GETTING HOOKED

EXT. SCREENED PORCH - MORNING

We see Brian BENT OVER the aged LAPTOP.
It SILENT, except for the repetitive SOUNDS of SINGING BIRDS.
It's a SYMPHONY of NATURE.
The BIRD SONGS have CATCHY HOOKS.

BRIAN (V.O.)
Which leads me into thinking about the "hook" of things. When I first heard the term, in music, I wondered who decided to change "chorus" to "hook". It irritates me when people decide to rename something when it's already been invented. Take "crunches", in exercising. A "crunch" is basically a "sit-up". Of course, there could be debate over different muscles being worked, positioning, et cetera. I don't care what it's named, it hurts! What were they thinking?

INT. GYM - DAY

TITLE OVER:

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA, 1988

A group of TWENTY people WORK-OUT in TIGHT LEOTARDS.
The "WHITESNAKE" song, "Here I Go Again", blares from a BOOMBOX.
On their BACKS, they PAUSE for the next command from the INSTRUCTOR.

INSTRUCTOR
(exuberantly)
...and that's how you do it, we call it "crunches"!

FLASHDANCE-LOOKING CHICK
(questioning)
Doesn't he mean "sit-ups"?

TAWNY KITAEN-LOOKING CHICK
(cynically))
He renamed sit-ups, how ORIGINAL.

FLASHDANCE-LOOKING CHICK
Maybe they'll hurt less?

TAWNY KITAEN-LOOKING CHICK
Like calling it "Pilates" instead of Yoga?

FLASHDANCE-LOOKING CHICK
What's PILATES?

TAWNY KITAEN-LOOKING CHICK
Yoga, but wait twenty years and they'll be calling it Pilates!

EXT. SCREENED PORCH - MORNING

BRIAN (V.O.)
And that's how sit-ups became crunches.
(beat)
Now with the "hook", versus "chorus", I have to give in. Webster's online defines it as "a device especially in music or writing that catches the attention". Kudos to whoever thought of that. I know the effect works in music, it's like a form of brainwashing. They take some words or sound and drill it into my head, next thing I'm like a zombie, repeating those words or sounds.
(beat)
If I want to hear this echoed, I just hum or sing the hook in the presence of my lovely wife. In less than five minutes I can hear it coming from her, works everytime, guaranteed.
(beat)
Currently, my most popular audible, subversive little ditty is "SHOW ME WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR" by the band "CAROLINA LIAR". They should be given an award for "Brainwashing Hook of the Year", because I can't get that thing off my mind.

BRIAN
(singing)
Show me what I'm look-in' FOR-OR!

BRIAN (V.O.)
Apparently I'm not the only one affected by this. It seems to also have been embedded in many a producer's head. It's on T.V. all the time. It's been used for Overstock.com, A & E's "Obsessed", the 2009 MLB All-Star Game, Post Grad, The Time Traveler's Wife, The T.O. Show, Army Wives, and WarioWare Inc.
(beat)
And I swear it was used on "The Hills" or "The City", but it's not cited.

Brian WONDERS if "The CITY" will RETURN.

BRIAN (V.O.)
In any case, I need to have a good hook in my script. Maybe I do, I'm not yet sure how it pertains to writing. For that I will have to check in with mentor Terri.
(beat)
I need something that is just as infectuous as the "S.M.W.I.L.F." hook, I want producers and directors repeating my hook to themselves, their wives, friends, agents, you name it.
(beat)
If I can create that hook, and then rename something that's already been invented, like they did with "crunches", it might be a sure way to sell my script.

Brian STARES off, thinking of a way to FINISH the BLOG ENTRY.

BRIAN
(singing)
Show me what I'm look-in' FOR-OR!

FADE OUT