. Okay, figuring out that "reality" shows are scripted was like finding out that Santa didn't exist, but it doesn't ruin Christmas, you can still enjoy the guilty pleasure.

Guiliana and Bill runs thirty minutes, so there's no slack time there, they keep it moving. Set in Chicago as well as LA, you get the best of both worlds, although I haven't once heard Guiliana whine about the freezing cold of the windy city, which is colder than Moscow for 80% of the year, and that is freaking cold. If you live there, sorry for my comments, but you're in cryogenic denial about the weather, a serious one.

We get to see where they live, what they do, where they're going; I guess that is what reality TV is about, but they keep it rolling and it's funny and not overly staged. Last night I figured out that they're using a "Lucy and Ricky" concept: Bill is the level head, he plays along with Guiliana's shenanigans, accepting her naivete' about things. Guiliana is Lucy, attempting to cook, or thinking that she's good at dancing, or assisting Bill on one of his renovation projects.

The program is funny, sweet, it shows how much fun it is to be married if you make the right choices and work at things, and we love that. Its fast pace keeps you focused on the plot and sharp dialogue. The backstory of either is no secret and is part of the foundation of the series.

I'd rate it PG-13 since sometimes Guiliana will let something slip that will drop your jaw. But in the end we know that's scripted, and for those who don't, I'm sure they'll be hitting the message boards with critical commentary but will keep tuning in, and that's the key to the business: viewers and ratings.

So good luck to the couple, we'd like to see more if they can keep the pace. And if not, there's always another series of those crazy "housewife" shows, the next being set in Dallas, Texas. Saddle up, someone's going to get branded.