CAPTIVE

INT. SCREENED PORCH - MORNING

We see Brian, leaning over the Dell.
He turns his left palm upward, observing a small, red, raised patch on his wrist.
It itches.

BRIAN
Damn mosquito!

BRIAN (V.O.)
Good morning. First off, if you're still reading this, I'd like to thank you. Thanks for checking out my blog even if you accidentally landed here looking for "real" tips on screenwriting, because I have no "tips", just examples and thoughts.

If you know anything about format or vernacular, and are still reading, again I thank you. I have, like any amateur scribe, offended numerous times with my excessive use of capitals and beats. And the layout of this blog is not exactly in proper script format, but not a bad mock thereof.

Yes, I was overly impressed with Shane Black's action writing.

CUT TO:

INT. BLACK SCRIPT PAGE - DAY

We see the text.

A BLUE CAR fishtails around the turn.
A RED TRUCK follows.
A CEMENT TRUCK rolls over and CRUSHES both of them.

BRIAN (V.O.)
Yes, seeing this guy's work made me want to capitalize any word I thought was important. I was worse than a grandma who has discovered the internet and decided it's easiest to email if she uses that ever-so-neat "Caps Lock" button on the keyboard.

And the parentheticals, I know, any director or actor would cringe at the number I use. Especially the content, I think "pissed" is my favorite parenthetical but I'm not sure if it's used in the professional world.

But, in a positive light, I have stayed at least somewhat entertaining. If I can hear a laugh from my lovely wife while she is reading the blog, that's worth a laugh from hundreds of people in a theater. I then feel validated.

And my consistency has been good. I've been steadily delivering posts. Half the reason of keeping the blog is to show that I am consistent, and persistent.

So, as of today, I promise not to go overboard with the caps anymore, they will be limited only to sounds and when I introduce new characters.

CUT TO:

EXT. ROWBOAT - DAY

BLACKBEARD sits at the stern, POUNDING his wooden leg on the side of the decrepit boat.

BRIAN (V.O.)
Yeah, something like that.

BLACKBEARD
(loudly)
Row, you hunchback!

BRIAN (V.O.)
Yes, like that.

HUNCHBACK
(pissed)
DAMMIT! I'll DUMP you off THAT STERN, PEG-LEG!

BRIAN (V.O.)
Oh no, no, less like that.

FADE OUT