SORE LOSER

INT. SCREENED PORCH - MORNING

Brian pokes on the keys of his aged Dell laptop as two mockingbirds dogfight outside the screen. Swooping by, the birds battle in a controlled state of chaos.

BRIAN (V.O.)
Give peace a chance, birds!
(beat)
If you missed the MTV VIDEO MUSIC AWARDS (VMA's), live from New York last night, perennial sore loser and Joe Wilson-esque KANYE WEST interrupted TAYLOR SWIFT, as she gave her acceptance speech, by grabbing the mic and informing us that Beyonce' had a great, implying "better", video.

How sad. Check out more of Kanye's loser history at DICKIPEDIA, amazing site.


That, according to news sources, was followed up by several celebrities, such as Katy Perry and Pink, "tweeting" live from the show with negative comments directed towards West.

How cool!

In other "poor sports" news, SERENA WILLIAMS was fined $500. for intentionally smashing her racquet to pieces in the early rounds of a U.S. open match against Kim Clijsters. The game was ended when Williams threatened a female asian line judge who cost her a point with a foot fault call. Williams walked to the judge, voicing her opinion, and stated "I will kill you" or "I will take this (f-ing) ball and shove it down your (f-ing) throat", whichever version you believe. For this she was punished with another point, ending the game, costing her the match, and was subsequentally fined $10,000. She released a statement but has never apologized.

Sore losers, nobody likes 'em, except other losers.

What was it with certain people this week? Is it the "end of summer" factor, where everyone swears they don't care how cold it gets, they just can't stand anymore heat (only to complain of freezing by November)?

Is it the economy, with everyone stressed that they might lose their job tomorrow, or not find one if they've already taken the loss?

Maybe it's the healthcare debate, T.E.A. parties, and the fact that "Cash for Clunkers" is no longer doling out free funds to the entitled auto industry?

Nope.

This was just another week where sore losers stole someone else's thunder, dulled their shine, or as I heard Ne-Ne from "REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA" say last night, "gave her some shade", meaning shading someone out of their limelight.

Losing sucks alright, but it's no reason to take the winners down with you. Everyone will be a loser at one time or another, face it, we're born to lose, it's how we learn lessons.

I can't help but to think of that 1990's phenomenon of child sports: the double winner, where both the winning and losing participants were awarded trophies. One of my relatives was enraged that her son, on a losing soccer team, was awarded a trophy. Losing builds character, it should make someone even more competitive and determined, if not that, then it at least should give them the idea that maybe they should quit, maybe they're just not cut out for the task.

One might wonder what the subject of losing has to do with a blog about a screenwriter. Everything. This profession is full of losers, literally, it's part of the game and you should know that when you enter the ring. You're going to lose almost any competition you enter, if you do, by chance, get produced, you'll lose a lot of battles with executives and actors who take free reign to change your script. You'll lose your mind over insane requests on rewrites and the like. To be good at screenwriting you have to be an exceptionally good loser.

The astounding thing is that most screenwriters, or the ones attempting to be, suck at losing, really bad, pathetically. Several of them have blogs that seem to be designed around losing, most of their posts laced with "Debbie Downer-isms" about not getting a read, return call, competition win, or how much they hate DIABLO CODY for making this job look easy.

The amount of losers that these down-trodden scribes attract is amazing, misery seems to love company.

EXT. TRAIN STATION - DAY

A steaming locomotive puffs up to the station, lines HISS as the mass of pot metal grinds to a hault. A crowd of crabby scribes jockey for position, near a passenger car door, as it swings open with a SCREECH.

CONDUCTOR
(gleeful)
Next stop" the Land of Sore Losers!!

CUT TO:

INT. SCREENED PORCH - MORNING

Brian shakes his head, thinking about the pathetic, sore losers.

BRIAN (V.O.)
Losing is an art form that we should all strive to be good at. Anyone can be a gracious winner, that's what winning is about: looking good, making it look easy, being the pro. But losing, that draws the line between amateurs and professionals, the decent and indecent, the good spirited or sore loser. When you watch someone lose their real character is revealed.

That's the difference in this blog, it's loser rehab. So if you find yourself swimming with sharks and you need some inspirational motivation to get off of that cloud, come here, and post something, but don't be such a loser, or at least a sore one.

CUT TO:

EXT. TRAIN STATION - DAY

A sleek, modern german ICE train glides into the station, electronic doors whirring open in sync.

CONDUCTOR
(gleeful)
Next stop, The Winners.. ALL ABOARD!!

FADE OUT