WRITER'S CRAMP

INT. SCREENED PORCH - MORNING

Nothing stirs, not even a Maus.. because Brian is in Atlanta! By the time you read this, he will be back, but right now he and Lovely Wife are soaking in the big urban paradise known as the "ATL".

BRIAN (V.O.)
Ahh, civilization, at last, how refreshing. Living in these small towns, people sound like each other, even start looking like one another. Scary stuff!
(beat)
So, let's take this Sunday to kick back and look upon my newfound career of screenwriting. This is my fortieth consecutive daily blog post, so we're over a month in. With that I have proven my will and stamina, my discipline. The mentors say this counts big in the industry, the profession deals with discipline and deadlines: a pitch, draft, rewrite, polish.. all perfectly formatted, spell checked, and bound. Dot the i's, cross the t's.

I haven't been lacking for content, that's a good thing. Not once have I illed under the famed "writer's block", a condition I'm sick of reading about on screenwriting blogs. What ISN'T there to write about? I've got writer's cramp, not block! Maybe it's because I've got forty-three years of this packed tightly into me, dying to get out? Whatever the case, it's not a problem, and won't be, unless something happens to my ten digits, all highly insured appendages of the decorative artist himself, if I may add.

Script-wise, it's been sweet, I "killed it", as Rachel Zoe would say. I'm almost three fourths done with my script, and those parts have been rewritten and polished several times. And I have yet to paste in all of my spontaneously scripted scenes from Wordpad. The goal is to have the script written by the end of the month, and I see no problem with that. Sixty days, from when I didn't even know the difference between O.S. (offscreen) and V.O. (voiceover), to a properly formatted and polished script. Not bad, eh?

And mind you, I was, and still am, learning in my fake, online scriptwriting school the whole time, having to sift through tons of columns on the craft, written by my Hollywood mentors.

Oh, and being a full-time "bloggist", which sounds cooler to me than being a simple "blogger". You'll know the difference between the two when you hit a blog: one type is a sort of living diary, full of the "f-word", a load of incomprehensible B.S., or just chock-full of "Google Ads". The "bloggist" type, a term which I just invented, is a spin on a columnist who writes a blog, there is actual CONTENT, imagine that. Or, at least it's pretty funny, and I just love blogs that contain actual humor.

To be modest, there's a lot of things I have yet to learn: how and why so many different screenwriters decide to capitalize different words or characters, or not. Downloading scripts has been a blast, by the way. I've picked up on a few style tips but am sure not to emulate anything too much in my own work. "SIDEWAYS", that's a funny script, and a great movie, check out the link.

So far, the script is testing out good. I had the full picture in my head in a short amount of time, writing out scenes in whatever order they magically appeared. In piecing that together it was apparent that my characters had grown, an awful lot, as well as my knowledge as to what techniques I should be employing in the script. It made for some effective rewriting and a more intriguing storyline. It's unorthodox, no doubt, but it kept the writing fresh, bouncing around to scenes.

And now, fresh out of a visit to Atlanta, seeing some diverse culture thrive, I'm bound to give my characters more life and interest than "business as usual in Mayberry". Stay tuned, folks!