SCREENWRITING COMPETITIONS

INT. SCREENED PORCH - MORNING

We see Brian with his legs kicked up on the wicker table, Dell in his lap, typing away. Maus the cat is snuggled into a tight, white, fluffy ball in a chair, a sign that autumn will soon be here.

BRIAN (V.O.)
Ahh, crisp, cool, air at sixty six degrees, what a welcome surprise.
(beat)
This morning I read a blog post concerning a friend's screenwriting competition entry. She got the standard "thanks but no thanks" line concerning her script. Bummer.

A lot of "organizations" have jumped onto the competition bandwagon, hell, I even hosted several annual art competitions on my DECORATIVE ARTS CENTER FAUX FINISHING SCHOOL website. I had several reasons for doing this: as a reward to students and a chance for them to gain recognition and win a cash prize, to show potential students that we had successful graduates, and to put myself ahead of competitors, who offered nothing.

In no time entries were piling up, it was quite a task picking winners of categories, writing checks, notifying everyone, posting all the results and images on the web. It became so consuming that I discontinued the event.

So, why do production companies or organizations host so many screenplay competitions? My guess is that they are looking to tag themselves onto the best script. Not only that, if the writer has any sort of connections, any elements, they hope to feed on it. Also, just securing the info of the entries i.e. name, address, email, is money. They can use your info to sell to mailing lists to SPAMMERS, trying to direct sell you on a trade-related product. Plus, of course, there's income from entry fees.

Not to say this is every company's motivation, I stated several other reasons to host. And entering a competition is a good exercise, let alone the thrill if you can be a finalist. It's such an opportunity that it would almost be foolish not to enter. But I can't say it is a complete gauge of whether or not someone is a great writer.

INT. SCREENPLAY COMPETITION OFFICE - DAY

The hacks sit among stacks of script entries in a small room. Light barely passes through a window, obscured by reams of processed pulp, spiky brads protruding.

HACK #1
(angrily)
NOW what do we do??

HACK #2
(laughing)
Call a recycling company?

HACK #1
(cynically)
This was your idea, now look, it would take weeks just to enter all of their emails into a SPAM program, it's not worth it.

HACK #2
(resigning)
I know. Do you think anyone will be able to tell that we haven't read a single one of these?

HACK #1
There's no law against it. How much did we get in entry fees?

HACK #2
Well, five thousand entries, thirty a wack, that's fifteen thousand bucks! And not a single read!!

HACK #1
Okay, we DO have to pick a winner though, to make it legit.

HACK #2
Ach, just pick one out of the pile, we'll notify them, and just like "Rock of Love", we'll give it a consider but never marry it!

HACK #1
(elated)
Then we'll have another competition!

HACK #2
EXACTLY!!

FADE OUT